Page 29 of Last Call

“I’m sorry,” Fallon said, taking a seat beside Riley.

“I know.”

“I don’t know why I reacted that way, Riley.”

Riley set the book aside and sighed. “No?”

“I just…”

“Fallon, you want our baby to be part of you,” Riley said. “I understand.”

“No. That isn’t it.”

Riley raised a skeptical brow.

“Sure,” Fallon said. “When I thought about having kids, I assumed Dean would be part of the process. And yes, I guess there’s part of me that hoped we’d share a part ofme.”

“I know.”

“It’s a little bit like what you said about Owen,” Fallon offered. “About feeling like an outsider. I love Owen more than anything. You know that.”

“I do. I sense a but coming.”

“He is mine in here,” Fallon said, pointing to her heart. “But he’s also Rob’s. He’s a product of the life you shared with Rob, Riley. I will always want to honor that for you both.”

Riley smiled.

“And sometimes, I feel a little guilty.”

“Guilty about what?” Riley asked.

“That I think of him as mine. That I wish he’d always been mine.”

“Fallon.” Riley sighed and took Fallon’s hand. “That’s because you love him so much. He loves you. He doesn’t remember his father, babe. I love you for your determination to keep Rob’s memory alive for Owen. Not everyone would feel that way. And Owen deserves to know about his father, who he was, and how much Rob loved him. But Owen isn’t like Emily and Summer. He’ll only ever know his father through the memories of others. He knowsyou. He choseyou. You’re not an outsider in his life. You’re his mom.”

Fallon choked back her tears. “I know that. I do know. That doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty sometimes. And before you say anything more, the way I feel should have helped me understand what you were trying to tell me. If anyone should understand, it should be me. I thought about it a lot on the drive home.”

“Where did you go?” Riley wondered.

“I went to Mom’s,” Fallon answered. “I think the biggest reason I wanted Dean to be our donor was to keep him close to me.”

Riley grinned.

“You knew that, didn’t you?”

“I didn’tknow,” Riley said. “I suspected. You love Dean. I know the distance between you has been hard.”

“It’s still hard for me to trust him. I want to,” Fallon said.

“I know that, too.”

“I am sorry.”

“We need to take our time with this,” Riley said.

Fallon swallowed hard and looked down.

“Time, Fallon. I want us to be confident about our decision, both of us.”

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