Page 64 of Couple Goals

Jacob peers at her over the edge of his glasses, his eyebrow raised self-deprecatingly.

‘Am I not? I think if any of your teammates saw me here, holding hands with you… Wouldn’t they think that I was abusing my power? Wouldn’t they think that I was just as bad as him?’

Adriana bites her lip and sighs deeply, then takes a sip of her negroni. She wishes she could say something to make it all better, of course she does, both for him and for herself. But that’s exactly why they’re still here. There isn’t a solution.

‘What would you rather be doing?’ she asks him instead.

Jacob smiles in surprise. ‘Oh, what everyone wants to do, I suppose. Sit around reading all day. Adopt a cat. Go on sunny walks in the park at the weekend with a gorgeous red-haired footballer.’

Adriana grins back at him, kissing his cheek quickly, because she can’t resist. Something feels a little lighter between them.

‘I do enjoy some aspects of my work right now,’ he says. ‘I enjoy being good at it. I enjoy feeling useful. The only ways I’ve been able to be useful in my life have been during business meetings, securing a deal. So, I guess… I wouldn’t mind doing that, but for a business I believed in? Or a charity?Though, ha, my dad would have a fit if I used his expensive education to help other people…’ He sighs, shaking his head.

‘I like finding out more about you,’ Adriana reassures him. ‘And the more I do, it’s yet another reason I find myself liking you.’

He squeezes her hand, and sighs. ‘I may not have asked for this job, but now I’m here, I want to do it well.’

Adriana can understand that all too well. In fact, she admires it about him.

‘So as far as I can see, there are two options,’ says Adriana, after a while. ‘Either, we actually end things between the two of us, and keep seeing each other only across the pitch in a purely professional capacity.’

She looks at him cheekily, gesturing with their still-clasped hands. ‘That didn’t go so well when we tried it last time, did it? So the alternative is that we have to keep doing… this. To keep both, we need to keep it a secret. From everyone. Our friends, colleagues, family…’

She hates the murkiness of it, but she can’t bear the thought of losing him, or her job. So what alternative does she have? The two of them nod in mutual agreement. It feels bittersweet.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says quietly. ‘I’m sorry that it isn’t different.’

He reaches out to hold her in the booth, cupping her cheek, his other hand stroking her hair. And then his face breaks into one of his rare, wonderful smiles.

‘But I have to admit, even when it’s difficult, I find it very hard not to be happy, when I’m with you.’

Adriana thinks her heart might burst. She feels light and giddy and like she might say something very silly.

‘I’m willing to do anything to mean we can keep seeing each other,’ says Jacob. ‘And if that means keeping it a secret, then fine.’

Adriana kisses him in agreement. Even though she wishes it were different in so many ways, the truth is that she also feels closer to him than ever. She wishes they could spend the rest of the night together, again. But she has to go and see Maeve, and lie to her…

The server is back, subtly taking their empty glasses and asking if he can get them anything else.

‘Would you like another drink?’ Jacob asks her. ‘Or no time before seeing Maeve?’

Adriana sighs guiltily, checking her phone. It’s time for her to go, really. She doesn’t want to be late for her friend, and yet the thought of leaving Jacob right now, when they’ve been vulnerable with each other and when they’ve agreed to see each other more, fills her with regret. Plus, she’s definitely putting off seeing Maeve.

‘Urgh, it’s so weird, I’m not used to avoiding her!’ Adriana sighs. ‘I feel like the two of us haven’t caught up in so long, and things have been so weird. She’s hiding something, I know, and obviously I’m hiding –’ she gestures between them. ‘Alottoo. And we know each other so well, we can tell. I want to be back to normal with her, but I just don’t know how that’s going to be possible so I…’

She flops her head onto the table and groans dramatically, her frustration getting the better of her. Then she remembers where she is and quickly lifts her head back up,trying to pretend to be professional. A server is stood there, watching her with wide eyes.

She picks up the cocktail menu, all of the drinks looking incredibly delicious, and none with a price next to them. ‘Maybe I could have… a half?’ she says.

‘A half cocktail?’ teases Jacob.

‘Urgh,’ Adriana blushes. ‘I don’t know what I’m saying.’

Jacob nods, puts his hand on her forearm, and says quietly to the server, ‘One negroni please, and some water.’ He smiles at her. ‘We can share.’

Adriana feels so grateful for him taking the initiative while she’s spiralling that when the server disappears, she leans over to kiss him. She doesn’t have to think, it just happens. Jacob blinks at her in surprise, then pulls her face back into his, to kiss her deeply. Adriana feels dizzy. She isn’t used to kissing in public full stop, but she would never have allowed herself to hope that Jacob, specifically, would be okay with kissing her in a place like this. She wants to make the most of it while there isn’t a fear of bumping into a teammate.

Their one cocktail arrives, and they playfully toast each other with it against the other’s water glass, each taking one sip, then swapping over. They talk a little more, Adriana asking more about his knitting grandma, who it turns out also inspired his love of crosswords, and reading. But she knows she should be making a move to get to Maeve’s.

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