Page 111 of No Saint
“I’m going home. If that means you need to use that video—” I snatched one of my T-shirts from the floor. “Then so be it.”
“I deleted the fucking video. Over a week ago.”
That doused a drop of water on my emotions, only to stir in confusion. If he’d deleted the video, then that meant something, didn’t it? That he cared? Or that I could have gone home this entire time, but he let me stay and be Rogue’s servant. His phone rang from the floor where it had landed when I’d thrown it at him. When I looked down and saw Nora’s name on the screen again, I snapped.
I picked it up and answered. If he didn’t want to tell her, I sure as hell would. “Stop calling Nora. You look desperate.”
“I—”
I hung up, then slapped his phone against his massive chest. “See! How hard that is?”
His brow furrowed, his angry gaze peeling back layers I didn’t want him to see. “Feel better?”
“No.” Squishy followed me into the bathroom. “Why can’t you just be a dick for once?” I grabbed my shampoo and deodorant, cramming both into my bag before going back into the bedroom, refusing to look at Wolf. “You had no problembeing a massive dick when you blackmailed me.” I dropped my bag onto the bed and went to zip it, but before I could, Wolf’s hand halted the movement.
“Would you stop?” He snatched the backpack from my grip and dropped it to the floor. “I don’t want Megan. I don’t want Nora. I only want you. Why can’t you just trust that?”
Because I was too messed up when it came to him. Too all in already. Too aware of how much he could hurt me. I looked at the floor, angry at myself, at him.
“Jade…” Wolf took my chin, forcing me to look at him. “I fuckingloveyou. I don’t want anyone else. If you think, for one damned second, that any other girl could ever measure up to you…” His brow creased. “The way I feel about you. That’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and if you think I would fuck that up…”
Tears spilled down my cheeks. Everything about this hurt, his words, the possibility of losing us again…
“I’d put a bullet in my own head before I let you go again.”
Deep down, I knew he loved me. It was the fear of whether that love was enough that terrified me, that sent me down a rationally irrational spiral.
“Jade, please. I need you.”
And I needed him. Without him, the world felt gray and cold. Colorless. Just as I opened my mouth to speak, a shrill squeak sounded—like a dog toy, except I knew it wasn’t.
My heart skipped a beat before going into overdrive when my gaze landed on Squishy, his face buried in my backpack that Wolf had dropped beside the bed.
Wolf turned just as Squishy dragged the penguin from my backpack and, with a condemning squeak, dropped it to the floor. Time slowed down when one paw landed on its stomach and his sharp teeth wrapped around its head. One hard tug, and he ripped it off. Blue pills exploded from the toy, and Squishy stepped back. His dirty deed done.
My face burned as I sank to the floor, sweeping pills into my hand. The dog sniffed a few stray pills. “Squishy, no.” I shoved him away, and he huffed before hopping onto the bed.
“Jade,” Wolf’s voice came from over my shoulder.
My entire body tensed, my brain trying to come up with an explanation for the stupid penguin I’d forgotten all about.
“Why did you have that in your bag?” The tinge of hurt in his voice had guilt and shame taking root in my chest.
“It’s not—” I could have lied, but I didn’t want to. I couldn’t. I knew how bad it looked, though. How bad itwas. I pushed to my feet, ignoring his gaze as I poured the handful of pills onto the nightstand.
“Jade?”
Taking a breath, I turned and looked at him. “I wasn’t going to use it.”
His brows furrowed. “Use it?” Evidently, it wasn’t as obvious as I’d thought.
I drew in a long breath. “You were blackmailing us…had a loaded gun to our heads. And then I figured out what you use the penguins for.” The confession poured from my lips in a rushed string. “We needed our own gun.” The betrayal ripped across his face. “But I couldn’t bring myself to do that to you!” I said in a rush.
He snatched the backpack from the floor, zipped it, and shoved it toward me. “Get out.”
My heart seized in my chest, as though it might stop beating altogether if he meant that. “What?”
“You heard me.”
