Page 36 of Date with Destiny

‘Maybe in a bit.’ I wipe some sweat off my forehead. ‘I’m just going to sit for a few minutes.’ He looks sad and I add by way of explanation, ‘I’m old, Matt.’

‘Ah,’ he nods, understanding now, and off he bounces towards the ladz ladz ladz.

His energy suddenly reminds me of Daniel and I’m hit with a crashing wave of sadness. It’s followed quickly by guilt. Oh crap, I shouldn’t have got so drunk, I’m going to start being boring and emotional now. Here it comes, I can’t stop it…

‘I really miss Daniel,’ I slur, taking my companions by surprise.

‘Where’s this come from?’ Myfanwy asks nicely, shuffling her chair around to me. ‘I thought you were having fun! You had your tongue in someone at last!’

‘It’s the first person I’ve kissed since Daniel!’ I say, realizing it’s true. ‘And this is ourhoneymoon. I shouldn’t be kissing young boys. I should be kissinghim.’ I swallow, knowing everyone is sick of this chat. It’s beenmonths, everyone wants me to be over him by now, but I’m not. Seeing him at Diane’s wake has thrown me back ten steps. I gulp down drunk tears as I continue, ‘In some parallel universe, I’m sitting here in this bar with him, laughing at those ladz ladz ladz over there. We’d be holding hands and reliving memories from our wedding, saying it was the best day of our lives.’ Toni strokes my shoulder nicely.

‘It’ll be OK,’ she lies kindly.

‘I just don’t know what I’m meant to do,’ I admit. ‘That tarot woman said I have to stop obsessing over the past and the future, and live in the now, but most of the time mynowfeels really rubbish.’

‘Oh, cheers!’ Myfanwy says jokily.

‘Sorry,’ I say, biting my lip. ‘I don’t mean right now-now. Obviously I’m having a lovely holiday.’

‘Why aren’t you focusing on that then?’ she asks. ‘That’s literally what living in the moment means. Enjoy where you are right here and right now. You’re in a bar, having fun, snogging randoms like this is 2012.’ Myfanwy pauses, something occurring to her. ‘I’ve got an idea to distract you!’ she says brightly. ‘Maybe we should do a Ouija board! See if the spirit world can give us any answers.’

‘Er, I don’t think…’ I begin and Toni looks between us, a little panicky.

‘Shawn says Ouija boards are stupid and evil,’ she says nervously.

I sit up straighter. I definitely don’t want to be on the same side of history as Shawn. ‘I think it’s a great idea,’ I say forcefully. ‘Let’s do it, Myfe!’

She goes to retrieve a pen and paper from the bar, while I consider what I should ask the spirit realm. What do I want? What do I want and what do Ineed?

I want to marry Daniel.

Scrap that.

I want to meet mysoulmate, like the predictions promised. And if that happens to be Daniel, so be it.

What else?

I want to make Celeste’s Stones even more amazing. I’ve been thinking about a concept recently that I really want to bring in as a new in-store service. I’d be anengagement concierge, specifically helping people, not just with their rings, but with their proposals. It would be a really hands-on benefit to visiting the store. From what I’ve seen, people increasingly want that kind of next-level personal service.

I want to stop being a pushover. I want to be strong and brave, especially with Celeste. I want to be able to tell her what I really think and have her see me as an equal, instead of a silly little child. I have been too weak for too long. And I can’t blame what’s happened these last few months because I’ve been a coward my whole life. Look at what happened with Flo Williams back at school.

Myfanwy returns with paper and begins sketching, writing out yes and no at the top, adding letters and numbers below. ‘Here we go,’ she pronounces, flourishing the makeshift board. She places a small glass in the centre and instructs us to place two fingers each on the glass.

‘Helloooooo, spirits!’ Myfanwy says in a spooky voice. ‘Can you hear us?’

Nothing happens and we all giggle.

‘Maybe they’re not here?’ Toni says, nose crinkling. ‘This Irish pub in Madeira might not appeal to ghosts.’

‘Should we ask a question?’ I whisper nervously.

‘Erm,’ Myfanwy considers this. ‘Does Sonali miss me?’ she asks with delight. The glass jerks, wrinkling the thin paper and stopping awkwardly.

‘Oh my god!’ Toni breathes, as we all regard each other with wide eyes.

‘You moved it,’ I accuse Myfanwy and she shakes her head.

‘I didn’t, I promise!’

---