Page 46 of Seven Exes

‘We are, love,’ Lou shushes her kindly. ‘We’re just waiting to see someone, it’s taking a while.’ The receptionist looks over at us disapprovingly and Lou adds quickly, ‘Which is not the fault of the NHS! Not at all. It’s all those bloody cuts, isn’t it!’ She tsks loudly before continuing, ‘The doctors and nurses and, er, receptionists are all doing brilliantjobs and it makes you proud to be British, doesn’t it? Well done, the NHS!’

She glances around for applause from the other waiting room occupants and looks disappointed when she finds none.

‘Whasshetalkinbout?’ Bibi screws up her face, looking to me but I have no answers. ‘When are they going to seeeeee meeeeee?’

I give her a light shove off my lap and back into her own seat. She lollops over us both and seems to pass out.

‘Thank god,’ I say with a sigh of relief. ‘She is such an annoying ill person.’

‘I think we probably all are,’ Louise says wisely. ‘Sorry your night got ruined. What were you up to?’

‘I was composing a message to Will, actually,’ I admit. ‘So much of our relationship was joking about and flirting online, I needed it to be really funny and brilliant, y’know? I sent him a quick something in the end, but it was decidedlynotfunny or brilliant.’

‘You met on Facebook or somewhere, right?’ Louise squints at me across Bibi’s prone body.

I shake my head. ‘Twitter. He was just some random funny account I followed, but there was something about him. All I knew about him was that he was clever with 140 characters, and his fuzzy little avatar photo looked handsome.’ I sigh. ‘At first it was just a bit of silly fun, replying to his hilarious tweets, but then he DM’d me. We started talking a lot after that.’

‘It’s easy to get carried away with a flirtation like that,’ Louise says, a faraway look in her eyes.

I regard her carefully. Lou has been weirdly busy lately; she’s hardly been home, and even when she is, she’s been locked away in her bedroom.

‘GIRLIIIIIIIIIIES?’ Sofia flounces across the waiting room towards us, accompanied by a half-asleep-looking Nick. They’ve both been sitting in the car outside for hours, and I feel a sudden shot of horrible guilt over this poor guy, dragged into our dumb drama. Again.

He yawns, covering his unkempt beard with a hand. ‘Any news? Has Bibi been in to see the doctors yet?’

Lou and I shake our heads.

‘Sofia? Nick?’ Bibi blinks up at them before passing out again. It occurs to me this could be the perfect opportunity to find out her real name. All those tall walls are down thanks to the Night Nurse; surely she’d tell me.

But that feels cruel. To take advantage of someone when they’re so very vulnerable… I mean, I wouldn’t care but sheisunconscious.

‘Merde!’ Sofia shouts, stamping a dainty foot. Nick and a few of the patients smirk at her excessive Frenchness. ‘Fine,’ she yells. ‘I’m going back to the car. I have been swiping on Tinder! This hospital is full of men in their seventies. I’m getting hundreds of matches!’ She struts out as Lou and I try not to laugh. I guess that means she’s over Ivan and good riddance to that.

‘Does anyone want a coffee?’ Nick asks and I leap out of my seat, my legs creaking from hours sat still.

‘Oh god, I do,’ I say loudly and he seems amused by my enthusiasm.

Louise looks down anxiously at Bibi in her lap. ‘I suppose I’d better stay with Bibi,’ she says. ‘Please may I have a cappuccino, Nick?’ Her voice is high and sweet. He grins and nods goofily at her, pulling his coat tighter over his navy blue plaid PJs. I glance between them for a moment before striding off towards the coffee machine.

‘God, it’s nearly four,’ Nick says as he falls into step with me, sounding a little breathless. ‘I don’t think I’ve been up this late since uni.’ He smirks, adding, ‘You remember?’ I feel myself go red – we only really spoke, like, once at Durham and I’m still vaguely embarrassed about quitting the course so early on.

‘Not really,’ I tell him breezily, feeling a bit hot and cross. ‘How’s Jackie? You didn’t think you’d bring her on this middle-of-the-night excursion?’

He shakes his head. ‘Nah, she loves her sleep and gets very grumpy when woken up prematurely. She won’t even notice I’m gone.’

‘Well, tell her I said hi,’ I say, pressing some buttons on the yellowing machine and setting up Lou’s paper cup. ‘Did your parents approve of her in the end?’

‘Adored her,’ he confirms, breaking out into a gooey smile. ‘I think they officially love her more than they love me now.’

‘Quite right,’ I nod, handing him his coffee.

He shows me dog photos as we head back, sipping from the molten coffees in a sleepy trance.

‘Right, I’m going back out to the car,’ he says as we rejoin Lou and a still-unconscious Bibi. ‘Call if you need anything.I’ll be asleep on the back seat, but I’ll have my phone.’ He winks at me. ‘The smell of Stilton is almost completely gone now.’

He’s left before my face can turn its usual full-throated beetroot.

Louise stares after him and then glances at me, a strange look in her eyes.

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