Page 34 of One Cornish Summer With You

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

‘What’s wrong with me?’ Tammy muttered in the middle of attempting a downward-facing dog on her hammam towel the following evening.

‘I don’t know. What is wrong with you?’ Lola’s voice came from a few feet away.

Their yoga class had been cancelled while the instructor was in Ibiza so the two friends had arranged to meet up at a quiet corner of Porthmellow beach. It was a beautiful June evening, the sun still warm and high in the sky at 7 p.m. Dogs chased across the sand, kids scoured the rock pools, and the waves barely kissed the shore. It should have been idyllic.

Tammy wobbled more than usual because her mind wasn’t on her pose or on her breathing or even on the festival. Ruan’s comment after their kiss on the beach the previous evening had intruded so many times.

‘I don’t want this to end,’he’d said.

Before those words, Tammy had been ready to drag him off to some secluded cave and rip his clothes off. Bythishad he meant only the kiss? Or their relationship?

She’d been scared he wanted too much too soon so she’d tried to dampen his expectations – then asked him if he wasplanning to stay around. He hadn’t called earlier as he’d promised, probably because she’d pre-empted the call with a message of her own saying she’d be busy all weekend.

Talk about giving off mixed signals. No wonder he’d looked confused. If Ruan hadn’t been brave enough to ask her if they could meet again, she didn’t know what their next move would have been.

Lola rose to her feet, assuming the tree pose, foot on the inside of her knee, palms pressed together as if in prayer.

‘As you’re not going to answer your own question, do you want me to tell you what your problem is?’ Lola said.

Tammy thought before answering, mainly because she didn’t want to get into the details of how she’d made the first move on Ruan and pulled away when he’d shown the slightest hint that he wanted their arrangement to last.

‘Go on, then,’ she said, wavering but determined to hold the pose.

‘You end things before they can leave you.’

‘Argh!’ Tammy collapsed on to the sand.

Lola laughed. ‘You’re not in the zone tonight, are you?’ She held out a hand and helped her friend to her feet. ‘I’m right about men though, aren’t I? You sabotage any relationship before you have the remotest chance of being hurt.’

Tammy thought before replying. ‘How do you work that out? Things just come to a natural conclusion. Remember Robbie Kingston, who joined the army? How was that my fault?’

‘He was trying to get away from a broken heart. He couldn’t join the French Foreign Legion, so he signed up.’

‘Not because of me. He wanted to be a tank engineer.’

‘Hmm. Let’s try the tree again.’ Lola pressed her hands together, unwavering in her one-legged pose. ‘What about that Welsh chap from the wildlife trust? I liked him.’

Tammy tried to focus on a rock to aid her balance. ‘Dafydd went back to Tenby because he was offered a new job.’

‘He applied for that job because there was no point in staying in Porthmellow.’

Tammy turned her head to face Lola and teetered again. ‘Did he actually say that?’

‘Well, yes. Not to me but to my ex.’

Tammy returned her foot to the sand. ‘You never told me that.’

‘I didn’t see the point in upsetting you. You said you hated having to finish it.’

‘I did. I always hate ending things. It would be better if I didn’t start things, which is why, since Sean, I’ve been behaving like a nun.’

‘Have you wanted to behave otherwise?’ Lola shot back.

‘Well … no. I haven’t met anyone I liked enough.’

‘Being celibate is no sacrifice then?’

---