Page 37 of Seven Exes

‘Oh my god, yes!’ I burst into tears out of nowhere. ‘I really do want to make up. It could never be too late!’ Shestarts crying too, so I head to her side of the table for a hug. It’s familiar and lovely and I want to stay there crying together for as long as possible.

I finally pull away because there is something I want to say; something I’ve wanted to say ever since we broke up. ‘Alex’ – we regard each other with watery eyes – ‘I need you to know that I did honestly have real feelings for you back then. I might’ve played them down and pretended it was all meaningless sex, but I do understand now that itwasreal. At the end, I think I made you feel like you were mad to think there was something special between us, but there was, there really was.’ I pause. ‘There were so many confusing, blurred lines between the friendship and the love I felt for you already, but I know that what we had meant something. It was wrong and unbelievably shitty to deny it.’ I squeeze her hand. ‘I’m really sorry.’ She nods slowly and I circle my arms around her again, knowing she hears me.

My phone vibrates. It’s Lou.

Louise Hickman (school)

Message: Babe, how’s it going? Tell Shelley that I still love her and really miss her.

Message: *Alex!

Message: or whatever she’s going by these days

5.45pm

Also, when do you reckon you’ll be back? Bibi is over guarding the loo and says it’s your turn.

5.45pm

I dry my face with my sleeve while Alex does the same.

‘Um, Shelley – I mean Alex – would you fancy coming back to the flat to see Lou and meet Bibi? We kinda have a toilet situation that I need to oversee.’

‘Ashit-uationyou mean?’ she grins.

I grimace. ‘Not quite, but it needs monitoring until our twat landlord turns up.’

‘That would actually be lovely.’ Alex stands up. ‘I owe Louise an apology anyway. She did nothing wrong in any of this and I hurt her too.’

I get up and we watch the ducks for a few more seconds. A group of girl ducks arrive en masse and the rapist duck reluctantly climbs off and slinks away.

‘I bet it was when you shoutedduck fire,’ Alex says in an awed voice. ‘The other female ducks knew what that meant and they came to save their friend.’

I nod. ‘They’ll probably start a spreadsheet of bad ducks to watch out for now, including him.’

We high-five for girl power – human and animal – before heading for the pub exit.

EX 3: ALEX SHELLEYAKA The Friend With BenefitsPART TWO

Sky Lounge

Dance floor

1.34am

‘Oh my god, I don’t think I’ve ever been this awake,’ I scream over the music and Lou gives me a thumbs-up, sweat plastering hair across her forehead.

‘BEST NIGHT EVER,’ she screams back, jumping up and down to the music.

‘I CAN’T BELIEVE WE’VE NEVER TRIED COKE BEFORE, IT’S SO GREAT!’ I do some little boxes with my hands knowing with absolute certainty that I look super cool.

‘I KNOW, RIGHT! WE SHOULD DO THIS ALL THE TIME!’ She grins maniacally. ‘LET’S DO IT EVERY DAY!’

‘I MEAN…’ I consider this option. ‘MAYBE NOTEVERYDAY BECAUSE THAT MIGHT BECOME AN ISSUE, BUT SURE, LET’S TOTALLY DO THIS AGAIN, IT’S GREAT, MY GUMS FEEL WEIRD.’

Louise nods, accepting this. ‘MINE TOO. DO YOU THINK WE’RE DOING THAT GURNING THING?’

I shrug, still dancing. Maybe I will try big boxes with my hands now.

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