Riley flinched at the frustration in Fallon’s voice. “I’d like us to consider our options.”
“Options other than my brother.”
Riley held her ground calmly. “Yes.”
“I know I haven’t been here as much as I should.”
“Thisis not about you and me—not this. This is about Owen and anyone we add to this family.”
“But there’s more on your mind. Do you even want to have kids with me?” Fallon asked.
Riley silently counted to three. “You know I do.”
“Do I?”
“Honestly, Fallon, I knew this would be a difficult conversation. I didn’t expect you to react with anger.”
“How am I supposed to feel? What about how I feel?” Fallon asked.
“I’d hoped you’d be open to alternatives.”
“And if I’m not?”
Riley steadied her breathing. “Then I think we have much more we need to discuss.”
“Meaning?”
“I’m not prepared for Owen to play second fiddle in this family, Fallon.”
“Do you honestly believe that would happen?” Fallon asked.
“Intentionally? No. Itwillhappen. He’s already different from everyone in your family. Why can’t you understand what I’m saying?” Riley asked. “If you want to carry our baby, I’m all for it.”
“Really? Wouldn’t that still make Owen anoutsider?”
“No,” Riley said. “Like it or not, your family has chosen to have Dean act as a father figure to Barb and Liv’s kids.”
“That was Liv and Dean’s decision. We don’t need to make the same choice.”
“And ifwehave a baby that Dean fathers and we don’t allow that child to have the same relationship as his or her siblings—how will that feel for our child? I see it in your eyes. You think this is from a place of jealousy.”
“Is it?”
“No. It’s reality,” Riley said. “And it’s something that’s kept me awake many nights. I’ve struggled with this endlessly—painfully. I come to the same conclusion every time.”
Fallon nodded. “And?”
“And?”
“What else?” Fallon asked.
“Given how this conversation has unfolded, I think we need a little time.”
Fallon’s face paled.
Riley pressed back her tears. “I love you. I know you love me. And I know you love Owen. I can share you with the world, Fallon. We haven’t had time to be a family or a couple. You’re angry at me for expressing something that is painful for me, too. I can’t help but think that’s partly because we haven’t spent time alone. We haven’t taken the time to talk about everything inourlives. You’ve been preoccupied with everyone else’s needs.”
“Do you want me to tell the builder to hold off?” Fallon asked.