Page 87 of Date with Destiny

Myfanwy watches me carefully. ‘What about Zach?’

I smile, feeling clear about him for the first time since we met. ‘We’re just mates. Honestly, Myfe. We talked things through and I’ll tell you all about it another time, but we really are just friends. I’m happy about it, too.’

Myfanwy raises her eyebrows. ‘OK.’ She pauses. ‘You better get out there then.’

Daniel has his back to me as I make a slow approach, standing at the bar, talking to the now-attentive bartender.

I know he will be ordering a lager, even though he prefers a white wine spritzer. He is afraid of men thinking he is not like them. That he is too flamboyant and energetic for other men. It always made me sad, seeing the way he would tamp down his boyish girlishness when he was around his friends.

Daniel turns and I am surprised to see that I’m wrong. He is holding a white wine spritzer after all.

God, maybe he really has changed.

‘Ginny!’ His joy at seeing me is genuine and with one arm he gathers me up in a hug. I find my face next to the wine, the smell making me want one.

‘Hi Daniel,’ I say happily. ‘It’s really good to see you.’ I am surprised again to find that I mean it. I thought I’d have a strange and confusing set of feelings when I next saw him.

But it is only one feeling, a very straightforward feeling, and I identify it easily.

‘You too,’ he beams, waving back towards the bar. ‘Can I get you a drink?’ I nod and we stand side by side as I order, ‘What he’s having.’

‘You’ll never believe it,’ I say, turning to him. ‘Shawn did a big announcement thingy – him and Toni are moving in together!’

‘Wow.’ Daniel’s eyes widen. ‘How do you feel about that?’

‘Well,’ I say carefully, ignoring the obvious shock and confusion. ‘She seems very happy so we’re all happyforher.’

‘Got it,’ he nods, message received. He looks down, acknowledging my dress and smiles widely. ‘You look great, Gin! Is that another special from Celeste’s wardrobe?’

‘It never even made it as far as the wardrobe,’ I confide. ‘It came straight from the Evri delivery driver to my body. It may be hell most of the time, but there are occasional benefits to being a 32-year-old woman living with her mother.’

He nods, looking a little shamefaced. After all, he is the reason I’m there.

But I find I don’t mind – I don’t blame him.

I’ve forgiven him, I realize. Properly this time.

I don’t think I could feel the way I’m feeling towards him now if I hadn’t fully let it go.

‘Shall we dance?’ I smile, grabbing his hand and leading him towards the dancefloor.

He obligingly starts bouncing around to the Taylor Swift song blasting over the speakers. I forgot what an adorably goofy dancer he is. It was always another thing he worried about doing in public, but he shows no signs of embarrassment or reticence now. We make eye contact as he does the robot dance, and both burst out laughing.

As the song segues smoothly from one to another, he leans a little closer, still dance-bouncing.

‘Hey, I’m sorry about everything that’s happened these last nine months,’ he yells in the direction of my ear. I wave the apology away.

‘Don’t worry about it,’ I say dismissively. He stops bouncing, suddenly looking very serious. He regards me for a moment and then grabs my hand, leading me away from the dancing to some chairs in a quieter corner. He sits me down and takes a seat opposite, still giving me the same serious look.

Oh god, he’s going to say it. We’re finally going to have The Chat.

And I’m ready now. I know what I need to say.

‘You have to stop dismissing my apology,’ he begins, eyebrows knitted together. ‘You’ve done it every time I’ve said sorry and I need you to really hear me.’

I mirror his serious expression. ‘But I already accepted your apology that first day you came to see me – months ago, when you showed up at my mum’s house out of nowhere. You said sorry and I said it was OK.’

He shakes his head. ‘I know you did, and I was so relieved at first. But it took me about four seconds to realize you obviously didn’t mean it.’ He sounds frustrated. ‘I could see you were doing your usual thing of letting me off the hook.’ He pauses. ‘You forget Iknowyou. You were always forgiving me too easily when I didn’t deserve it.’ He takes a deep shuddery breath. ‘I did something unforgivably awful to you. The way I ended things… the way I just left without a word. That was the lowest I’ve ever sunk. It was the worst thing I’ve maybe ever done to another person, and then to cut you off with barely a word…’ He stops, his breathing ragged as he tries to keep it together. ‘And todo it toyouof all people…’ He looks down at his lap and I wait patiently for him to get his emotions in check. ‘I would understand if you could never forgive me but I want you toreally hearhow sorry I am and how terrible I’ve felt. I’ve talked to my friends a lot in the last few months and a couple of the best of them gave me a proper reality check. I heard some home truths about my immaturity level. I’ve spent a lot of my adult life being incredibly selfish and blinkered. I put myself first all the time, always looking for the next big adventure without considering you in any of it. It was always about me and I can see that now. I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself and trying to be better. Honestly, I barely recognize that awful childish idiot guy from last June who did that terrible thing to you.’ He looks at me, adding quickly, ‘Not that I’m trying to shift the blame! I deserve every bit of it and if you never wanted to see me again, I’d more than get it.’

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