Page 74 of Date with Destiny

‘I know.’ She reaches out a hand that looks solid and I want so badly to take it but I still can’t move. ‘But think about it. You were about to marry Daniel, which you now realize would’ve been a mistake. You wouldn’t have been happy with him in the end. Even the situation with Mikey was helpful. You got to put that relationship to bed, without taking him to bed – and realize he wasn’t a good guy. And I think having to move in here, with Celeste, might be the universe trying to force you to confront your issues with her.’

‘What about Myfanwy?’ I whine. ‘Why did I need her to have a go at me like that?’

Diane sighs. ‘Wow, you really are feeling sorry for yourself.’ She tuts. ‘Myfanwy loves you dearly, and she wants the best for you. That’s all her outburst was about. She has been your shield from the real world a lot over the years, and she’s probably been hoping you would build one of your own.’

‘Oh,’ I say, trying not to cry. I look at her, wondering if I’ll ever see her again. ‘But what about losing you? That wasn’t important, that was just horrible.’

She laughs. ‘That’s true. But it’s also just life. Things happen and you’re allowed to be sad about them, but you can’t let it dictate what happens next. You get to make choices – not about everything, it’s true. But you can choose how you react to things, you canchooseto be brave andstrong.’ She pauses. ‘And being strong doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help, by the way. Oftentimes asking for help is the biggest show of bravery there is. Nobody should have to go through difficult times alone, if they don’t want to. And I know it feels like it right now, but you’re not alone.’ I nod, looking down as she continues, ‘In some ways I think losing me might’ve been necessary for you. If Myfanwy has been your shield in life, I was Celeste’s. I kept her grounded in some ways, and protected you and Toni from the worst of her impulses.’

‘She’s been so much worse since you’ve been gone,’ I nod emphatically.

‘I know,’ she grimaces apologetically. ‘But you’re a grown-up, Gin. You can tell her to back off. You can tell her she’s wrong. You can even tell her to fuck off occasionally.’ She grins mischievously, ‘I certainly did.’ She shuffles closer and the duvet lightly bounces and musses around her. ‘You have to learn to stand up for yourself, my love. Focus on what makesyouhappy. Your friends, your work, Toni. It’s time to stop obsessing over those predictions, especially that last one. A soulmate can be anything you want it to be.’ She pauses, leaning in closer so I can see the pores on her nose and the mole on her cheek. ‘Ginny, this will come as a shock to someone brought up and brainwashed by Celeste Bretherton, but I’m telling you, you can be your own soulmate.’

She takes my hand and I can feel the warmth of her fingers as she intertwines them with mine.

‘And Merry Christmas,’ she says lightly.

I snort, realizing it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow. ‘Oh yeah! And there’s a ghost in my bedroom. I guess that makes thisA Christmas Carol?’

‘Which would make you Ebenezer Scrooge?’ she enquires, eyes wide.

We both laugh, still holding hands. I close my eyes for a minute, thinking about what she’s said – all that Diane wisdom and kindness – and after a few seconds, I fall asleep. But even asleep, I can still feel the weight of her hand on mine.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

I’m crying when I wake up and my hand feels cold. I lie there in my bed for a few minutes, trying to make sense of everything. It all felt so vivid and real, was that really Diane? Or, more likely, am I going mad?

I head downstairs to make myself a coffee. I feel groggy and weird. Confused and low as I try to process the last few days. I put the kettle on and glance out of the window.

It’s her. That woman. She’s standing on the other side of our fence like she always does, looking up at the house. Looking up at my bedroom window. At the room she used to visit and play in when we were kids.

It’sher, I know it’s her. It’s prediction number five: my Ghost of Christmas Past.

Something in me loosens and I find myself running for the front door. I’m inTwilightpyjamas, mug still in hand, but I don’t care.

‘Flo?’ I shout as I fling the door open. I run towards the woman, ‘FLO?’

She turns away, walking fast in the opposite direction, but I’m faster. ‘FLO WILLIAMS?’ I shout again. ‘Don’t go! I want to talk. Please can we talk?’

I catch up with her breathlessly and she turns around, surprise all over her face. She’s walking a dog, I realize.

‘Er, hi?’ she says, part scared, part confused. ‘Were you shouting at me? Did you say Flo? I’m not Flo, sorry. My name’s Sonia Adam-Cash, I live round the corner.’

‘God, sorry, I…’ I fumble my words and glance down at the dog again. ‘But I’ve seen you outside my house.’ I wave at the building behind me. ‘So many times now! Just standing there, looking in. I thought you were… I thought you were my old friend Flo Williams…’

I’m aware I sound like I’ve completely lost it.

The woman grimaces. ‘Um, sorry.’ She gestures at her dog. ‘I walk Humphrey here along this road every day. He likes to poo on the pavement right there.’ She points at the spot outside our house. The spot where she’s always standing.

‘But you…’ I pull out my trump card. ‘I’ve seen you duck down when I look out. Trying to hide!’

She looks at me askance. ‘I mean, I’ve nevertried to hide. I guess what you were seeing was me picking up the poo. I promise, I wasn’t looking in your house, I was just daydreaming while he pooed. He’s quite old and slow with his constitutionals these days.’ She shrugs as Humphrey the dog looks up at me, panting happily, tongue out.

Oh god. I could never see her bottom half because the fence blocked it. I never saw the dog pooing, just awoman – who actually doesn’t look familiar at all up close – standing there outside my house for a few minutes every day.

‘Um, I… I’m sorry.’ I swallow hard, very aware of my pyjamas. What must she think? This mad woman accosting her like this about her daily dog walk. ‘I’m really sorry.’ I start to babble, wanting her to understand, needing to explain. ‘I got dumped by my fiancé this year, and then my aunt died and I lost my flat.’ I glance back at the house. ‘I had to move in with my mum who is a total nightmare. Then I got rejected by this guy who looks like a film star.’ I swallow. ‘Or maybe a TV star, Toni still can’t remember. Then I thought I’d met my soulmate in an ex and it turned out he was a total knobhead cheater who had a girlfriend.’ The woman’s eyes get wider and she’s staring at me bug-eyed. Humphrey looks more sympathetic and I fight the urge to throw myself onto him for a cuddle. ‘And now it looks like my ex-fiancé wants to get back together but I’ve realized I don’t love him anymore and I don’t know how to tell him that after five years together. And now I’ve fallen out with my best friend, too.’ The lump in my throat threatens to turn into hot tears. ‘She says I’m letting all this stuff happentome and not taking any ownership. She thinks I need to stand up for myself and tell people off when they hurt me, and I know she’s right. My aunt – the dead one – told me so last night. And then I thought my old best friend, Flo – myfirstbest friend – was here and my life was literallyA Christmas Carol.’ I wave in the woman’s direction. ‘I’ve had so many signs from the universe that I should try and make up with her – I’ve metso many people called Williams, or variations of it, especially this year, and I thought maybe she was coming here to my childhood home, trying to work up the courage to knock and see me. I thought she wanted to be friends again and forgive me, but you’re a stranger and I’m very clearly freaking you out. But you don’t get it – it’s these six predictions I got when I was sixteen and they’ve ruined my life.’

I finish abruptly and she gapes for a second, before finally speaking, ‘Er, yeah, getting dumped is rough,’ she says at last and I try not to laugh at the one thing she’s pulled out of all of that nonsense.

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