Page 58 of Date with Destiny

OK, so I moan about my mother a lot – a lot a lot – but there are some moments when having her around is oh-so useful.

‘Beautiful,’ I smile at Myfanwy. ‘Thanks.’

Tonight, Toni and Shawn are throwing a Christmas party and we were told to dress up for the event in South London. I’m wearing the most incredible outfit, courtesy of Celeste’s wardrobe. She gets sent so many free clothes, she barely even knows where to start with it all, and I found this dark blue jumpsuit with a feather trim around the sleeves. It’s possibly totally absurd, but I looked at my reflection and felt absolutely gorgeous for the first time in ages.

‘And what about Mikey?’ Myfanwy asks. ‘Is he coming?’

I look at my nails, freshly painted, already smudged and ruined. ‘I think so. He said he’d definitely try to make it.’ Myfanwy shakes her head. ‘You two are really taking your time. You had such mad chemistry at Toni’s birthday! But you haven’t seen each other since. What gives, Gin? You urgently need a shag and he is perfect shag material.’

‘Well, to be fair, he was away for a bit!’ I explain, feeling a bit defensive. ‘And with everything changing at the store, it’s been really busy with work. We are opening a new shop in a couple of weeks,’ I remind her. ‘But we’ve been texting each other a lot. It’s been very flirty.’

‘You know,’ she says dryly, ‘a shag takes, what, like, an hour?’

I snort. ‘Lesbian privilege. I think you mean, like, fifteen minutes, tops.’

She laughs. ‘OK, fine but either way, you could’ve sorted this if you really wanted to.’

‘I do really want to!’ I insist. ‘You don’t know what it’s like living in Celeste’s house. She’s been even more of a nightmare than usual, constantly asking what I’m doing and where I’m going.’

Myfanwy sighs. ‘Just tell her you’re staying at mine for the night.’

I raise an eyebrow. ‘You haven’t seen her lately. She’ll want an itemized breakdown of our plan for the evening: what we’re doing, where we’re going and what time we’ll be in bed. I wouldn’t be surprised if she actually calls you to check up on me and confirm the plan.’

Myfanwy shakes her head in disgust. ‘You really need to get out of there. She’s out of control.’

‘I know,’ I give a slight nod, knowing I have limited options. It makes me think again of that option I might have. With Daniel. I sigh, picturing his face and thinking of his last text about meeting up. The text I decided to treatas maturely as possible, by completely ignoring it. ‘And of course,’ I add, thinking out loud, ‘I still have to figure out what to do about Daniel.’

My heart thumps in my chest as I realize what I’ve said. I still haven’t told Myfanwy anything about the situation. She turns to me, her brow furrowed, eyes narrowed.

‘What do you mean? What do you have to figure out about Daniel?’

I stare down at my lap. ‘He turned up at the house.’

‘Hewhat?’ Her mouth drops partway open. ‘Celeste’s house? When? Oh my god, what did hesay?’ She leans closer, Project Proposal wholly forgotten.

I take a deep breath. ‘It was right after we got back from Madeira. Like a week later,’ I admit, shamefaced. ‘And I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything to you about it. It was, like,toobig, y’know? I didn’t know what to think and I needed to process it for a bit before I talked about it out loud.’

She nods slowly. ‘OK, I understand,’ she says, but I can see she is a little hurt. ‘So? What did he say? Did he finally say sorry?’

‘Yes,’ I confirm, remembering his apology and the way he looked at me. ‘And he hinted that maybe…’

‘Oh my god,’ she breathes, waiting for me to continue, but I can’t. ‘You think he wants to get back together?’

I nod slowly. ‘I think so. Or maybe not, I don’t know! He keeps messaging about wanting to see me and talk. I don’t know what to think.’

Her eyes are wide. ‘Wow,’ she says in a whisper. ‘This ishuge.’ She gives the moment time to settle before continuing. ‘But how did you feel when you saw him? How do you feelnow? Are you angry or sad?’

I throw my hands up with exasperation. ‘I honestly don’t know! Both? Neither? One minute I think I hate him and will never forgive him; the next, I am physically aching for him. I want to cry with how much I still miss him and our life together. I know it’s been six months, and I feel like I’m supposed to be totally over him by now, but I was so happy with Daniel, and I do still love him.’ I sigh. ‘But would I ever be able to trust him again? Would I ever be able to believe he wasn’t going to do that to me again? Every time he went out or had a weekend away with work or friends, would I be thinking that he isn’t coming back?’

Myfanwy doesn’t answer and we fall silent.

At last I speak again. ‘I just wish I had more answers. I wish I knew if those predictions were real and what they meant.’

‘Of course they’re real,’ she frowns. ‘And at least you’ve clearly had all your losses.’ She ticks them off with her fingers. ‘A heartbreak with Daniel, the death of your Aunt Diane, and losing your flat.’ She looks up, smiling at me widely as if this is all good. ‘Yay! So it’s all gains from here on out!’

‘And I’ve had my life-changing honeymoon trip,’ I remind her. ‘So it’s just the last two left: someone I lost and my soulmate.’ I hesitate. ‘Do you think Mikey is the someone I thought lost? Or maybe he’s my soulmate?’

Myfanwy sighs. ‘It would really help if you could remember the fortune teller’s wording. Did she say you’llmeetyoursoulmate orfindyour soulmate?’ She raises her eyebrows. ‘Like, if it’smeetwe know that it probably isn’t Mikey or Dan, because you already met. Butfindcould mean that you already know them.’

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