Page 48 of Date with Destiny

—to interpret the stars, allowing us to see the vibration you personally exude.

This can only be done authentically by people with experience and the appropriate certification.

‘I wonder how easy it is to get certified,’ I comment quietly taking in the next line.

Many people confuse birth charts with fortune telling, but it’s very much not the same thing.

Oh, what? I wanted some more cool psychic stuff! If this website and thebirth charthad come up with six predictions that were destined to happen during my thirty-second year, Idefinitelywould’ve believed in them.

Myfanwy taps past the intro to the next page, where there are a series of questions.

‘So, what day and time were you born?’

I glance at her, hurt. ‘You don’t know my birthday?’

She rolls her eyes. ‘I’m just reading out what it says. I know it’s… er, 22nd June?’ She side-eyes Sonali, who nods discreetly.

‘I was born at 6.02am,’ I tell her proudly. I know this fact because Celeste likes to regale strangers with tales of arriving at the hospital just before six in the morning after only half an hour of labour – with my head literally crowning. The nurse had to cup Celeste’s vulva, protecting my eager, slimy scalp, as they ran her down to a delivery room. I slithered out four minutes later.

Myfanwy scrolls down to more questions.

‘Where were you born? And what’s your relationship status?’

‘Why does it need to know that?’ I frown, adding dryly, ‘Is there arecently jiltedbox to tick?’

‘Do you think you need to have been specifically left at the altar to be classed as jilted?’ Sonali muses.

‘Nah,’ Myfanwy answers. ‘I’m pretty sure it just means suddenly rejected or cast off. Ginny was definitely discarded, ditched, dumped and deserted. She wasjilted.’

‘Amazing alliteration!’ Sonali says admiringly.

‘Thanks ever so, both of you,’ I nod as Myfanwy continues with her questions.

‘What is your favourite activity?’

‘Is this just market research?’ I squint at the screen, tapping my top choice:reading a book.

‘Which of the four elements match your personality?’

Fire       Water       Air       Earth

‘Shouldn’t they be tellingmethat?’ I ask Myfanwy, bafflement creeping in. She cocks her head, considering it. ‘I haven’t got the first idea.’

‘Well, you’re a Cancer – just – so you’re a water sign. Acardinalwater sign. You’re represented by a crab.’

‘So, I should put water?’ I say anxiously, looking at Sonali for help. ‘Am I watery?’

‘Hmm, I don’t know, you don’t cry that much?’ she says slowly, sounding as confused as me. ‘And I’ve never thought of you as particularly sweaty. Do you take many baths?’

‘I’m not that into baths,’ I confess, feeling like I’m betraying a basic tenet of womanhood. We all like hot baths while eating yoghurt, right? I brighten, ‘Oh, but I do likedrinkingwater.’

‘I think we might be losing focus…’ Myfanwy sounds irritated.

‘Sorry,’ I shake my head. ‘OK, shall we pick water? I don’t think I relate much to earth, air or fire.’ I pause. ‘Though, I do like air quite a lot? I couldn’t do much without it, couldI? And I don’t like fires that burn down rainforests, but Idoenjoy candles.’

Myfanwy loses patience. ‘I’ve put water.’ Her mouse hovers over the next confusing question.

Which signs do you get along with best? Choose only two options.

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