Page 105 of Escape for Christmas

Slowly she nodded her head. ‘You’re in love with Sophie, aren’t you?’

He paused for a little breath, then said, ‘I tried not to be. I wasn’t until after we split up that it happened. A long time after we split up.’

‘I know. I didn’t want to accept it at first, but it’s become pretty obvious over the past few days. Does she know?’

‘Actually, no. She thought I was a bastard, and now she thinks – well, I’m not sure she knows what to think of me.’

Tegan shook her head and gave a small, sad smile. ‘You couldn’t be a bastard if you tried.’

Brody felt choked with emotion. ‘Thanks. I wouldn’t be giving myself any gold stars, though. I seem to have made a bloody mess of everything lately.’

She hugged her knees, staring at the duvet. With his heart in his mouth, Brody waited for her to burst into tears or start an angry row.

‘I think …’ Tegan began, still not looking at him. ‘I think we’ve both made a mess.’ Finally she lifted her eyes to his with the saddest of smiles. ‘But I’ve made a bigger mess. I ruined everything the moment I decided to get involved with Wes. I deeply regret that now.’

‘We can’t change the past, but at least you can go back to him in New York,’ Brody said gently.

‘But I would rather not have fallen for him. Wes broke up with me. Turns out he’s not a good guy, but at the time I fooled myself into thinking he offered something that was missing.’

‘You were in a strange country and were worried about your family.’ Brody surprised himself by how he felt the need to defend Tegan, and he did still care about her. But he also knew, finally, that it was over between them, and that nothing but total honesty would help either of them come to terms with it.

‘It was more than me being needy,’ she admitted. ‘Deep down, I sensed that we – you and I – weren’t the right people to spend a lifetime together. Not as anything more than close friends.’

Brody felt choked with sadness and relief.

‘After Wes, I knew that our relationship was broken beyond repair. I just … didn’t want to face up to it. The way I treated you was unforgivable – coming back here and trying to pick things back up again – even if you hadn’t fallen for Sophie.’

He swallowed. He’d known, deep down in his heart, that Tegan had probably guessed the truth. He’d known she was worried for her father and was, perhaps, already regretting her decision to have an affair with Wes. Hearing it didn’t make Brody feel happy or triumphant. It was merely sad that, despite not wanting to, they’d ended up hurting each other and those around them.

‘You’re a good man, Brody, just not the man for me, no matter how much I’ve tried to convince myself that you are.I think it’s best if we both start again, and I do really want you to be happy.’

It was all he could do not to hold Tegan’s hand to comfort her.

‘Thanks for having the courage to say that. The past few months have been pretty horrible for both of us, but I think we need to do the right thing, right now, and hope it will be OK.’

She sighed, then nodded. ‘That’s all we can do.’

Finally he picked up her hand. ‘Come on then. Let’s tell them together.’

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Sophie chose the most direct path to the top of the fell above Sunnyside, climbing until her lungs were fit to burst, because the effort distracted her from the ache in her heart. It was the first day of the new year and she was determined to shake off the shackles of the old one.

Finally she made it to the summit cairn, shrugged off her rucksack and heaved in some breaths. Wow! It was great to be alone at last and to relax in the stillness of it all. No people, no chatter, only the sound of the wind blowing, to disturb the stillness.

The fell was a very modest one, in the grand scheme of Lakeland hills, yet no one else could be bothered to climb it on New Year’s Day, when many people would be nursing their hangovers. Far below her, in the shifting mist, Lake Windermere glistened in the valley. The mist would burn off by lunchtime; she’d learned enough about her surroundings over the past ten months to know that. No smoke spiralled from the fat chimneys. Gabriel must be inside his shelter, although the sheep, with their curly horns, were munching away in the fields.

Brody would be at his future in-laws’, she thought. She’dseen them all hurriedly leave the steamer the previous evening. Tegan’s father, Alan, had seemed well enough to walk off the boat after it had called in at Bowness jetty to let him, and a few other passengers, off early. She’d no idea what had happened after that, and she could only hope he’d been OK.

Hot chocolate from her flask and a brownie from the farm shop were very welcome. She felt both at home here and out of the place, at the same time. She was just finishing the last of the brownie when she heard barking from below. A few seconds later Harold trotted over, woofing and snuffling with delight to see her.

Sophie’s stomach knotted and her pulse quickened. She hadn’t dared contemplate what would happen with Brody, after last night. They’d seemed to be so near to being together, and yet so far away. She couldn’t see any way of them being together without causing pain to Tegan and her family.

Brody appeared at the top of the path, breathing hard and heading straight for her, once he spotted her. He looked gorgeous, but Sophie suppressed the urge to run to him.

‘Hello,’ he said with a grin. ‘Fancy finding you up here.’

‘It does seem a big coincidence,’ she said.

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