Page 95 of Date with Destiny

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

She’s gone from the doorway before we can say anything.

I cower further into Toni’s bed as we listen to Celeste stomp furiously down the stairs. Shit, shit, shit. I search for a way to fix things. And then I stop myself.

Why is she so angry? Because Toni wants to break up with Shawn? And I encouraged that? Something in me snaps. I’ve had enough.

She has no right to tell us who we can or can’t date. She has no right to scare Toni into staying in a rubbish relationship with an idiot. How dare she? She can’t control us anymore. We’readults.

I turn to Toni, ‘Don’t let that reaction get to you, Tone. You’re making the right decision.’ I fix her with a deathly, determined stare. ‘Dump Shawn,’ I say sternly. ‘Today. Immediately. And don’t be swayed when he tries to talk you out of it. You said it yourself, he doesn’t listen, somakehim listen. Be happy again, be single.’

Quaking a little, she nods. Then, like she’s taking herself inhand, she stops looking frightened, adopting my same determined expression, and nods again much more convincingly.

I kiss her on the cheek. ‘I’m going to confront our mother,’ I tell her, feeling a thrill in my stomach of terror, excitement and – a new one – bravery.

‘Good luck,’ she whispers in awe.

I follow Celeste down the stairs, stomping down each step in much the same overly loud, angry way.

I find her in the kitchen, slamming things out of the dishwasher in a fury.

‘What was that?’ I demand, voice loud and strong.

She spins around, zeroing her terrifying laser eyes on me. ‘You’ve told her to dump Shawn!’ she half yells, waving her hand in the direction of the stairs. ‘This is her chance for real happiness and you’re sabotaging it! You know she listens to you – she looks up to you, she always has – and you’re encouraging her to make the biggest mistake of her life!’ She pauses angrily. ‘Why can’t you let her be happy?’

The snap I felt upstairs goes again, but this time it’s more like a large break. I amlivid. I want happiness for my sister and everyone I love more than anything. Howdareshe say I’m trying to hurt Toni!

‘How can you say that?’ I shout and she looks winded. I’ve never shouted at my mother before. I’ve never done much more than minimal sulking around her. ‘I love Toni and I’m trying to makesureshe’s happy. That moron Shawn isn’t making her happy – he wasnevergoing to make her happy.’

‘She’ll be much happier with him than on her own,’Celeste yells back. ‘Look at you! You’re miserable single! And you’ve sabotaged your chance to get back with Daniel after everything I did to help—’ She stops, looking caught out.

I screw up my face, breathing hard. ‘What did you do?’

‘I just got an obstacle out of the way,’ she says almost nonchalantly.

My confusion wins over my fury. ‘What obstacle – what are you talking about?’

‘Zach,’ she shrugs. ‘After Toni told me about the note, I realized that’s what was stopping you reuniting with Daniel and beinghappy. So I let him go.’ She continues breezily. ‘It was a shame because he was bringing in a lot of custom and everyone seemed very pleased. But we can get someone else when everything with the expansion settles down.’

I feel white-hot spikes of rage needling me. She’s been manipulating me? Messing with Zach’s career?

‘You sacked Zach because of me?’ My voice is even but the fury is evident because Celeste almost looks a little afraid.

‘It was for your own good, darling,’ she swallows. ‘It was clear Daniel wanted to make a go of it after he turned up here out of the blue, and then showing up at Toni’s Christmas party like that! You just needed that push – you needed me to clear the path of weeds for you. And if you weren’t so obstinate, you’d be back together by now, with your life back on track.’

There is so much wrong with this, I don’t know where to start.

‘I was never getting back with Daniel!’ I explode. ‘Andyou had no right doing that to Zach! Howdareyou interfere with my life like this? How DARE you?’ I try to calm down and then think better of it. ‘For the record,Celeste, Daniel didn’t want to get back with me, I didn’t want to get back with him, and Zach was – is – my friend. That’s all there is to it. And I amhappyon my own. Yes, it took me a while because break-ups are hard, but Ilikebeing single. These last few months have been great – I like discovering who I am and being my own person. And Toni will, too.’ I inhale a big raggedy breath. ‘But you don’t really care about our happiness, do you, Celeste? As long as we’re going along with what you want us to do. As long as you can control us both. All you want is for us both to fit intoyourdefinition of happy!’ I amsteaming. I can’t remember ever being this angry. ‘We’re both grown-ups and yes, we’re living in your house, but that doesn’t mean you get to make decisions for us or that you get to know every single thing about our lives. You don’t get to control us!’ I run out of things to shout, breathing hard.

Celeste says nothing, too stunned to reply.

After a moment, her shoulders slump and she pulls out a chair to sit at the table.

I remain standing, panting as the anger drains out of me. Eventually I sit down beside her. I am surprised to find that I don’t feel guilty. I’m glad I said all of that.

After a few minutes, she speaks, in a quiet voice. ‘You’re right,’ she acknowledges. ‘I know I’m too overbearing and controlling sometimes. Diane used to say the same thing.’ She falters, trying to keep a lid on her emotions. ‘I’m just so…lonelyand I don’t want that for you two. I don’t want you to be on your own and frightened like I am. I lash out, I know, but it’s because I want the best possible lives for you.’ She takes a deep breath. ‘I did the wrong thing with Zach. And I’ve done the wrong thing by you both.’ She smiles a wobbly, watery smile at me. ‘I’m glad you’re stronger than me.’

I nod, understanding. ‘Have you ever thought about maybe… talking to someone?’ I suggest and she barks out a laugh.

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