Page 15 of Date with Destiny

I pick it up, afraid and hopeful. Maybe it’s taken Daniel all this time to realize he’s completely fucked up. That he’s sorry and wants to try again. I open WhatsApp and read his words slowly, terrified I will miss something or read it wrong in my current emotional state.

‘Hey,’ it begins, which feels like a bad start. With people you love and know inside out, you rarely start with a greeting. I take a deep breath, forcing myself to continue.

Hey, I hope you’re doing OK. Sorry to do this, but I can’t carry on paying half the rent on the flat. We’re nearly at the end of our contract, so I’ve just messaged the landlord to let him know. I’ll carry on paying until then but we’ll both have to be out by 29th August. Dx

I burst – back – into tears.

Myfanwy lifts the phone gently from my grasp and there is silence on the other side of the table as she passes it around and they all read his message.

It’s over. It’s really over. If I wasn’t sure before, I really am now. And on top of everything, I now have to find somewhere new to live. How had that not occurred to me? The sadness of that might not be up on the same level as getting dumped, but it’s very real and very painful. I love our flat. Our cosy, one-bed flat on the outer edges of London with its local 24-hour booze and biscuit shop across the road and friendly drug dealer, Kevin, two doors down. I love living there and I love my life there.

But there’s absolutely no chance at all that I can afford the rent on my own.

Across the table Myfanwy whispers something and when I catch it, the reality hits me.

‘The loss of an independence…’

Prediction number two.

I’m going to have to move back in with my mum. It’s my only option. Toni lives with her, but she’s only twenty-three. Living with your parents in your twenties ispractically the only way to survive these days, but movingbackwhen you’re in yourthirtiesis all kinds of humiliating. Plus, Toni doesn’t seem to mind our mother’s overbearing tendencies like I do. I feel suffocated and claustrophobic being around her at work, never mind in her house, in her vice-like clutches.

It’s going to kill me.

Maybe I could afford a houseshare somewhere? Except I know Toni’s been searching for something affordable in the London housing market for a year with no luck. Landlords are squeezing everyone out to make room for yet more Airbnbs. I know everyone probably assumes I can just ask Celeste for money. She’s rich and famous, right? But she’s always been clear that there would never be any handouts in our family. She’s earned her money; we have to earn ours. She will help me if I ask – but only with my old room, not with cash.

I don’t have any other options.

I’m single, jilted, about to be stuck living with my parents, and cursed by a fortune teller.

The wails come thicker and faster as everyone fusses over me.

‘Should we call someone?’ I hear Sonali murmur the question as Myfanwy replies quickly.

‘Not Celeste.’

‘I’ll call Aunt Diane,’ Toni says and I feel her moving away from the table. It makes me cry harder.

‘Is she OK?’ It’s the guy from before and he’s slopping an overflowing ex or espresso martini into my lap. The tearscome even faster. ‘What’s the matter?’ he asks. ‘She on her period or something?’

‘Fuck off,’ Myfanwy snarls and I stop crying for a second.

‘Doyouwant to marry me?’ I implore him and he takes a tiny step back.

‘Huh?’

I sit up straighter. ‘Do you want to get married? I have, like, a whole wedding ready and planned for a week’s time. We could make it work.’ I take a big gulp of the drink he’s just bought me as he watches with frightened eyes. ‘I’m a really nice girlfriend, I swear! I do the washing-up and I take the bins out. I know how to bleed radiators and I can cook four different meals really, really well. OK, two of them are variations of the same cheese toastie but still.’

‘Um,’ his eyes dart back and forth, as he slowly backs away, crashing into several groups of people and not caring. I finally lose him in the crowd, as Myfanwy shuffles closer, encircling me with her arms.

‘He seemed nice, didn’t he?’ I ask through shuddery sobs.

‘Not really,’ she says disagreeably. ‘Thatexpressothing should’ve been an instant deal-breaker, and then the period comment should’ve been a leg breaker.’

‘Oh right,’ I nod, still crying. ‘OK, fair enough. Well, what do I know about men? Clearly absolutely nothing. I thought Daniel was a nice guy who wouldn’t pack up his belongings and leave me on my birthday three weeks before our wedding, while I was at work wondering which cheese toastie I might make us for dinner.’

Myfanwy holds me closer as I try to catch my breath.

‘I just wish,’ I realize I’m shaking, ‘I just wish…’

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