Page 66 of Head Over Wheels

The trouble was, I knew what he meant. In that quiet moment late at night, my breath tight and my body clutching him, holding him, feeling him, I had nothing to prove and everything to be joyful in. I was enough.

I was enough to make him shudder as he started to come apart, his chest heaving and his expression turbulent. His fingers dug into my cheeks as his thrusts grew wild and punishing, holding me down. My knees fell, boneless, to the sheets as he plunged deeper, hard and heavy and glorious.

‘I’m so crazy for you,’ he muttered and along with the relentless pressure, a crack of uneasy wonder opened up inside me. He just meant his body. It was enough that I could make him lose it in bed. ‘I’m gonna— Holy shit this feels— Ohhh, fuck!’

I was almost sorry when the rush of sensation zinged up my spine and overwhelmed my senses. The view of him, panting and desperate and pouring out into me, grew fuzzy. Biting down on his hand, I gurgled a cry as the orgasm broke over me, the buzz hanging suspended for a breath before slowly receding. And what flooded in after it was even more concerning than those thoughts about winning I’d had while under the influence of this gorgeous human and his hot body.

Contentment…

There was no need to strive, nothing to aim for. There was only that moment, as Seb collapsed next to me with a wrecked half-smile, his hair in his eyes. Stretching his arm over me, his thumb brushing my nipples and then my stomach, he sighed and said, ‘You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Lore.’

Goosebumps tingled over my skin and I rolled over, hoping he’d just think I wanted to go to sleep and not that his words were burrowing into my chinks and letting that insidious contentment steal the dreams I’d held since I was a teenager. I shouldn’t be thinking of staying longer, wondering if Dad would let me train here, but there it was. I couldn’t un-think it.

Besides, he’d unconsciously echoed his grandmother’s words from earlier that evening – when she’d suggested I could break his heart.

Then Seb continued, mercifully reminding me that we were a long way from having a relationship and I didn’t even know what a healthy one of those looked like anyway – and apparently neither did he. He breathed sleepily, ‘I’ll never forget you.’

Chapter 27

Lori

I awoke restless the following morning to find Seb still passed out next to me and my reservations roaring into overdrive. The only training I’d done for two whole days was a little countryside jaunt on a nostalgic tandem. My shoulder was buggered, but the rest of me needed to stay fit. Slipping out of bed, I pulled on Seb’s shorts and my new bra and fiddled with his Zpeed set-up until it came to life, swallowing a grim smile when the message flashed up:Welcome back, LoonieDunes. Flicking through the menus, I couldn’t help pausing on the chat server, where our last conversation was still the most recent.

The user you are trying to contact does not exist. Please check the username and try again.

I could still feel the panic at the prospect of Mum finding out I’d been anything other than disciplined and ambitious online, but now there was so much added guilt at the way I’d left without saying goodbye.

My skin prickling with misgiving, I selected a threshold workout and pressed ‘Start’ before I reconsidered and jumped back into bed with Seb, who would be warm and sleepy and soft.

The hour was torturous without music – or a voice in my ear. I kept thinking of all the conversations we’d had during warm-ups and zone two training. He knew me too well.

I must have slipped into my zone eventually, because I didn’t notice he’d woken up until his gravelly voice reached me.

‘Wow, good morning. I’m going to think about your tits in that bra every time I work out on Zpeed from now on,’ he groaned.

My foot slipped and I had to grapple with the handlebars for balance, which made the pain in my shoulder roar to life. ‘Fuck! I should never have tried this barefoot!’

He was out of bed in an instant, curling an arm around me in that unbearable way he had of touching me. ‘Hey,’ he began, but I shook my head.

‘I’m fine,’ I lied. ‘I just hate being injured.’

He looked ready to challenge me, but apparently decided against it. ‘It was my fault for distracting you.’ He was too good at taking the wind out of me.

Giving him a half-hearted shove, I said, ‘You sure did. You should give me a warning before you say the word “tits”.’

‘Consider yourself warned,’ he said, his voice low and smooth, and that was all it took for me to leave the Zpeedsimulation to its workout and let Seb show me exactly what he liked about my bra.

When he left to shower, I rolled over and caught sight of my phone, connected to Seb’s charger. I’d turned on flight mode yesterday and ignored my real life while snapping photos of Seb and me, but I should probably turn everything back on and see what the damage was with my dad.

I’d expected endless buzzing for a few minutes while the notifications dropped in. But, even when I opened the conversation with Dad, there were no new messages. Was this the long-distance silent treatment?

I thought about checking my Instagram – I had the notifications filtered and switched off for the sake of my focus and mental health – but I decided against it. I’d start posting the fake photos of Seb and me soon enough, but I didn’t want to think about that when I was wrapped up in his sheets – in the memories of his body against mine. Chicory coffee was a much better option.

Seb had an appointment with his old cycling club in the early afternoon. I decided to tag along, curious about his professional beginnings and eager to distract myself from the feeling of being a ticking clock, about to blow this thing between us apart.

We were all contractually required to wear our team jersey when we appeared in public. He had to pull a brand-new jersey out of a packet, which reminded me how little time he’d actually been with Harper-Stacked.

But I hadn’t forgotten how smooth and toned his bodylooked in Lycra. As we cycled the short journey to his appointment, I was thoroughly distracted by the flex of his butt and his glistening tattoos, peeking out of his socks.

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