Page 84 of Date with Destiny

‘This is… so…much,’ I say quietly.

Zach wanted to go out with me.

‘But he kept rejecting you,’ Myfanwy frowns. ‘What the hell is up with that?’

I stand up, surprising Myfanwy and Toni. I have to find Zach. I think I’m about to humiliate myself with him for a third time but I don’t care. I’m brave now and I need to understand what happened. I need to know why he changed his mind and what it means. I want to know what I did that so repulsed him.

I spot him by the bar and stalk over.

‘Hello, you,’ he greets me with a smile before catching my expression. ‘Er, are you OK?’

‘Can I talk to you?’ I am determined, taking him by the arm and leading him out into the hallway away from the music. Once we’re alone, I stare him down, face-to-face, no escape. After a few seconds, I speak. ‘Toni just told me about the note.’

Confusion clouds his face, ‘The note…?’ What I mean suddenly hits him and he looks away, reddening. ‘Oh,’ he adds in a low voice. ‘That must be confusing after all this time.’

‘What happened?’ I ask, feeling helpless. ‘What did I do wrong?’

He takes a deep breath. ‘OK,’ he begins, faltering over his words. ‘OK, right, I should explain. You should know. The truth is,’ his turn to swallow hard, ‘Gin, we know each other.’What.He takes in my blank expression and nods. ‘I mean, we knew each other from… before. And I know youdon’t remember. I didn’t remember at first either. It only clicked when we were leaving after that very first meeting.’

‘How?’ I interrupt urgently. ‘What are you talking about? When… who… what?’

‘Primary school,’ he says simply, breathing in deeply. ‘I was a couple of years above you. But you were best friends with my little sister…’

It all floods back. Flo. Florence Williams. She had a big brother, of course she did. Not that I ever dared look him in the face back then; I was too shy. No wonder I didn’t recognize Zach.

He continues, ‘As I was leaving the store, just after giving your sister that note, you told me your real name was Jenny, and that your school friend Flo was the only person who called you that. It clicked. Jenny Bretherton. My little sister’s best friend. The one who… well.’ He finishes lamely and we both stare down.

I understand now.

No wonder.

Florence and I were best friends in Year Four, Five and Six at primary school. But when we went to secondary school it all changed. We met a new girl, Mindy, who joined our twosome with enthusiasm. She had so much more confidence than either of us and soon the trio had a leader. But after a few months, things changed again. She kept trying to separate us, always trying to keep us apart. She ‘forgot’ to invite Flo to things, she told me secrets I wasn’t allowed to share with my best friend. She was mean about Flo and I swallowed hardand nodded. And when Flo got upset – when she stood up for herself – Mindy turned on her. And I was too pathetic and cowardly to say a word. I didn’t want Mindy to start on me, too, so I just started avoiding poor Flo. I hid from them both, ignoring Flo’s phone calls and messages while Mindy’s bullying got worse and worse. Eventually Flo’s parents moved her and her brother away and I never heard from her again. I never made any other friends at school and spent my days alone, hiding from Mindy and desperately wishing I could just grow up and escape. I’ve felt unbelievably awful about it ever since.

‘But you’reWalliams, with an a,’ I say desperately. ‘Flo was just a normal Williams, wasn’t she?’

Zach sighs. ‘It’s just branding. Williams is too easy to lose on Google. So I decided to be Walliams’ Custom Designs. It worked for David Walliams, right?’

‘Was he a Williams first then?’ I’m aware this is off topic.

He nods slowly. ‘To be honest, I thought you’d have seen my real name spelled on my invoices.’

‘I never looked at them,’ I say vaguely. ‘I just forwarded them to the accountant.’

‘Right,’ he replies quietly and we share another long silence. ‘Flo was so devastated by what happened back then,’ he begins and I nod. ‘I knew immediately that there was no way I could date you. Not ever. She’d never forgive me.’ He looks sad. ‘And of course, I would’ve told you who I was then, but you got that awful call about your aunt and I had to get you guys to the hospital.’ He pauses. ‘I nearly told youagain, that day we visited the new store and were dancing to Girls Aloud.’ He looks down at his right wrist. There are letters there he didn’t mention that day we talked about the rest of his tattoos. One of them is F, I now realize. He continues, ‘I used to dance with Flo to that same song.’ Ah. So that weird moment between us wasn’t about Cheryl Cole getting cheated on, it was about Flo.

‘I get it, and I’m so sorry,’ I breathe, trying to take all of this in as moments from the last six months all fall into place. ‘God, you must hate me. I think about what happened with Flo a lot. It’s been a huge regret for me, my entire adult life. Flo was my only friend back then and I betrayed her. I let her down. I’ve always felt terrible and wondered where she ended up.’ I pause anxiously, remembering Sonia, the dog walker I accosted not so long ago. ‘How is she?’ I continue carefully. ‘Is Flo OK?’

‘She is,’ he nods carefully. ‘She’s doing great. She’s a doctor, actually. I don’t see a lot of her, she’s so busy, but she’s happy.’

‘She’s really OK?’ My body floods with relief.

‘That school we moved to was brilliant,’ he half smiles. ‘No psycho Mindy types! She made friends, did well in her exams. She’s married now, two kids.’

‘That’s so good to hear,’ I say tearfully.

‘And I also realized that you were, like, eleven, twelve years old back then!’ he laughs. ‘You were just a kid; I can’t blame you for what those bullies did to my sister.’

‘Youcanblame me for abandoning my friend though,’ Ireply, hanging my head. ‘I was such a coward. I was so scared of Mindy.’ I gulp. ‘I ran away and hid from her – and from Flo. I’m really ashamed of it. Honestly, I regret it so much.’ I pause, looking around the bare hallway. ‘We talk about abusive, controlling relationships in adults, but I sometimes think the way Mindy manipulated us…’ I shrug. ‘I don’t know.’ I look up, adding hastily, ‘And I’m not trying to shift the blame. I wasawful. I can’t believe the way I treated Flo. The truth is, I’ve been a coward my whole adult life. I’ve never stood up to people the way I should.’ I meet his gaze. ‘But I’m working on it.’

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