Page 66 of Couple Goals

Normally Adriana is so good at setting people at ease, even strangers. Is Maeve reallysoawful that she’s being punished like this? By her oldest friend too? She thought she’d already apologised and they would be able to move on from her behaviour at the club the other night. This feels horrible.

Maeve makes an excuse for needing the loo, then looks at her reflection to give herself a pep talk.

Because it isn’t just Adriana, is it? It’s her too. She feels like a wounded animal, hurt by Kira seducing her so intensely and then dropping her, hurt by seeing Adriana with Jacob, hurt by Coach Hoffman and Jacob telling her that she’s not meeting the standards they expect..

She feels so overwhelmingly sure that she isn’t good enough. Not good enough for her friend, for Kira, for the team, for her mother, for anyone. She slaps her own cheek, trying to wake herself up from this pity party.

She goes back to the kitchen to serve up their food, cutting a careful triangle of galette each, with a fresh salad on the side, and brings it through to Adriana. The plates and crockery are all from a set which Adriana bought her years ago from a charity shop – all with pink cartoon cows on.

Adriana picks up a pink cow pattern fork, and spins it, gnawing her lip. Maeve wonders if she should have, what, bought different crockery?

Then the song changes, and ‘Murder on The Dance Floor’ starts playing.

The two of them glance up, unable to help catching each other’s eye. The song was always played as the final song at the Football Academy end of season ‘discos’, where they had all screamed over the chorus making it ‘Murder on “Zidane’s” Floor’ in homage to Zinedine.

It gets to the chorus now, and, unprompted, when it gets to that line, they both sing along, saying Zidane.

They laugh quietly with each other. The tension in the room dissipating enough to finally be with each other.

‘Hey,’ says Maeve quietly.

‘Hey,’ says Adriana. And Maeve realises that her friend looks as terrified as she is.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Maeve blurts out. ‘I don’t know exactly what I’ve done to upset you but I do know I have been a terrible friend recently. I’m– I haven’t been… I haven’t been doing so well.’

Adriana swallows, her eyes softening as she reaches over to take Maeve’s hand, but now Maeve is finally saying what she’s been holding back she can’t stop herself.

‘And I think I find it really hard to admit that, so I just sort of, withdrew. From you, from all of it. I have been so focused on this–’ she shakes her head again. ‘This captaincy obsession, and… tonight, you know Coach wanted to speak to me? With… With Jacob Astor?’

Maeve studies her friend’s face as she says Jacob’s name. Adriana’s face flushes red, and she looks down at the galette she’s poking around her plate. Maeve leaves a gap to see if Adriana wants to take the opportunity to talk about the nature of her relationship with Jacob, but she doesn’t. Adriana just sucks on her empty fork. Maeve sighs, a little hurt she didn’t take the chance, but continues.

‘They… They said that I’m not meeting their standards. Said if I want any chance of being renamed captain, I need to improve immediately.’

Adriana’s head jolts up to her in surprise. Maeve knows her friend, she’s not that good an actor. Even though something is going on between her and Jacob, he’s clearly not told her about this.

‘Butwhy?’ Adriana gasps. ‘You’re one of our top players?’

Maeve sighs, bowing her head. ‘Because of Kira. Because of the way that she and I… Because I’m…’

Maeve’s throat feels so dry and like it’s tightening. Being punished by the team mingles with her heartbreak at Kira not wanting to see her anymore.‘Kira hates me now, maybe she always did, and I’m meant to be okay with her butsheis the one who…’

Maeve swallows down her tears, covering her face in her cow-print napkin.

Adriana goes and hugs her at last, and Maeve can’t stop a few tears spilling onto her friend’s shoulder. But she pulls herself back together, hardly, not letting herself fully give way to the emotion. While she’s trying to stem her tears, Adriana goes back to her seat and takes a long sip of water, watching her. She seems to be choosing her words carefully.

‘Kira isn’t as untouchable as you think, you know,’ says Adriana. ‘I don’t know what was going on with you two. But whatever you said to her on that night out, or whatever it is you’ve been saying to her in your one-on-ones… She was really upset, Maeve. Really genuinely upset.’

‘How do you know?’ Maeve hesitates.

‘We’ve been…’ Adriana nervously curls a loop of her hair behind her ear. ‘Well, we’ve been hanging out a bit.’

Maeve’s chest swells with a fiery jealousy.

‘Hanging out? What does that mean?’

‘You know, she doesn’t have many other friends here,’ Adriana speaks quickly. ‘It’s important for the team to feel like a unit, right? It affects our play so much if we have a weak link in the bonds between us – it’s like Coach said to you right?’

Maeve feels like Adriana has slapped her now.

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