Riley nodded and sucked in a breath for courage. “Fallon, I would love for our baby to have a part of you—biologically.”
Fallon smiled.
“But I’m uncomfortable with Dean acting as our donor,” Riley said.
Fallon blinked with surprise. “Okay? Can I ask why?”
“There are a few reasons. Listen, I love Evan and the girls.”
“I know,” Fallon said.
“But I don’t think adding a sibling to that equation is in the best interest ofourfamily, more so for Owen than for you or me.”
“Owen loves the kids.”
“Yes, he does,” Riley agreed. “But he is not one of their siblings, Fallon. And sometimes, Owen feels a bit like an outsider.”
“He’s not an outsider."
“He’s a lot younger,” Riley said. “And Dean isn’t his dad. No matter how much everyone loves Owen and works to make him feel welcome, he will always be different from the other kids. He isn’t your nephew, Fallon.”
“He’s my son. I love Owen more than anything.”
“I know,” Riley said, taking Fallon’s hand. “This conversation has nothing to do withyou.”
“I think it does.”
“No. Not this. I won’t lie to you. The last few months have tested my patience at times. I understand your grief. That’s something I can relate to and support you with. And I love you for being the kindhearted, caring person you are.”
“But?”
“But I’ve barely seen you, Fallon. I thought we’d turned a corner when we went to Hawaii. When we came home, you started running again,” Riley said.
“I just want everyone to be settled.”
“Yes. But I also feel like you’ve been avoiding me.”
“Riley, no.”
“Are you sure about that?” Riley asked.
“That’s not it. I want to be sure everything is in place.”
“No matter how many plans you make, something will uproot our lives again. That’s life. You can’t avoid that, Fallon. None of us can.”
“How does any of this relate to Dean?” Fallon asked.
“I want Owen to feel our children arehissiblings.”
Fallon shook her head. “And you think having Dean as a donor would change that somehow?”
“I think it would make our other children part of something Owen can’t share. And I think that will likely cause hurt as time passes,” Riley said.
“Dean doesn’t have to be involved in Owen’s life like he is with the girls.”
“Fallon, you can’t change reality. People will learn the truth—the kids will learn, and that’s only fair.”
“So, you want an anonymous donor? Someone with no relationship to us?” Fallon asked.