Page 1 of The Forever Cottage

1

Tess Alexander peered out through the front kitchen window of Hollyhocks Cottage, casting her gaze to the sky. It was a clear and bright late-spring morning with the promise of summer wafting tantalisingly in the air. There was a calm stillness about the day, as there was every day in the sleepy Cotswold village of Lower Leaping, but Sundays brought their own particular sense of peace and tranquillity. She poured herself a second mug of coffee and placed it beside her laptop on the kitchen table, glancing at her watch. It was five minutes until what was usually the highlight of her week, but today, she was struggling to muster up any energy or enthusiasm.

She dashed to the cloakroom and peered into the mirror, checking to see if her reflection gave away her inner angst. Letting out a groan at the sight that greeted her, she ran a hand through her hair. A trip to the hairdresser’s was well overdue as her natural blonde hair had been stripped of colour, turning it a nondescript, washed-out shade and her face, devoid of make-up, looked pale and weary, and every one of her fifty-four years. Hardly surprising really, considering she’d had barely any sleep the last couple of nights, but she needed to present some semblance of normality. She ran the cold tap and splashed her face with water, widening her eyes and sticking out her tongue, hoping that it might inject some much-needed energy into her features. Quickly, she lifted her hair from the back of her neck and twisted it into a messy topknot, before returning to the kitchen, settling herself at the kitchen table and taking a couple of calming breaths.

Moments later, Tess was greeted by the sunny face of her daughter Hannah, smiling out at her from the screen of the laptop, and despite her apprehension, Tess’s mood lifted immediately to see her looking so happy, oblivious to the drama that had been unfolding at home.

‘Hey, Mum! How are you? All okay?’ She breezed on without waiting for an answer. ‘I’ve got so much to tell you. It’s been a mad week. We went kayaking and saw some dolphins. It was the most amazing thing ever. I meant to send over the videos, but it’s been hectic. I promise to do it later. Oh, and then something bit me. I don’t know what it was, a creepy-crawly of some description, but my arm blew up and it was so painful. Don’t worry, I got it checked out by a doctor and they wrapped it up and gave me some antibiotics.’ Hannah lifted her arm to show off her bandaged limb. ‘I’ll live, apparently!’ Hannah’s chuckle faded away. ‘Are you okay, Mum?’ she asked, peering closer, as though her face might appear through the screen at any moment.

‘Fine, yes,’ Tess said, forcing a smile.

‘Are you sure? You don’t seem yourself and… have you been crying?’

‘No!’ Tess was quick to reassure her daughter. ‘I’m tired, that’s all. I didn’t get much sleep last night. Barney woke me up, barking. I don’t know what it was, probably some wildlife in the garden, but he wouldn’t let it go so I had to come down and let him out and then of course I couldn’t get back to sleep. I think I need a few more of these,’ she said, taking a sip from her mug.

‘Oh, Barney. I miss him so much. Can I see him?’

Tess was glad for the distraction and beckoned the beagle over to her side, where she scooped him into her arms and lifted him up to the camera.

‘Aw, Barney!’ Hannah called his name several times, trying to get the dog’s attention, but Barney was much more interested in sniffing out any stray crumbs on the table.

‘You would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you, Mum? And where’s Dad?’

‘He’s down the tennis club.’ The white lie tripped off Tess’s tongue effortlessly, but then it was easily believable. For all she knew, Charles could be down the club, being his usual ebullient self, carrying on as normal, as though nothing had changed in their lives. Wherever he was, she had no intention of offering any explanations to her daughter. That was up to Charles, although she had urged him to tell Hannah sooner rather than later. She didn’t want her hearing the news from somebody else.

‘It’s all change this week. Maya is taking a flight to Perth to spend some time with her cousins. Don’t worry though because I’ve met up with some really cool guys and tomorrow, I’m taking the bus to Byron Bay with them, which is meant to be amazing, so I’ll keep you posted.’

Hannah’s enthusiasm was evident in the sing-song quality to her voice. It was clear too from the sparkling light in her eyes, the healthy glow to her skin and her long hair lifted by highlights that she was enjoying every moment of her big adventure on the other side of the world. After graduating from university with a first-class honours degree in French and Russian last year, Hannah was taking a well-deserved break from her studies, to earn some money and travel around Australia, before starting her teacher training in September. It had been three months since she’d headed off with a huge backpack on her shoulders, an excited grin on her face, waving frantically to her parents until the very last minute when she’d disappeared into the departure lounge at London Heathrow. At the time, the smile on Tess’s face had been entirely fake, as she tried desperately to contain her emotions, breaking down in Charles’s arms once Hannah was out of sight. She’d been consumed with worries about Hannah heading off into the great unknown, but she could never have let on to her daughter. She had to let her go so that she could pursue her dreams; wasn’t that a mother’s role? It really would be the trip of a lifetime, so everyone had told them, and Tess had felt marginally better when Hannah had arrived in Australia, safely in one piece. Since then, their weekly video calls had gone a little way to allay Tess’s concerns.

‘That sounds great,’ said Tess distractedly now.

Hannah’s brow furrowed and her bottom lip curled.

‘Oh Mum, now I know there must be something wrong.’

‘Why?’ Tess’s mind had been wandering and at Hannah’s prompting, she brought herself back to the moment. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, you haven’t given me the third degree over these guys I’ve met. Normally, you want to know the life history of my travelling companions. You’ve not asked about my arm or generally been very interested in a word I’m saying.’

‘Darling, that’s not true. I’m always interested to hear what you’ve been doing and I can tell by looking at you that you’re well and happy. Sorry if I’m not as engaged as you’d like me to be, but honestly, I’m just shattered.’ Tess made an elaborate show of yawning to press home the point.

‘Hmm, well if you’re sure.’ She let out a heartfelt sigh. ‘It’s the same every time I call. I’m always so excited to speak to you, but then when I do, seeing your lovely face, it just brings home to me how much I miss you all. And it makes me sad that I can’t be there with you in person or give you a hug.’

‘Honestly, darling, we miss you too.’ Tess let go of Barney, who was wriggling in her arms to be put down. He scampered onto the floor and went running out of the open French doors into the garden. ‘The time has flown by and the rest of your trip will go just as quickly. You’ll be home before you know it so you need to make the most of it while you can, and don’t worry about us. We’ll still be here when you get back.’

The words sounded hollow to her own ears. She had no way of knowing where she, Charles and Barney would be on Hannah’s return in a few months’ time. All she knew was that barely anything would remain of their supposedly happy family unit within the walls of Hollyhocks, only a lifetime of memories.

2

Closing the lid on her laptop, Tess exhaled a sigh, releasing the swell of emotion that she’d suppressed all the time she was on the call to Hannah. She stood up and stretched out her limbs before going off in search of Barney outside. The garden at Hollyhocks had always been her happy place and in the warm embrace of a spring morning, she could take comfort in its healing and protective qualities. Her hand picked out the deep yellow of an old-fashioned rose bloom, caressing a petal, its fragrant scent playing at her nostrils. She closed her eyes and lifted her face to the sky and in that moment, she was transported to another point in time, when her life hadn’t crumbled around her, when her only worry was what she might prepare for supper that evening.

In the space of a few days, everything that she knew to be true had been swept from under her feet and she still couldn’t quite believe that it had happened, half expecting Charles to stroll through the front door at the end of the day like he always did.

She sniffed and wiped away the tears with her forearm as she wandered down the winding path that led to the herb and vegetable garden, stopping to inspect the flourishing plants before taking a seat on the old wooden bench. Her gaze ran around the raised beds where she’d planted her runner beans and sweet peas, already looking forward to them flourishing in the coming months, bringing their sweet scent to the garden. The terracotta pots of mint, parsley, rosemary, sage, chives and oregano were clustered together on the mismatched paving slabs and Tess often enjoyed the ritual of wandering down to this secluded part of the garden, with her wicker basket looped over her arm, to pick the leaves of the fragrant herbs to use in whatever culinary delight she had in mind. She took on the responsibility of mowing the lawns too and even, in earlier years, some heavy landscaping, but Tess was never happier than when pottering around the garden, deadheading the flowers and tidying up the beds. The only gardening Charles had enjoyed was sitting out in the courtyard with a gin and tonic in his hand, happy to relinquish control of the upkeep of the grounds, approaching an acre, to his wife, certainly appreciating the efforts of her hard work. Now, Tess gave a fleeting thought to what would happen to the house and the gardens, but she couldn’t give it serious consideration. She could barely think about getting through the day, let alone looking any further forward.

She took a deep breath, suppressing another swell of emotion.Oh, get a grip!she chastised herself. She was tired of crying, sobbing into her tea, into Barney’s fur and into her pillow of a night. Fed up with moping around, feeling sorry for herself. Surely she should be right out of tears by now. It had been three whole days since Charles had delivered his bombshell and three whole days since she’d even stepped outside the front door. She couldn’t wallow forever.

‘Barney!’ she called, in a moment of decisiveness. ‘Walkies!’

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