Page 112 of No Saint
It didn’t stop, but I almost felt it crack. He’d just told me he needed me, and now he wanted me to leave. I’d gone from seeing our whole future play out before my eyes to helplessly watching it slip through my fingers.
Tears poured down my face, the reality of losing him again tearing me apart. “What would you have done if someone were blackmailing you?”
“It’s not someone. It’s me.” His expression shuddered, jaw ticcing.
I knew him well enough to know nothing I could say would change anything right then.
“And I had that video deleted after you told me about your parents’ situation. Because the guilt of it was too much. Because I loved you. You, on the other hand, kept that fucking penguin.”
“I forgot I even had it,” I whispered, taking the backpack in what felt like an act of finality.
“I wish I could believe that.” His gaze held mine for a torturous beat. “Just go, Jade. Please, just get the fuck out of here. Out of my life…”
Thirty
Wolf
Morning sunlight streamed through the windows. Dog kept barking at those damn rats going apeshit on their wheel, and I wanted to chuck the pillow at the cage. I hadn’t slept worth a crap, just drifted in and out of a light slumber, every once in a while reaching for Jade, only to feel empty sheets, then glance at the pile of pills still on the nightstand. I couldn’t make sense of my emotions.
One minute, I was mad as hell; the next, I felt sick to my stomach. I’d go from feeling like I had overreacted to feeling like an idiot for trusting her when she obviously didn’t trust me—keeping that penguin as a back-up plan, trying to accuse me of going off with Megan…
I tried closing my eyes again, but that damn rat kept going on the wheel, sending Dog into a frenzy. Then pop music blasted from somewhere downstairs. “Fuck it,” I mumbled, getting out of bed to pack my practice bag before I went downstairs.
Tampons still littered the living room, along with popcorn and empty Solo cups. I couldn’t be bothered to be annoyed, not when it felt like my entire world was nothing but a ball of flaming shit.
Cassie stood at the stove, screeching along to the lyrics while burning whatever was in the skillet. “Where’s Jade?” she asked.
The mention of her name stung, and I tried to swallow around the knot in my throat. “She went home.” I dropped my bag on the floor.
She stopped stirring whatever was in the bowl and looked at me. “What do you mean, she went home?”
“That she fucking left. I deleted the damn video.” Saying it out loud hurt like a motherfucker. Add to that the fact that she’d left without much of a fight—like she realized I wasn’t worth it—hurt even more. “You should probably leave, too.”
Her eyes narrowed, studying me like I was full of shit. “Youdeletedthe video?”
“That’s what I said. So get out. I’ve had enough of your shit, Cassie.” I moved past her and grabbed the coffee, but I could feel her stare burning a hole in the back of my skull.
“How long ago?”
“A few weeks.” I felt myself tense, expecting a skillet to the head.
“Are you?—”
“Turn that shit off, Cass,” Rogue shouted from the hallway. “It’s nine on a Sunday, for Christ’s sake.”
I turned just in time to catch him step into the kitchen and Cassie hurl a batter-covered spatula at him. He ducked seconds before it would have smacked him in the face. “What the?—”
“Wolf said he deleted the video!Weeksago.”
Rogue’s gaze swung to me. “Yeah, but?—”
“But nothing. You’ve kept me here for no damn reason! Cleaning your shit. Cooking your stupid food.” She snatched the mixing bowl from the counter and chucked it across the room. Batter splattered the wall, the floor, Rogue. “Fuck you.” Her crazy gaze pinged between Rogue and me. “Both of you!”Her awful music hit a chorus that was all about women’s empowerment right before she shoved past him. “I’m out!”
“Not before you clean the tampons and shit up from your feminist coupe!”
“Fuck off!
Her angry footfalls echoed through the house before his attention turned to me. “Why the hell did you tell her?”
