Page 16 of No Saint
I smiled at the relief in her voice. “That’s so great, Mom.” For one more month at least…
“I just know it was the church. You know Marleen, the lady who does the free aerobics club there? She did a fundraiser inBarrington last week.” The rich town nestled next to Dayton. “A whole five hours on a spin bike.”
“A spin bike?”
“People sponsored her. You know, for the church charity?”
“Yeah, I know, I just….” Not like a spin bike was worth giving someone money for. Although maybe five hours of it was.
“I never thought she’d raise that much, though. Isn’t that kind of her, honey?” I wanted to tell her that Marleen and her spin bike hadn’t done crap. But not like I could say,Oh, by the way, Mom, I stole and sold drugs to get it.Because God—and my mother—knew, I wasn’t getting that money legally.
“So kind.” I was even fake smiling.
“She was the one who told me about that soup diet. You know the one I told you about?”
I let out a long sigh. “Yep, I remember.” How could I possibly forget that one hundred percent serious suggestion that I consume only cabbage soup and apple cider vinegar for a week?
“Have you tried it yet? I lost five pounds.” My mom had never been bigger than a size four, but heaven forbid the woman not fit in her high school cheerleading uniform at the age of forty-five.
“Yeah because you starved yourself.”
“You’d probably get rid of those ten pounds you want to lose.” The ten poundsshewanted me to lose… That familiar feeling of shame crept over me, of not being good enough. “I keep telling you, you could be so beautiful if you just tried a little.”
I’d heard my entire life how I could have been Miss Dayton, just like her, if only I’d lose weight and have fewer “curves.” If only I’d make some effort. I knew it didn’t come from a bad place, more like fear that I wouldn’t fit into the world without a perfect body and beauty. There went my moment of levity.
Normally, I’d be able to fight off the feeling of worthlessness with a good pep talk.I love and accept myself.Yeah, that wasn’tgoing to work today, either. Not when one ex had cheated on me, and the other had called me a charity case.
A knock on the door had me breathing a sigh of relief. It was the perfect excuse to end the call before I said something unkind to her. She had enough on her plate, and I knew that, in her mind, those ten pounds would bring me unparalleled joy.
“Someone’s at the door, Mom. I have to go.”
“Oh, okay. I love you, honey.”
“Love you, too.” I hung up, set my phone on the coffee table, and went to answer the door.
The bang came over the door again, harder this time. It was probably Miss Peggy from downstairs. She always locked herself out and asked us to pick the lock for her. Honestly, all it took was a student ID card, which was concerning considering she didn’t have a chain on the door. Then again, no burglar could contend with her six feral cats. They were worse than any pit bull.
Cassie’s music grew louder, “Single Ladies”blaring from her room.I guessed she wasn’t playing burglar today then. If that asshole ginger cat scratched me again…
When I glanced through the peephole, it was black. “Again?” The damn neighborhood kids kept spray painting everyone’s peepholes. I’d only cleaned ours off last week.
On a sigh, I released the deadbolt, but like any good Dayton girl, kept the chain on as I cracked the door.
Rogue stood on our worn doormat. With a mocking smile, he lowered the tattooed hand he’d used to cover the peephole. A cold sense of foreboding trickled down my spine at the action, but it wasn’t uncommon for Cassie to refuse to answer the door for him. He always turned up a few days after they’d had a fight. And she always acted like she was going to do anything other than get back with him. The girl had not worked out the laws of probability. Still, despite the sight of him standing on my doorstep being normal, explainable, my brain screamed that heknew we’d stolen his drugs. I also knew my face practically had its own subtitles, so it took everything in me to try to project calm, guilt-free serenity.I inhale peace and exhale worry.
“Is Cassie here?”
“No,” I lied. “She’s out.”
Rogue’s attention shifted over my shoulder. The sappy pop music blaring through the apartment was a dead giveaway of my lie.
He dipped his head on an impatient laugh. When his gaze met mine again, it was glacial. I’d seen Rogue pissed, pleading, even sad, but this was something else entirely. I wanted to step back and slam the door in his face, but thatwouldmake me look guilty.
“I don’t appreciate lies, Jade.” Gone was the rich playboy, the wolf shedding his sheep’s clothing and revealing his sharp teeth. The true face behind the Gucci shirts and Ray Bans. One I recognized all too well from years of growing up around hard and desperate men.
“You’re right, Rogue. She is here, but…” I forced my expression into something I hoped was akin to pity. “But she’s really upset this time. She doesn’t want to see you. I’m sorry.”
I went to shut the door, praying he’d let it go. Instead, he rammed his foot into the gap. That one action escalated the situation from manageable to blind panic. I’d been prepared for violence my whole life.
