Page 12 of Are We Nearly There Yet?

‘No.’

She ignores me. ‘We should go over there and say hi! Imagine if the paps made the samemistake I did! We could totally end up on E! Online as the “mysterious girls flirting with Brad Pitt in front of Jennifer Aniston”.’

‘We are women, not girls,’ I say robotically. ‘Stop infantalising our gender.’

‘Come on,’ she says, grit in her voice, ignoring me.

‘I really don’t think ...’ I try, but it’s too late. She’s already aggressively flipped her hair over her shoulder andis striding towards thenon-alike who, honestly, looks more like Goldie Hawn than Brad Pitt.

I follow after her, kind of intrigued as to where this is going.

‘Hey! Hey!’ Isy is trying to getnot-Brad’s attention, her voice an octave higher than usual. Isn’t it weird how we get all reedy andsing-song when we’re flirting with men? Like we think sounding more like a kid is sexy?

Actually, maybe E! Online will mistake her for a ‘girl’ after all.

The men turn around, surprised.

‘Um, hi?’ the secondnot-Brad says, hesitantly.

Isy smiles coyly, ‘We’re British,’ she says, as if that’s all they need to hear. And apparently it is, because they turn fully towards us then, smiling widely now.

‘Brits, huh?’ the first says, delighted. ‘My sister visited London lastyear, she went to a bunch ofpubs. She says they’re everywhere over there, you can’t throw a stone without hitting a Red Lion or a Royal Oak! You Brits are hilarious.’

Isy flips her hair again. ‘What can I say, we love a pint of beer over there,’ she says coquettishly, eyelashes fluttering, voice stillpaedo-friendly.

‘I’m Noah, he’s Ethan,’ the less annoying of the two says nicely, offeringhis hand to me.

‘Hello Noah and Ethan, how are you?’ I say, shaking Noah’s hand.

Ethan chuckles. ‘You Brits, with your weird sayings! I love it!’ he says, taking my hand, too, as I peer up at him.

‘Sayings?’ I repeat, confused. ‘How are you?’

‘I’m great babe, I’m great!’ he says, misunderstanding me. ‘Hey, do you know my pal John Windermere? He used to work with us and he’s fromEngland, you must know him.’ Isy pretends to think about it and then exclaims, ‘Oh wow, you know what, I definitely think I do know John – British accent, right?’

The pair nod happily and the group suddenly feels more intimate.OK, I may not approve of her techniques but Isy is good at this.

Ethan takes a tiny step back, giving Isy theonce-over.

‘You’re so hot! You must be an actress?’he declares. ‘And you have great teeth.’ He pauses before adding a little unnecessarily, ‘For a Brit.’

He looks at me next, goes to say something and takes a polite sip of his drink instead.

Oh well.

‘I am an actor, yes!’ Isy says, beaming. ‘My name is Isabelle Moore.’ She flicks her hand at me without looking away from Ethan. ‘She’s Alice.’

He leans in. ‘Listen, we’re producers,and I gotta say, you really have something. You ever do commercials? You’d be great in something I have coming up.’

Isy makes a gargled noise. She can barely contain her excitement as she bounces up and down on the spot. ‘You bet I do!’ she says. I snort and she glances briefly at me with irritation before continuing. ‘Er, I mean, I’ve mainly done stage work up until now, but I really respectthe process in adverts these days. There’s so much talent involved. All thebig-name writers are doing commercials, right? It feels like really ethical and important work. You’re influencing a nation.’

Ethan chuckles again, ‘Sure babe, and there’s just so much cash in advertising. You gotta number I could call you on?’

She roots around in her bag, pulling out a crisp white business card,and hands it over, beaming.

‘How about you?’ says Noah nicely to me. ‘Are you an actor, too?’

‘Yeah, are you, like, acharacteractress?’ adds Ethan pointedly.

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