Page 14 of The Forever Cottage

11

In the end, Tess gave up chasing sleep and reached across to turn the bedside lamp on, removing her eye mask and tossing it to one side. The nights were the worst, when she was plagued by thoughts of Charles, trying to pinpoint when it had all gone wrong, if she could have tried harder or done something that may have prevented him from straying. She would wrestle with the duvet and sit up in bed with a start, her heart pounding heavily in her chest, before taking a deep breath and attempting to settle back down again.

Deep down, she knew there was nothing she could have done to change events, everyone told her that, even Charles, but it didn’t stop her mind from taunting her all the same.

Tonight, though, like the last few nights, it wasn’t thoughts of Charles that were keeping her awake, but another man entirely. She padded out of bed and wandered over to the window, pulling back the curtains and peering out into the night sky. The days were getting warmer, but it was still much colder of a night and a shiver ran down her bare arms as she thought about the man she’d met last week. In truth, Rob and the conversation they’d shared had been playing over in her mind ever since. She’d appreciated how he’d opened up to her, how he’d told her his story which hadn’t painted him in the best light but had been imparted with such a raw honesty that it had stirred within her an emotional reaction. She felt invested in his story and was desperate to know how he was getting on. Was he really still camping out under those stars that she could see high up in the sky in a lonely field?

She hoped not, but she couldn’t help thinking how easy it would be to fall into that way of life and then how hard it might be to pull himself out of it again. Earlier, her curiosity had got the better of her and she’d googled what few details she knew about him.

Rob, local man, criminal damage, car.

It wasn’t a lot to go on but her search immediately brought up some results and she’d sat forward in her seat, as her eyes scanned the details on the screen.

Local businessman, Robert Templeton appeared in court today on charges of criminal damage. Mr Templeton, from The Ridings, Grange Sands, Bramlingham, was found guilty of inflicting serious damage to a high-value sports car, belonging to his former business partner, Jack Reynolds. The court heard that Mr Reynolds and Mrs Jennifer Templeton were involved in a close physical relationship and while the Judge concluded that these were mitigating circumstances for Mr Templeton’s actions, including the breakdown of his marriage, the severity of the damage he inflicted on Mr Reynolds’ car meant that he had no other option but to hand down a suspended sentence and a fine of £2,000.

Tess had experienced a small sense of victory discovering that everything Rob had told her had been true. Not that she delighted in his misfortune. Quite the opposite. And she wished, for his sake, that none of this had ever happened. But she felt a deeper empathy for him, knowing that he had confided in her.

She carried on scrolling down on her laptop, finding more results about Rob from happier times. There were photos of him with Jack in an article about a company-sponsored fun run which had raised money for local charities. There were even photos of Rob with Jennifer, arm in arm, on old social media posts: a glimpse into a previous life. It fascinated Tess to see a younger, happier version of the man she’d met in the café, at a time when he could have had no idea what lay ahead for him.

Now, with any hope of sleep evading her, she padded downstairs with Barney following closely behind. She wandered into the kitchen, turning on the low-level lights and switching on the kettle, grateful for the cosy ambience. Always in the middle of the night, her thoughts turned to Hannah, a flash of anxiety in her chest as she remembered that her daughter was on the other side of the world, with new friends, carving her own path. She supposed it was a mum’s lot to worry. Then her thoughts would drift to her own mother, wondering if those niggles she’d mentioned, the pain down her legs and the twinge in her back, were a sign of something more serious. All the worries seemed so much more intense at night as she contemplated her own future, how she would move on from her marriage and if she would be able to keep the home she adored. Now her thoughts had gone off on a tangent and were taken up by a man she barely knew.

Where exactly was he now? It wasn’t so much that he might be camping out on his own that worried her; it was more how the loneliness might be impacting on his mental health. She knew the devastating emotional effect of a breakdown: how it made you doubt everything that you knew, and chipped away at your self-confidence, making you reassess your whole life. At least she was lucky enough to have her home and her family, but it sounded as though Rob had lost everything. How desperate must he feel?

There was no way Tess would get any more sleep tonight, not when her head was too full of plans. There was something she needed to do and she was certain she wouldn’t sleep again until she’d done it.

* * *

It was after ten o’clock by the time Tess reached Bramlingham town centre. There was no point in getting there at the crack of dawn, any sensible person would still be asleep in bed, and so she had followed her usual routine of walking Barney through Lower Leaping and across the fields, before returning home for some breakfast for the pair of them. The mornings had taken on a different feel since Charles had moved out because she no longer climbed out of bed at some unearthly hour to make him some tea and toast which they used to share at the kitchen table. These days, having usually had a fitful night, she would lie in until eight or nine, having finally caught some sleep in the early hours of the morning. Then she would have a leisurely start to the day, not really getting going until mid-morning. There was a certain satisfaction in having the time and freedom to do as she pleased without conferring to anyone else, even if she still hadn’t become used to the quiet and stillness of the house without Charles’s forceful presence about the place.

Now, as she walked along the high street, her gaze scanning the width of the thoroughfare, looking all around her, taking in the beauty of the imposing Regency buildings, she had to wonder if she was slightly mad. In the middle of the night, this had seemed like a perfectly logical thing to do, but in the cold light of day, she was beginning to think those night-time flights of fancy may have been hallucinations. Had she really expected to come into town and bump into the man she’d met for the first time a week ago? And, if she did, what on earth was she going to say to him?

Despite knowing she was on a wild goose chase and that she probably wouldn’t see Rob ever again, she couldn’t help feeling a sense of loss, as if she had unfinished business with the man. She wasn’t sure where that notion had come from. Perhaps she was projecting her own sense of abandonment and aloneness onto him, imagining that he was experiencing the same emotions as her. They had both been through a difficult marriage break-up with their spouses going off with other people, but that was hardly an uncommon occurrence. Lots of people experienced the heartbreak of a relationship split. She was one of only many. In the warm stillness of an early summer’s morning, she realised that her emotions were all over the place, and she couldn’t trust herself to make any rational decisions, not until she was on a more even keel.

She continued walking, stopping almost without thinking outside Café Bianco to peer inside at the table where she had sat with Rob. What was she expecting? That he would be sitting there waiting, on the off chance that she might wander in to see him? She exhaled a sigh, glancing at her watch. The only good thing about having her thoughts occupied by Rob was that it had stopped her from obsessing about Charles and Melody, and after the shock of almost coming face to face with them, something had shifted inside her. Almost an acceptance of what was her new reality.

Now, like the last time, the enticing aromas of coffee invited her inside and she pushed through the door, the old-fashioned chime of the bell ringing above her as she went across to the counter to order a coffee and a sticky cinnamon bun. Today, she opted for a window seat so that she could watch the world go by and, taking a sip from her warm mug, feeling the creamy, frothy topping coating her top lip, she felt the pent-up tension she’d been holding inside escape as she rolled her shoulders backwards. She even allowed herself a smile as she settled back in her seat. She supposed she needed to be lenient on herself. She’d always prided herself on being level-headed, doing the sensible thing, so it was only natural that in such a period of change, she might be tempted to act spontaneously and out of character.

She might never find out how Rob was getting on in his new life, but she didn’t need to feel responsible for his wellbeing just because she sympathised with his situation. He was a grown man more than capable of making his own decisions, even if some of those recent decisions had clearly been questionable.

Still, it would have been good to have seen him if only to pass on her good wishes. Some people make a deep impression on you and Rob had been one of those people.

She savoured the last of her bun and coffee, preparing herself to make the journey home, when the waitress came along to clear the table.

‘I don’t know if you can help me, but I was in here the other day and I met a guy. Late forties, tall, dark and…’ She just stopped herself from saying handsome. ‘He was carrying a big rucksack.’

‘Oh, I know who you mean. Rob? Yes, he’s been in a few times, but not for a couple of days.’ She cupped her chin between her thumb and forefinger, narrowing her eyes, obviously bringing to mind what she knew. ‘Wasn’t he going to move away? To start afresh? After everything that happened with his wife?’

Tess shrugged. So clearly, it was common knowledge about Rob’s recent problems, although Tess was surprised, and disappointed too, at the news that Rob might be moving away. Hadn’t he told her he wanted to stay in the area to be close to his children?

‘Such a sad story. Look.’ Tess stood up and gathered her bags. ‘If you do see Rob again, would you be able to pass on a message to him, please? Could you just say Tess was asking after him and she sends her very best wishes.’

12

After leaving the café, Tess walked with more purpose as she headed for the car park behind the market square. She might not have achieved what she set out to do but the very act of coming into town, going through the motions, chatting to the lady in the café, had given her a sense of completion. It had been a flight of fancy and now she could put it behind her without anyone knowing what she’d had in mind. Just as well really as she could imagine the reaction she would have received from her friends; they would have thought she was completely mad.

It wasn’t as if she didn’t have plenty of other things she could be doing at home. She had a whole pile of paperwork to sort through; she wanted to set up a new bank account in her own name and she wanted to check through all the insurances and subscriptions which, up until now, had been Charles’s domain. From now on, she needed to take responsibility for those things herself. She’d been guilty of letting Charles deal with all the housekeeping admin in the past because it had been the easiest thing to do, but now she wished she’d taken a more active role.

It was as she pressed the fob on her key ring and heard the door of her small turquoise hatchback click open that she heard a voice call from behind her.

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