Page 75 of No Saint
At least he wasn’t using me for his own satisfaction. Maybe that should have made me feel better, but that somehow made it worse. He’d had me half-naked, his mouth on my pussy, and it had done nothing for him. Had he finally realized I wasn’t on his level, and blond cheerleaders with perfect bodies were, in fact, his vibe? Either way, he didn’t want me. Not even for sexual gratification. I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt so small or worthless, and that was saying something.
Distracted, I jumped when the passenger door clicked open. Wolf slipped into the seat, and the tension ratcheted up as fast as my self-esteem plummeted.
“Here.” He handed over a wad of cash before buckling himself up. “Wasn’t much. Just take all of it.”
I counted through four hundred dollars. Damn, those scrap dealers were tight. I held out half of the money. “There’s doing me a favor, and there’s…” Pity. Owing him. No one did something for nothing. Really, I was barely entitled to half. We both knew he didn’t need my help with that tractor.
Unmoving, he stared at the money in my outstretched hand, his brow furrowed.
I shoved it against his chest. “I’m not taking it, Wolf.”
With a sigh, he took the money and thumbed out a few bills. “At least take the extra fifty you need for your dad’s medication.”
I turned my attention to the back windshield and put the truck in reverse. “No.” I wasn’t going to be his charity case again, in any way. Money, orgasms…
We drove back without a word, and I wished a black hole would open up under my seat and swallow me.
The second I got inside the house, I bolted for the sanctuary of his room, with Squishy following. Maybe it was presumptuous of me to use his room as my escape, but he didn’t say anything or follow.
With a frustrated groan, I crawled into the sheets that smelled of him and pulled Squishy close. Much to his huffing disgust, but I needed the comfort the chubby little animal brought. I’d fucked up. Being around Wolf, living in his house, even sleeping in his bed… I could handle it just so long as lines weren’t crossed. So long as there was no hope. Hope was dangerous. That kiss in the bar parking lot, I had been able to put down to alcohol. A regretful error on his part. But this was different. We were both sober. I had started it, and it had gone much further than a kiss.
As I lay there, in Wolf’s bed, with his dog, I’d never felt so alone. I wanted nothing more than to go home. Where I could pretend, once again, that Wolf Brookes didn’t exist, and that I could possibly live and be happy without ever feeling that again. But I still had three weeks. Unless… I thought of the little drug-filled penguin stuffed in the bottom of my backpack, then immediately shied away from it.
No, he’d helped me. I couldn’t do that.
I had to wonder if this wasn’t all part of some punishment for what I’d done to him. Yet, even feeling as awful as I did right then, if I could go back to that barn, I knew I would kiss him again. If I didn’t get out of this house, Wolf would eventually break me. I would let him.
Coming here was purely a matter of self-preservation, avoiding jail or expulsion. I wasn’t sure if I was saving myself anymore. I had a choice. Use the penguin and condemn Wolf to save myself. Or condemn myself and save Wolf.
Early morning sunshine spilled through the kitchen window as I did the dishes. It was a Saturday, and the house was blissfullypeaceful. The guys were probably still asleep, except Wolf, who was absent from the couch—unless he’d slept somewhere else. With someone else.
I rubbed at my chest as a nasty feeling spread through it. I’d been avoiding him for the last three days, but I knew he was avoiding me just as much. Would he sleep with someone to put distance between us? I pushed the thought from my mind and focused on cleaning so I could run away to Dayton for the weekend. I was excited to go home and see my parents. Thanks to Wolf and a new Lonely Fans subscriber, who had randomly tipped me fifty bucks for nothing, I could replace my mom’s grocery money that she’d used to buy Dad’s meds. Thanks, ToesToesToes123—at least until they asked for a video of me jerking off a phallic object with my feet.
“You off to Dayton?”
I jumped at the sound of Cassie’s voice, dropping the plate I’d been washing into the sudsy water. “Yeah. After I finish these stupid chores.”
She moved beside me and poured a cup of coffee. “Surprised they let you off.”
“Yeah, well. Guess Rogue felt generous.” My gaze swept over her Roller Burger uniform. “You’re up early.” Roller Burger didn’t open until eleven.
“Had to drive Mr. Generous to the ER.”
“Why?”
She lifted a brow as she took a slow sip of her coffee. “Allergic reaction.”
“To what?”
“Who knows?” Oh, she knew. And the fact that she did said a lot about how stupid Rogue was to expose his weaknesses.
I deadpanned her. “I hope it’s not serious, Cassie. If you kill him…”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s just a little swelling. Well, quite a lot of swelling, but just like his lips and eyes. He can breathe.”
In the past week, she’d turned all the man’s clothes pink, spiked him with laxative, unleashed rats in his house, dusted him with itching powder, and now given him a visit to the hospital. If he didn’t let us go soon, he had a death wish.
“Anyway, I’m going to get a shower.” She drained her mug, then rinsed it in the sink. “Tell your parents I said, ‘hi.’”
