Page 62 of Couple Goals

Five minutes ago, Adriana was in the training centre, grabbing her bag, texting Maeve on the way out wishing her good luck with Coach, saying that she’d meet her at Maeve’s place for a late dinner, and that she’d bring their favourite chocolate pudding.

Now, she’s waiting in a booth in a members only bar. She had messaged him during today’s break, asking if they could meet before she went for dinner with Maeve, so that she could ask his opinion about what she should share with her friend about their relationship. It was strange, seeing as they’d spent all weekend together, but they’d stuck to Adriana’s request to not talk about work or their situation. Jacob had texted her, saying he’d meet her there as soon as he could. It feels particularly murky for him to be talking to Maeve with Coach right now,and then coming to see her to discuss what Adriana can share with her friend…

Adriana feels something twinge in her chest, like asthma. She tries to remember the advice Maeve had given her years ago – taking deep breaths, breathing in for four seconds, holding for seven, exhaling slowly for eight. She tries to focus on the room around her, counting things she can see, smell, hear, in the bar.

The room is all shades of rich brown. Round leather chairs, facing each other over bronze-edged wood tables. The light is low and amber, and the focus in the room is drawn to the bar, with suit-clad bartenders and cushioned bar seats. It’s swanky, but in a way that lacks any real soul. She feels like she could be anywhere in the world. Perhaps the ‘international hotel’ feel is part of the appeal for the other patrons – most of whom are older gentlemen in suits, or a couple of city-slicker women in nicely tailored business wear. Adriana feels self-conscious in the hoodie and sports trousers she slipped on for dinner at Maeve’s tonight and tries to hide her trainers under her booth seat.

Adriana sighs and leans back, remembering the past days – how after they’d left the park he’d asked, so tentatively, if she was hungry, did she want to have dinner together? One thing led to another and then… she’d woken up in his soft sheets again, to another hot mocha brought to her, and Jacob in his glasses with a new crossword.

Adriana knows what sheshouldsay to him. She should say this has been wonderful but they can’t keep doing this. Even if she was willing to break her lifelong casual policy for him, they both know it’s far too complicated with their work being too wrapped up. She can’t go to training and pretend not to notice he’s there watching her,then go back to his house afterwards? She can’t sit in a members’ bar while he’s talking to her teammate… and yet…

There’s Jacob, striding over to her booth and smiling at her. Suddenly, the bar doesn’t seem boring at all. Adriana is struck as ever by how her whole body lights up when she sees him.

‘Addy,’ he sighs. He leans as if to kiss her, automatically, then stops himself. He stands over her, hesitating over how to greet her, what to say.

‘Don’t tell me what you said to Maeve,’ Adriana holds up a hand. ‘I want to hear it from her, not from you.’

Jacob holds her eye. ‘You sure that’s what you want?’

‘I don’t want to put you in a weird position,’ Adriana explains. ‘And I also don’t want to have to feign surprise when she tells me. I’m terrible at lying.’

‘Well… that could be a problem for us.’

‘Urgh, not that you need to worry about me keepingoursecret… IthoughtI was bad at lying, but I swear I haven’t told anyone about us, and I don’t think they’d guess… Maybe I just haven’t everwantedto lie about something before.’

Jacob nods seriously, and slides next to her in the booth, gently touching her hand, as if he can’t help himself and keep up the pretense. Adriana smiles at him a little distractedly, biting her nail, looking out the tall window of the bar. She can literally see the corner of the training pitch.

Jacob reads her mind. ‘Are you nervous someone could see us together? Because I assure you it’s a members only bar, and I checked that there is no overlap with your teammates.’

Adriana laughs. ‘Thank you, that was thoughtful but no, I’m sure no one I know would ever come here, trust me. It’s not exactly my usual…’

She waves around at the clothes of the people around them, all in suits like Jacob’s, or equally formal dresses and topknots.

‘Unfortunately, itismy usual vibe,’ Jacob laughs. ‘The only upside is that the cocktails are very fancy too.’

He slides the cocktail list towards her. ‘Hair of the dog?’ he asks her. They’d drunk negronis at the small plates restaurant he’d taken her to last night.

Adriana catches his eye and the two of them laugh together. Other business people in suits turn on their bar seats and booths to frown at them.

‘Shh,’ Adriana puts a mischievous finger to her lips, teasing him. ‘This isn’t a bar, it’s a library.’

Jacob sniggers. He effortlessly nods to get a server’s attention, orders two negronis, before his full attention returns to Adriana. She can’t help it, she loves that when she’s with him in these kind of settings, she can just relax, not having to always feel like it’s her responsibility for everyone to be having a nice time. Adriana loves talking to people, it’s true, but sometimes it gets exhausting feeling like every time she meets anyone, even a member of staff in a bar like this, to feel the need to befriend them. She loves that Jacob just always knows how to handle the situation in a calm and assured way.

‘So,’ he says. He raises an eyebrow to check it’s okay for him to take her hand.

‘So,’ she repeats, worrying about what he’s going to say.

Jacob swirls his thumb over Adriana’s knuckles. She finds it incredibly soothing.

He looks at her intently. His eyes are the sky of a spring morning. ‘Addy, can I say something first?’

Adriana feels the panic rise in her chest, but tries to concentrate on Jacob’s hand in hers, as she nods.

‘I had such an amazing time with you this weekend.’ His eyes don’t leave hers. ‘And… I’m just so scared.’

Adriana feels tears welling in her throat, expecting the next words to be what she’s thought herself that they can’t keep doing this.

‘The stakes feel so high,’ he explains. ‘And not just about… what is happening between the two of us – though frankly, that would be scary enough.’

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