Page 16 of Date with Destiny

‘What? What do you wish?’ Myfanwy asks kindly, stroking soggy, tear-soaked strands of hair away from my face.

‘I just wish Kirstie and Phil were here to cuddle me,’ I get the words out at last.

‘The TV presenters?’ She sounds confused.

‘No…’ I try to better form my thoughts into sentences. ‘They were going to be our dogs. Mine and Daniel’s. We were going to get two puppies and call them Kirstie and Phil. We thought that was really funny. Imagine running around the park throwing balls and shouting for them! KIRSTIE AND PHIL, DO YOU WANT A TREAT?’ I’m vaguely aware of more people glancing over as I shout about my imaginary dogs. ‘HEY KIRSTIE AND PHIL, DON’T POO OVER THERE! KIRSTIE AND PHIL, STOP SNIFFING THAT STRANGER’S CROTCH, IT’S RUDE!’ I pause. ‘But Daniel said we had to wait until after we got married and bought a place. I thought he was being sensible – usually I’m the boring one – but maybe he was already planning on leaving me, even then. He didn’t want to get Kirstie and Phil because he didn’t want to be with me. He didn’t want dependents tying us together.’

Toni returns to our table, and Sonali makes room for my sister as she drags her stool round to join Myfanwy and me in our tight huddle. She’s brought tissues and I wipe my face with them, trying not to think about the mascara mess my face must be right now. Sonali takes one too, dabbing at her own eyes.

‘Diane’s on her way,’ she says quietly. ‘She’s going to drive you home, Gin.’

I nod, relieved. My Aunt Diane is the parental figure I need right now. I need to be mothered, but not by my mother.

‘Do you think that man is OK?’ I ask, embarrassment finally arriving. I glance around, noticing several of the bar’s clientele are still watching the show. I nod awkwardly at a group of women nearby, who raise their glasses and nod back solemnly in solidarity. They’re not judging – they recognize dumped.

‘I’m sure he’s fine.’ Myfanwy waves her hand. ‘He was an idiot, and you’re allowed to stand up for yourself with idiots.’

‘And at least you got a free expresso martini out of it,’ Toni says cheerfully as Sonali and Myfanwy shoot her daggers.

‘That’s true,’ I say, grabbing it and downing it in one – coffee beans and all.

CHAPTER SEVEN

‘Dude, you’re a mess! This is wonderful!’ Diane tells me plainly, as I stagger out of the bar and she throws her blazer around my slumped shoulders.

‘I know,’ I begin, before frowning. ‘Wait,wonderful?’ We make our way towards her ancient Volvo and Diane opens the passenger door for me to collapse inside. It swings open with a creak, revealing rust lining the door frame. Celeste tried to buy her a new car a few years ago but Diane says she doesn’t want her sister’s money.

They get on well most of the time, I think, but they’re very different.

‘It’s a good thing!’ Diane rushes around, climbing in and starting the engine. ‘I just mean you’ve kind of been a bit of a cliché with the five stages of grief these last few weeks.’

‘A cliché?’ I cry, a little offended.

She gives me a quick smile as we pull out onto the main road. ‘Is that anger you’re feeling? Because that’s exactly whatwe need to see. You’ve been stuck in denial for so long, I’m relieved to see you’re moving out of it. Everyone gets caught up in denial – it’s very tedious. You need to pass through anger, bargaining, depression, before you can finally find some acceptance about your break-up.’

‘It wasn’t denial,’ I attempt weakly. ‘It’s just… I know he’s… I know what we had.’ I pause. ‘And I got quite angry in the bar just now!’ I consider the wailing carousel of emotions I swung through. ‘Then I started bargaining with everyone.’ I glance down at my hand. ‘I was ready to sacrifice my mother if Daniel would come back to me.’

Diane side-eyes me. ‘Like a blood sacrifice or the relationship?’

I shrug. ‘Probably both.’

‘I imagine Myfanwy was quite into that idea,’ Diane muses. ‘She’s bound to have tried a blood sacrifice during one of her witchy phasesandshe can’t stand Celeste.’

‘Well, either way, I’m basically through the five stages and out the other side already. I’m fine.’

She snorts. ‘Are you trying to rush your way through all the stages in one night? You can’t force it, dude.’

‘OK,’ I say quietly, thinking about the stage that comes after bargaining: depression. Maybe I don’t want to rush it after all – I really don’t want to deal with that bit.

We drive in silence for a minute before Diane speaks again. ‘You know, I dated a Daniel once.’ She pauses and I hold my breath, waiting for her to continue.

Diane and I don’t really talk about her love life. She’sone of the most open and loving people I know but she’s also private about certain things. I’ve always told her everything about my life, but we have more of a mentor/mentee relationship. Plus, it seems like she has everything sorted and together – why would she ever come to me for advice?

‘He was great but…’ She sighs. ‘I don’t know, they’re alot, y’know? Daniels. They need a lot of maintenance.’ She pauses before adding oh-so casually: ‘Plus, he made noises during sex that sounded like a bad Cher impression.’ She checks her wing mirror. ‘Whoaaaa,’ she says in a deep, throaty voice, flicking her long hair. ‘Whooooaaaaaaaaa.’

I cock my head. ‘Is that meant to be Cher?’

She shoots me an amused look, pulling up at traffic lights. ‘I told you it was abadimpression.’ She smiles again, but this time it’s a private, secret smile and I can see she’s in her memories. After a moment she gives herself a shake. ‘Anyway, my point is, itcanwork with a Daniel, where you’re the supporting character in the relationship. It can be lovely, looking after someone and caring for them. And you, Ginny, are a very nurturing, kind soul who is very good at looking after people. You don’t mind being the supporting character, but I’m just saying you don’thaveto be. You can be the star if you choose to be. You can evenbothbe the stars in a relationship.’

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