Page 6 of The Forever Cottage

She nodded. In the early days of their relationship, Tess had been keen to keep up with Charles in his outdoor activities, joining him on cycle rides, weekend hikes, and skiing holidays abroad, but at some point over the years, she couldn’t remember exactly when, she’d started staying at home during those trips, while Charles went off with his friends on those occasions, leaving Tess to relish the downtime at home, when she could do as she pleased. They had their annual holidays together in the sun, but now she had to wonder if she had taken more interest in his hobbies, been a more active partner in his pursuits, then the gap between them, which she had never even realised existed until now, may never have widened.

‘Well, are you going to tell me what’s troubling you, or am I going to have to prise every word out of you?’

Tess lifted her gaze from where it had drifted out of the window to meet Marjorie’s.

‘Remember, I know you better than anyone. You did exactly the same thing when you were a small girl. Disappeared inside yourself when something was bothering you.’

‘Ah…’ Tess might have known she wouldn’t be able to keep anything from her mum and it was probably the reason she had put off visiting for as long as possible. Ordinarily, she would try to get in to see her every other day, so it was only natural that Marjorie had sensed something was amiss. There was no easy way of saying it.

‘It’s Charles, he’s left me,’ she said starkly.

‘Good grief! What on earth has happened?’ Marjorie brought her hands together as if in prayer.

‘I don’t know. It came out of the blue. Charles simply announced that he’d met someone else and was leaving to start a new life with her.’ She shook her head, the truth of the words startling her all over again.

‘What a bloody idiot! Not Charles, I would never have thought it of him. Is he having his midlife crisis? I don’t doubt he’ll be back with his tail between his legs when he realises his mistake, just you wait and see.’

‘I’m not sure that he will,’ said Tess. ‘Apparently, he’s in love.’ She widened her eyes and shook her head. However many times she announced it, she still couldn’t believe that it was true. ‘Besides, I’m not sure I would want him back now. He’s destroyed everything that we had together. I can’t see a way back from that.’

‘Well, darling, I’m absolutely shocked, and so terribly sad for you. After everything you’ve done for that man. Should I ring him? Tell him exactly what I think about his behaviour.’

‘No, really, Mum. There’s no need for that. He knows the devastation he’s caused. I told him he had to let Hannah know what was happening and I had her on the phone in tears the next day threatening to jump on the next plane home!’

‘Honestly, what was he thinking? I hope you managed to persuade her otherwise?’

‘Yes, but only after a great deal of reassurance from me. She’s so cross with her dad. I’m not sure that she ever wants to talk to him again. I’m only grateful that she’s met a guy she really likes out there and they’re travelling together. Nothing like a blue-eyed, blond, strapping, Irish guy to provide the perfect distraction. I’ve told her to make the most of the time they have together. She’s worried about me, of course, but I don’t want Charles’s action impacting on what should be the trip of a lifetime for her.’

‘Well, we’ll all be worried about you, darling,’ Marjorie said, grabbing hold of her daughter’s hand and rubbing it fiercely. ‘But I know you’ll be absolutely fine. Cry your tears. Rant and rave against Charles, throw his dirty laundry out, but then get on with your life. You’re made of stern stuff. You’ve always been content to follow in Charles’s shadow, but you know what they say, behind every successful man there is a strong woman, and that definitely applies to you, dear Tess. Charles wouldn’t have been able to build his career if you hadn’t been propping up the home and the family in the background. Don’t underestimate your role in that marriage and everything you’ve contributed.’

Tess shrugged. ‘I’m not sure who I am without Charles at my side. How to be on my own. My whole purpose for the last thirty years has been to look after my husband. I thought I did a pretty good job, but look where it’s got me. God, how pathetic does that make me sound?’

‘Not pathetic at all,’ said Marjorie, bristling with indignation on her daughter’s behalf. ‘You’ve been committed, loyal and faithful. A few traits that Charles could do with learning from you. This is a big blow, but you’ll get through this, stronger, happier, your own person.’

Tess nodded, so wanting to believe her mother but not sharing her confidence. She’d been happy as she was and now she would be expected to turn her whole life round. Her happiness had always been inextricably linked to Charles so how would she ever survive without him? Now, in her fifties, she was expected to reinvent herself. Wasn’t that what they talked about in the glossy women’s magazines? A new hairdo, a fresh wardrobe, a second career or even a first in her case. The very idea made her shudder, when all she’d wanted was to sashay into her autumn years, leaving behind the worries and responsibilities that came with being a parent and running a busy household, looking forward to a more carefree future. Through no fault of her own, her future suddenly looked very different indeed.

6

Tess wasn’t sure how she got through the following weeks, only that she forced herself to get up out of bed in the mornings, showered and dressed so that she was ready to face whatever the day had in store for her. She wasn’t going to waste any more time dwelling on what had happened because all the ruminating in the world wasn’t going to change a thing. Tossing and turning in bed of a night, taunted by images of Charles sharing a bed with Melody, only made her sad and angry, so the best way of dealing with it was to put it entirely out of her mind. Not that she always managed to do that, but with each passing day, it was becoming a little easier to achieve. Thank goodness for Barney, who was always there every morning with an expectant expression and a wagging tail, which never failed to make Tess smile. It gave her the motivation to shake off her worries and step outside, finding comfort and solace in the picturesque landscape of Lower Leaping, appreciating the way the elements, today a gentle, warm breeze, wrapped themselves around her in a hug, urging her onwards.

Putting aside her own concerns, Tess knew she needed to be strong for her mum and Hannah, who were both worried sick about her being alone and the state of her mind, observing her from a distance through far too many calls and texts, half expecting her to spiral into a pit of despair. She didn’t want to be that woman. Someone to be pitied. It infuriated her what Charles had done to her, but more the way his actions had impacted on the people that she loved, hurting her mother and daughter in a way that she was unable to put right. She’d always been the strong one, the care provider, the solution giver and giver of hugs too, and she didn’t want that to change. There was no other option but for her to get on with it and prove to everyone, Charles especially, that this setback wouldn’t destroy her. She would be just like those women in the glossy magazines who reinvented themselves in midlife.

Pottering in the kitchen, emptying the dishwasher, she turned her gaze to the garden, looking out on the summer house which had been Charles’s office for a few years, ever since the country was made to stay at home during lockdown. Despite the uncertainty, Tess had enjoyed that period when she could peer out of the window and see Charles’s broad figure working hard at his computer. It lifted her heart. She would wander in at various points throughout the day to take him a mug of coffee or tea, for a chat, and he would join her in the kitchen for a spot of lunch or later, at the end of the day, for a gin and tonic. When he returned to the office, Tess missed his daily presence around the place, and the summer house, filled with bookshelves, desks and computer equipment, was rarely used, becoming a storing ground for odd bits of garden furniture, games and old paperwork, which was a shame as the soft-teal wooden structure was a charming building that blended in beautifully with the surrounding trees and shrubbery.

Tess’s musing was interrupted by the insistent ringing of the doorbell.

‘Hello, yes! Perfect. I’ve opened the gates. Could you put it as far down the driveway as you can get it. Thank you.’

Tess and Barney watched the activity from the safety of the house with Tess shushing the dog to stop his barking but Barney taking absolutely no notice and running up and down excitedly, desperate to get out in the garden to help. Only when the lorry had reversed out of the driveway and the doorbell rang again did Tess allow Barney to escape the confines of the house to see what was going on.

‘All done?’ she asked as she pulled open the front door to greet who she thought would be the driver. ‘Ah… Dilly! I thought you were the…’

‘No, I think he’s gone. I saw the skip arriving,’ she said, looking over her shoulder. ‘Are you having a clear-out? Oh, by the way, I brought you some rock buns. I made a batch this morning, but then realised it’s probably not a good idea if I eat them all myself.’

Dilly thrust a Tupperware box in Tess’s direction.

‘Thank you. Did you want to come in? I was about to get started on sorting out the summer house, but…’ Tess ran a hand through her hair, hoping Dilly might take the hint.

‘How kind! These buns go perfectly with a cuppa, so why don’t we pop the kettle on and we can have a proper catch-up. I can always give you a hand if you’d like me to?’

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