Page 77 of Seven Exes

‘I’ve been watching you,’ he says, moving nearer tomy face. Up close his gorgeousness is overwhelming. It’s almost hard to breathe. Again, though, that might be all the tequila.

‘I know you have,’ I tell him with a level of confidence I don’t feel. ‘I just don’t know why.’ I feel so uncomfortable under his gaze. And so uncomfortable generally – my bra has somehow twisted itself around with one cup trying gallantly to support both boobs.

‘Here, can you hold these for a sec?’ I hand him the drinks I’ve bought for Bibi and Lou, wondering briefly if they’re watching any of this. I hope so. Someone has to witness me talking to this sex god – it must be recorded for posterity because it’s unlikely to happen again. He eyes my drinks as I fiddle with my bra.

‘Can I taste one?’ he asks, taking a large sip of Bibi’s mojito.

Actually, I hope she’s not watching, she’ll be livid.

‘Hmm, that’s really good, I’ll keep this one.’ He doesn’t wait for my permission but I’ve lost all my power of speech. ‘I’m Rich, by the way. What’s your name, hot stuff?’

‘Who is this very obvious bastard?’ Bibi is suddenly at my side. She gives Rich a bleary, but definitely disdainful, once-over.

‘I’m Rich,’ he grins, apparently delighted with the moniker.

‘And I’m pissed off,’ she replies coldly. ‘Because you’re drinking my cocktail.’

‘It’s delicious,’ he grins, unapologetic.

‘What’s going on?’ Louise has arrived too, alarmed athaving missed out. She still looks beautiful, even after the bottomless brunch that turned into an all-night sesh.

‘She’s got a boyfriend,’ I tell Rich, pointing at Louise. He looks back at me, amused.

‘And do you have a boyfriend?’ He leans in, leering slightly. It does something to my insides.

‘Esther’s definitely single!’ Louise eagerly jumps in. ‘She’s been single for ages! Like, forever basically! You should take her out!’

‘Cheers, Lou,’ I mutter.

‘I think I should take youhome,’ he says, eyes still intently looking into mine.

OMG I am absolutely gone.

‘Christ, Esther, you’re not going to buy into that awful line, are you?’ If I could tear myself away from Rich’s eyes, I would no doubt see Bibi rolling hers in this moment.

Of course I’m buying into that line. He could’ve told me to put haemorrhoid cream on his penis, while offering me anal, and I would’ve said yes because oh god, he’sso hot! How do normal grown-ups resist doing things they know are going to be bad for them? I’m twenty-eight now, I really should’ve figured this out.

OK, so it’s very clear this man is another dickhead – a bastard even, as Bibi said. And I’ve met so many bastards.So many. I have been through a thousand of them on Tinder and Bumble and Hinge and every other space we allow men to continue to be fucking men. And I swore I was done with them. Iamdone with them. Bibi’s right. Maybe – for once – Iwill be the grown-up here and say no when I know I should say no. I will not get suckered into being a sucker. I will be a mature, sensible person who is looking for kindness over abs.

‘So?’ Rich the Bastard smiles confidently at me. ‘Can I take you home?’

Not this time. I’m not going to be another idiot who goes home with a sexy stranger just because he’s sexy. I will not let myself fall for the undeniable charms of a bastard.

I make a decision then, taking Bibi’s drink from him with determination and facing him with steel. ‘Rich’ – my voice is strong and my chin high – ‘let me just finish this drink and then let’s get a fucking Uber immediately.’

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

At the sink, Lou is washing her hands, an intense look on her face. She glances up. ‘Ugh, stupid lilies.’ She wiggles her fingers at me. ‘I look like I’ve been eating a curry with my bare hands.’ I cock my head, noting the orange-stained nail beds.

‘Lou, it’s OK if youhavebeen eating curry with your bare hands, you don’t have to pretend flowers did it.’

She gestures at the table and I feel my eyes widen at the huge bouquet of pink lilies, arranged awkwardly in our toilet vase around some green foliage.

‘Whoa,’ I mutter, stepping closer to sniff them. We never have flowers or plants in the flat. No living things are allowed because we kill them. Idris once bought us a cactus because he said it was impossible to get wrong, but it turned yellow within a week.

‘They’re beautiful.’ I turn to Lou, still scrubbing her hands at the kitchen sink with her back to me. ‘From Sven?’ I watch her visibly stiffen.

‘Er, no,’ she says quickly. ‘They’re from my agent.’

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