Page 16 of Head Over Wheels

She glanced at me doubtfully. ‘You do realise the kiss shouldn’t have happened?’

‘Ehm, I hadn’t quite finished rationalising it actually.’

‘Seb, I’m not—’ She met my gaze. ‘I’m not supposed to get distracted this year. I worked too hard in recovery.’

I tucked my tongue between my back teeth so I didn’t say anything and just nodded.

‘Plus we’re on the same team. It could get… awkward. I learned that the hard way.’

It took me a second to realise she meant when we broke up. I definitely hadn’t thought that far ahead, but I also hadn’t dated a teammate before. Folklore had spoken about her injury on Zpeed, but she’d never mentioned the ex. There was a lot she hadn’t mentioned, while I’d gleefully gone on about my grandma and relaxed days cycling along the river, which must have sounded incredibly dull.

‘I didn’t realise the men’s and women’s teams would see so much of each other,’ I managed to reply, stumbling over my disappointment. But she was right. We would never work in real life, even as close friends. ‘I haven’t been on a team where they share resources like this,’ I managed. It said a lot about my previous teams that they hadn’t bothered.

‘Don’t worry, we’re separate enough that you can still walk around naked – and don’t you dare ask if we do the same.’

‘If the women’s team walks around naked, it’s none of my business,’ I confirmed gravely.

She paused, her hand on the doorframe and a smile on her lips. ‘I forgot you have a whole family of women – and a grandma who taught you manners. I’m… glad you’re on the team, LoonieDunes.’

‘Me too,’ I replied, my reservations about one last season,about getting used to a new team, new directors, gone up in smoke at her words.

‘But I’d better give you some alone time with Matilda.’ She laughed, but cut herself off with a strangled choke, her eyes darting to mine. ‘I didn’t mean anything by that— I didn’t think it through. I’m going and Iwon’tbe thinking about you… Gah!’

I swaggered to the door of my room, grinning at her. ‘Bye, Lore. I won’t be thinking about you… either.’ I wondered if she could tell I was lying. ‘See you at breakfast,’ I added with a wink.

Chapter 6

Lori

I had to have a discussion with my dad about what I’d really been doing in Seb’s room, which was as awkward as I’d expected.

‘No, Dad, there’s nothing going on. I know him from an online thing and I just wanted to check that he was settling in okay despite Colin’s welcome. Now can you please go and ask Colin abouthislove life?’

‘All right, all right, Molly,’ he said in a tone that was gratingly patronising – even for an actual father.

But I loved that he called me Molly, my Irish middle name. He was the only person who did – except occasionally Colin, when he wasn’t calling me monster – and it was a magic word for that safe place he’d always been. He pushed me, but he also caught me, no matter how far I fell.

Racing had always felt like flying for me and that’s the thing about flying: sometimes you fall.

Dad liked to say I was born on a bike. That was typical,and a little insulting to my mum, who’d gone through pregnancy hell and major surgery to bring me into the world, but that was my larger-than-life dad. I owed him everything and it was the least I could do to forget about romance for a few more years – ten at least, if I avoided another injury. At least on the topic of my non-existent personal life my parents were in agreement.

I hated to think what Mum would have had to say if she’d been the one to walk in on Seb and me but, lucky for me, she didn’t travel with the team any more. She had her work with the triathlon club in Melbourne and Dad had his career and they barely saw each other these days. That they seemed happy about that fact was something I’d been shutting out since before I got hurt.

‘How’s the war wound?’ It was just like Dad not to dance around the issue – and to avoid talking about anything to do with romance for long.

‘Great,’ I said, a study in subtlety. ‘No pain – at least not related to my back. I don’t think I’m at full fitness yet, but I’ll be good by Nationals.’

He gave me a rough squeeze and a pat that would have hurt like hell four months ago. ‘That’s my girl. Your watts are looking good. We’ll do your VO2 and lactate tomorrow, so save your strength.’

Great. I’d be strapped up to a bunch of machines and spend a gruelling couple of hours pushing my body to the limit so someone could stab my finger and scientifically prove where that limit was.

I sounded jaded like Seb, but at least I was nowhere near giving all of this up for cheese.

After the initial hiccough on the hill with Seb and Matilda, my training camp progressed well. I had as many doctor’s appointments as I did training rides, but I was back in the bunch. I could almost feel the old me, the woman who broke records and made history. For the first two weeks, I even managed to push away the suspicion that I’d stumbled into a spate of rotten luck.

Sure, I had a slipped gear and screwed up a finish, snapped a chain halfway up a tough climb and knocked a wheel out of shape, but I figured I was getting all my mechanicals out of the way before the real racing season started.

I would get all the intrusive thoughts, all the uncertainty out of my system before the Australian Nationals in January. By then, I was determined to have banished the recurring thoughts and questions about Seb too.

---