Page 59 of Seven Exes

‘It’s probably a big deal for him,’ Lou says charitably. ‘He’s probably just having a big old think about it and is carefully composing his reply!’

‘What if he doesn’t reply, though?’ My stomach explodes with anxiety. ‘Should I just forget Idris and move onto Carl?’ I pause to groan, throwing my arms across the table. ‘But Iddy was such a big part of my romantic history! And he was ready to give meeverything, y’know? He wanted the whole thing: marriage, babies, a big house in the country. And he had a good job that could provide all those things! He’s a much more sensible option than my other six exes combined! He always had his shit together.’

‘You could tell that.’ Lou is nodding. ‘He always wore such sensible jumpers.’

I sigh again. ‘I was stupid to run away from it.’

‘You were just young!’ Bibi sounds defensive. ‘You weren’t ready and that’s OK. Don’t give yourself a hard time for not wanting to settle down back then. Wanting to be single isn’t an illness that needs curing.’

‘Do you think he’d actually be open to going back there with you?’ Lou is wide-eyed.

I duck my head, a bit ashamed of what I will say next. ‘To be honest,’ I explain in a low voice, ‘I think I’ve always kind of known Idris was still an option. He was so madly in love with me back then, that’s why I had to be so strong when we split up – y’know, with deleting his number and everything – because I knew he’d come back to me in a heartbeat if I asked. He kept saying that when I ended things – that he’d always be there if I changed my mind. It was awful.’ I pause. ‘And now that I’ve thought about him so much, I really want to talk to him. I want to see him!’

‘I knowwww.’ Lou throws her body across the table next to me. ‘It’s like when you’re up for a part in a show or you spot someone in a bar you fancy, and then you can’t stop picturing the what-if of it.’

‘Yeah, or you go for a job interview.’ Bibi’s voice is quiet. ‘And you start imagining yourself there, doing the work, setting up your desk, making small talk with colleagues – all of it.’ She glances over at Franco. ‘And you think about telling your current boss to go fuck himself.’ She turns back to us. ‘It’s hard to go back once you’ve crossed that line.’

‘No more jobs around at the moment then?’ I pout sympathetically.

She puts her head in her hands. ‘I think I’ve now interviewed for every marketing firm in London. There are, like, a hundred applicants for every job posting and the recruiters all keep telling me how brilliantly I’ve done to get through to the interview stage. But then I’m notquitethe right fit for the job.’

Lou reaches over and strokes Bibi’s arm.

‘I’m never going to find anything.’ Bibi sounds so sad, I wish so much that I could help.

‘Why don’t you join me in my mission?’ I suggest brightly. ‘That would give you something to think about and focus on. You could retrace your romantic history to help you meet someone. It would be good for you, and – even better – it would be a distraction from this bloody job hunt! Why not, eh?’

Bibi sits up straighter. ‘Because I’m not interested in dating right now, Esther, I’ve told you that a thousand times.’

I roll my eyes. ‘Yeah, yeah, I know that, but I think you’ll change your mind once you meet someone.’

Bibi eyeballs me. ‘Don’t say that.’ There’s something in her expression that makes my smile waver. ‘I’m so sick of hearing that from everyone. My parents, my relations, fucking acquaintances I’ve met one time. I don’t need it from my friends, too. I need you – my friends! – to believe me when I say I love being single.’ She pauses. ‘And also not judge me if Idochange my mind. Because it’s my prerogative! I’m not anti-relationships, and if I meet someone amazing, I’m open to it. I just don’t want to date, dating is a horrible shitshow of disappointments. And I definitely don’t need to force anything. Likesome people.’

I hesitate for a moment, feeling the sting of her last comment. ‘Sorry,’ I tell her at last. ‘I’ll shut up about it. You’re right of course, it’s up to you.’

‘Your dreams are not my dreams, Esther,’ she says,standing up and adding shortly, ‘I better go serve some more customers. It’s getting busy in here.’

She goes and I look to Lou a bit helplessly. Was I in the wrong there? I know Bibisaysshe’s happy single, but she’s lying, surely?

Lou looks back at me solemnly, before offering, ‘Do you think there’s any chance Great-Uncle Marvin is haunting me?’

‘Morton,’ I correct knowing it’s wrong but not caring. Sighing, I turn away to check my phone again. ‘Idris,’ I mutter as I refresh my emails yet again. ‘Youbetterreply to me soon. All this nonsense you’re bringing back up has to be worth it…’

EX 5: IDRIS ABARAAKA The Serious OnePART TWO

Bella Italia in central London

The loos

8.52pm

‘So???’ My enthusiasm is without bounds. I’ve never been more invested in anything in my life, I cannot cope with the failure of this and I WILL NOT ACCEPT IT.

It’s always the same when I set up two friends on a blind date.

Louise shrugs. ‘Mehhh,’ she says at last, as I gasp, horrified.

‘MEHHH?’ I repeat, super outraged. ‘But… but he’s nice! And handsome! And he’s friends with Iddy, so it means we could double date all the time, Lou! Think of it!’

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