Page 25 of It's Now or Never

I looked all around at the familiar faces gazing at me with affection, and felt overwhelmed by the warmth of their welcome. Someone handed me a glass of prosecco and a tray of delicious canapés was wafted under my nose. I took a salmon mousse topped blini and stuffed it in my mouth in an attempt to stop theunexpected surge of emotion at the back of my throat from escaping.

Matt greeted me with his customary wide smile and enveloped me in a huge bear hug, before stepping backwards to hold me at arms’ length.

‘Well, you didn’t really expect us not to mark your last day with Browns in some small way?’

‘This is lovely, Matt. Thank you. Really, I’m going to miss this place so much and everyone in it.’

‘Well, you do know it’s not too late to change your mind. Your replacement is due to start Monday morning, but I could always ring her. Tell her not to bother coming in.’

I laughed, but I suddenly felt overwhelmingly sad inside. This place had been such a huge part of my life for so long and now I was leaving it all behind. All the time I’d worked for Browns I’d felt safe and protected and now I was heading out in the big wide world to a new adventure, and however much that inspired and thrilled me, it also terrified the life out of me.

‘Great though that you’ve found someone for my role,’ I said brightly. At one time I would have been privy to everything Matt was doing, but I hadn’t even known he’d been interviewing people, let alone hired someone. I knew he’d been holding back until he was certain that I was actually leaving and didn’t have a last-minute change of mind.

‘Yep, she seems like a great girl. She reminds me a lot of you, actually. She’s only twenty, but she’s very ambitious, full of enthusiasm and she’s got a lot of great ideas for moving the department forward.’

‘She sounds perfect,’ I said, feeling a stab of pain to my stomach. It was funny to think someone else would be stepping into my shoes, doing the job I’d loved doing for so long, forming a close bond with Matt.

‘Well, I don’t suppose she’ll be anywhere near as perfect as you are, but I’m sure we’ll muddle through without you somehow.’ He put an arm around my shoulder, genuine affection shining in his eyes. ‘Besides, I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of you, Jen. I’ll be expecting you to pop in every now and then to keep us updated on all your news.’

‘Oh, I will do, don’t you worry about that. And I’m going to be mentioning Browns at every opportunity I get. In any social media posts or articles that I get published. I’m hoping to do some product reviews too so expect a huge influx of sales from my recommendations.’

‘I will do, Jen,’ he said, solemnly. ‘I’ll hire in some extra staff to cope with the sales rush.’

I smiled as he dashed back onto the shop floor to sort out a problem with the tills, which was something of a relief. It gave me a chance to get my fluctuating emotions under control. One minute I was laughing, the next I was close to tears. Home time couldn’t come a moment too soon today.

‘Hello, lovely girl,’ said Molly, filling the space recently vacated by Matt. ‘Do you know, Jen, I’m still so sad that you’ve decided to leave Browns. It won’t seem right without you about the place. I thought you’d be like me, Jen, collecting your pension from Browns.’

I sighed, looking into Molly’s lovely warm sparkling eyes.

‘Well, there was a time when I thought so too, but I’d got to that stage where I felt desperate to move on. I needed a change. It wasn’t only the job, it was lots of other things going on in my life too. And it was a case of if I don’t do it now, then I might never do it. Have you ever felt that way, Molly?’

‘Not really.’ She shrugged, as if she had no idea what I meant. ‘Every day I’ve spent working at Browns has been a happy one and I can’t think of any company that I would have preferred towork for. It’s natural to think the grass is greener somewhere else, but it isn’t always the case.’

‘I suppose,’ I said wistfully.

‘And I hope I’m not speaking out of turn here, but I always hoped you and Matt might have a future together, you know, as a couple.’

I laughed, and turned to look at her sharply.

‘What ever made you think that?’

‘I don’t know. You just seem to go well together. And he always lights up whenever you’re around.’

‘No!’ I said, feeling myself blushing. ‘Matt and I have only ever been friends. We work well together as a team, I admit that, but that’s as far as it goes, I’m afraid.’

‘Ah well, perhaps it was just wishful thinking on my part, but you never know – funnier things have happened,’ said Molly, a mischievous grin on her face.

My gaze drifted across to the other side of the room where Matt was now chatting in his usual animated style to a couple of the team. I wondered if there could be any truth to Molly’s words. I’d always known Matt had a soft spot for me, but I’d put that down to the fact that he’d felt sorry for me when my mum died and had taken me under his wing. It couldn’t be more than that, surely? Although the way he looked at me yesterday when I was talking to Alex might suggest otherwise.

Now, observing him across the room, it was like seeing him for the first time. He was good-looking in anyone’s book. Not in the same jaw-dropping head-turning way as Alex, but in a more natural guy-next-door way.

Maybe Molly had a point about missing what was right in front of you. Still, it was far too late now for what-ifs and what-might-have-beens. I could only look to the future now.

Clutching a huge bouquet of flowers, a bottle of champagne,a bronze sculpture of a gundog which was one of Browns’ best-selling gifts and which I’d long admired, and a generous amount of gift vouchers, I walked out of the doors of Browns for the last time.

It was the end of an era and the start of a brand new one.

Thankfully I had no time to sit and contemplate my last day at work and whether or not I’d done the right thing in leaving. No sooner had I got home than I’d changed out of my old work clothes and deposited my company sweatshirt in the bin. After showering I put on my black shift dress, some strappy heels and a silver pendant, and tied up my hair casually on top of my head.

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