Page 60 of Seven Exes

She does and brightens a little. ‘That would be super fun,’she concedes but then slumps again. ‘I don’t know, I just don’t think I’m feeling it.’

‘Ugh,’ I groan at her in the mirror as I reapply lipstick. ‘For god’s sake, Lou, you’ve been begging me for, like, two and a half years to set you up with one of Idris’s friends. One finally becomes available and you’re meh-ing me. I’m so cross.’

‘Oh, please don’t be cross.’ She looks desperate. ‘I’m sorry! I’m really grateful for Sven. I don’t know what it is, Ishouldlike him. He seems nice and he loves unpretentious pasta, which is always a plus.’

‘That was my number one criteria for you,’ I note.

‘Right!’ she nods. ‘I don’t know what it is exactly.’ She sighs and then stands up straighter. ‘OK, maybe I’ll snog him after dinner to see if sparks fly. It’s worth investigating, isn’t it?’

‘Definitely!’ I crow, checking my teeth for spinach ravioli. ‘Let’s get back out there.’

Outside the loos, Idris is simultaneously emerging from the gents’.

‘I’ll catch up with you.’ I shoo Louise back towards our corner table where Sven is grinning happily.

‘Let’s just give them a second alone,’ I whisper to Idris.

‘Good idea,’ he says agreeably. ‘And it gives me a chance to do this.’ He grabs me around the waist and I resist only minimally.

‘Dooooon’t.’ I push against his wide chest. ‘I just reapplied my lipstick.’

‘Was it the last of your supplies?’ he enquires cheekily and I laugh.

‘No, not technically.’

‘Then more can be applied!’ He raises his finger in the air and I laugh, pulling him closer for a kiss. He smells familiar and warm, but also of garlic.

‘Ow, my ulcer,’ he winces, pulling away. ‘Sorry, I forgot it’s too sore for kissing. Can you see it, is it gross?’ He pulls up his front lip and I move closer to inspect his gums.

‘Yes, very sore-looking,’ I pronounce sympathetically. ‘We need to get you some more sleep and healthy food. Would you like me to Bonjela it for you later?’

‘Yes please,’ he beams. ‘The tomato sauce on the pasta really aggravated it.’

‘I have a back spot I need you to put cream on for me, while we’re doing body admin,’ I note, and he nods, adding it to the mental list.

‘Isn’t long-term romance grand?’ he laughs and squeezes me.

‘How do you think it’s going between them?’ I turn in the direction of Sven and Louise who are talking easily in the corner.

‘Hmm.’ From behind, he circles his arms around me. ‘I think pretty good? Did Louise say much?’

‘Er, nah, not really,’ I hedge. ‘What about Sven?’

‘I forgot to ask,’ he says mildly. Typical bloke, not asking important – vitally important – questions.

‘Ugh, why do you think we left you alone?’ I poke his forearm.

He chuckles, his body moving against mine.

‘Sorry, baby, I needed a wee, too.’ He touches my face, smiling widely. ‘But it would be cool, wouldn’t it? If they liked each other? I can just picture the four of us, a bunch of old-timers, all sitting together on some porch, watching our grandkids running around, being annoying.’

I smile, but there is a strange chill in my veins all of a sudden.

‘We could have a double wedding,’ he laughs and I pull him in for a hug so he can’t see my expression. ‘And be godparents for each other’s kids.’

Every word is stabbing in my chest and I am struggling to breathe properly. It’s the hug, it’s just too tight. I pull back a bit.

‘You OK?’ He’s looking at me strangely now. ‘You’ve gone a bit pale. Was it the kid stuff?’ He laughs and I try to join in. ‘Because obviously we don’t have to do any of that yet. As long as we’re on the same page.’

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