Page 101 of Seven Exes

‘Fine,’ he snaps. ‘I will go in and pay the man. And I will sort out your stupid stain. Even though I’m sure you caused it.’ He narrows his eyes at me furiously as if I really am penetrating damp. ‘Here.’ He hands me some documents. ‘Give these to your friend moving out. It’s her paperwork.’

I take them, eyeballing him as he heads inside.

‘Thanks, guys,’ I smile brightly at Ivan and Sofia. ‘I’m glad you’ve stayed friends.’

They beam at each other. ‘Us too!’

A part of me is sad Ivan and Sofia didn’t make it past theirfourth date, but there’s no bad blood there. Sofia was the one who ended it, explaining how she had too many other options on Tinder to just settle for one man. She said she’d finally realized how much she loves being single. She loves the freedom and the adventure and the spontaneity it offers. Plus, the on-demand peen on dating apps. Either way, I can understand what she means now. Being single can be amazing if you’re in the right headspace for it.

I take the documents inside and leave them on Bibi’s old bed. She can pick them up when she and Alex come over for dinner later.

Out in the hallway, I can hear the plumber arguing with Whittle about money, and Louise laughing on the phone to Sven – Nikar – in the living room. But I stay in here for another minute, looking around, taking it all in. It’s so weird seeing Bibi’s room empty like this. All her lovely stuff, gone. Well, not gone, just moved over to Alex’s. Not even that far away. Only three stops up the Northern Line.

I sigh.

Change is weird, isn’t it? I try not to resist it – I even try to embrace the good changes – but it’s still weird. And it feels like the last few months have been all change.

Me turning thirty, Bibi moving out, Sven moving in. Bibi starting her new company and us getting to work together on some fun events. Actually, that’s been fantastic. My bosses have been blown away by her work ethic. So have I, given what I’d seen at The Swab. They’re even talking about taking her little company on in some kind of formal capacity. Like,with a financial retainer of some kind. It’s brilliant and I know Bibi’s having the time of her life. Plus, it makes me look good that I brought her in.

What else, what else? Oh yeah.

Nick.

‘Helloooooo?’ a familiar voice shouts down the hallway, accompanied by the scrambling sound of doggy nails on wood floors.

Jackie Weaver appears from nowhere in the doorway, breaking into the biggest doggy-grin when she sees me. Bounding towards me, tongue out, she leaps into the air, knocking me backwards onto Bibi’s old mattress and covering my face with delirious licks.

‘Do I get a kiss, too?’ Nick leans on the door frame, grinning at the sight of me and Jackie wrestling.

Like I said, some change is good. Very very good.

It’s early days but I know what it is me and Nick have. It’s the first time there haven’t been any games or messing about. He texts me right back, he turns up on time, he tells me I’m beautiful without me dropping heavy-handed hints. I’m not in any rush to get serious or define it – not like I was before – but we have the best time together. We get on so well and the sex is amazing. Especially since we were able to get more than just the tip in.

‘Get over here and help me,’ I laugh as Jackie licks my eyeball. Nick obliges, fighting his way through, to gather me up and into his arms for a proper hello.

God, his kisses still make me dizzy.

‘You ready for our dog walk in the park?’ he murmurs into my neck and I’m suddenly not ready at all. In fact, I might have to just take him over to my room and—

‘Jackie!’ I exclaim, pulling away from Nick, as she knocks over Bibi’s paperwork from Mr Whittle, scattering it across the floor.

‘Sorry.’ Nick grabs for Jackie’s collar. ‘I’ll get her out of your way. Meet you outside in a minute?’ I nod as he leans over for another kiss before exiting.

As I gather up all the papers and stack them back in a pile, I stop short.

Oh my god.

No way no way no way.

It’s her name. Bibi’s full, proper name. It’s right there, in the documents. In black and white.

Holy crap.

Birgit Morag Colmer.

BIRGIT. That is fucking brilliant.

I hear the door slam as the plumber and landlord leave together, still arguing loudly.

I pull out my phone to text Bibi – sorry, Birgit – to tell her I finally know her secret. But then I stop.

She doesn’t want us to know and she likes teasing us about it. I can let her have that. And if she wants to tell us the truth one day, I can always act surprised. I can give her that much. She givesmeso much. Her, Alex, Louise. They’re the very best of people and I want to hang out with them for all my life.

I’m excited about Nick, I really am. I’m excited for what adventures we might have, but I know what’s important now. He isn’t theeverythingI needed from a man, and I understand that. He adds something to my life; he makes me smile and laugh and itisfun having someone on my team, to do fun things with. But he adds loveliness to what is already wonderful. I don’t need a partner to make things good because it already is good. I’m so, so glad I finally understand that; understand how lucky I am. It’s the best thing to realize. And I’m weirdly grateful to every single one of my seven exes for teaching me that. They helped me understand myself and helped build me into the person I am. They all led me here, to the place I am now, with my best friends at my side and a job I love that doesn’t take over everything in my life. And they led me to Nick.

I’m grateful.

Louise pokes her head in. Her new magician stage dress is soaked and she looks stressed out.

‘Toilet’s broken again, babe. I’ve put out the vase, it’s your turn.’

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