Page 67 of Date with Destiny

‘I really don’t know.’ I feel intensely sad suddenly. I think about our conversation last night. Will she remember what she said about being asexual? Should I bring it up with her or let her come to me when she’s ready? ‘I thought Gen Z were all supposed to be badasses who take no shit and know exactly who they are. But Tone seems to be quite insecure and unsure about everything. She can do so much better than Shawn.’

‘Never mind doing better!’ Sonali raises her voice, outraged. ‘She’s in her early twenties! She should be single AF and out there having loads of fun and random sex.’

‘Hold on,’ I whisper, standing up and reaching for my dressing gown. I press my ear to the wall, listening for any noise. ‘It’s OK, I’m pretty sure she stayed at his.’

We fall silent, considering our collective baby sister.

‘You know she mentioned the possibility of them getting engaged,’ I say in a quiet voice. ‘On the honeymoon trip.’ Myfanwy nods slowly as Sonali looks aghast.

‘She can’t!’ she wails as Myfanwy shakes her head in agreement.

‘I think you should talk to her about him,’ she tells me and I nod. I’d come to the same conclusion. Usually my rule is never to get involved in other people’s relationships but I honestly can’t believe she’s happy with Shawn.

‘I think I have to,’ I swallow, before looking up. ‘Unless one of you wants to do it for me?’ I smile and they both laugh scornfully. Myfanwy reaches across me for my phone on the bedside table.

‘Message her now before you lose your nerve.’

‘I don’t have any nerve!’ I cry, horrified by this suggestion. ‘And I don’t know what to say! I’m not ready.’

Myfanwy rolls her eyes. ‘Just say you need to talk.’

Sighing, I accept my phone and begin typing.

Hey Tone, can we talk?

Written down, it is too stark. Too direct. I try something else.

Hey love, how are you feeling this morning? Thank you guys so much for putting on such a fun night. I hear Shawn and Mikey had a falling out? Maybe we should have a chat about it if you’re around in the next couple of days? Xxxxxx

I don’t press send, instead throwing my phone on the bed in frustration. ‘Ughhh, I don’t think I can do it!’ I say in despair. ‘It’s too awkward and she’s going to be so annoyed about me interfering.’

Myfanwy gently retrieves my phone from a squashed pillow. ‘I know you don’t like confrontation, Gin,’ she says gently. ‘But this is really important. Toni is important to all of us and we can’t just do nothing. She might marry this idiot!’

‘It’s funny, isn’t it,’ Sonali begins. ‘I feel like we all watched her grow up. She was so young when we first met her.’

‘She must’ve been – what? – like eight? Nine?’ Myfanwy chips in affectionately. ‘So young.’

‘She was really mature and serious, even then,’ I say fondly. ‘Not like me at that age. I was a pathetic, snivelling little idiot, so scared of everyone around me. So scared of being noticed but also so horrified no one ever did. I have a lot of regrets about the way I acted back then.’

‘God, school was just a nightmare for everyone, wasn’t it?’ Sonali remarks thoughtfully.

‘Secondary school was even worse,’ I comment, thinking again about that miserable time. ‘I was so relieved to get to university and meet you lot. Although, in hindsight, eighteen was really young, too! We felt like grown-ups, but from here, it feels like we were still babies. We knew nothing at all.’

Myfanwy smiles. ‘I’m not sure we know anything now, in our thirties.’

‘True,’ I grin back. ‘But we’ve reached an age where we have to at least pretend.’

Sonali nods. ‘I may not know much, but I feel pretty confident that Toni’s dating a wrong ’un. And we have to at least try to make her see that.’

‘Poor Mikey,’ Myfanwy sighs. ‘He brought us such a fun party game.’

‘You mean the mushrooms?’ I confirm and she nods.

‘And then he got viciously attacked by an absolute dickhead.’

‘I’ll message him later and see if he’s OK,’ I reassure her.

‘Never mind messaginghim,’ Sonali scolds. ‘Message Toni. We have to look after our little sister.’

---