Page 79 of Couple Goals

Felix just wraps her in a big, tight hug, giving her a noogie, and she pulls away, laughing in surprise, and notes her family all look relieved to hear that brightness coming back.

‘Thank you, I’m fine, honestly. I’m just going to be resting.’

Now finally alone in the taxi, Adriana sighs deeply. She even feels glad that she doesn’t know this taxi driver, and for a rare time in her life, Adriana doesn’t try to make conversation or set him at his ease. She just allows herself to sit quietly, the wind from the window in her face, the sounds from the radio washing over her.

She checks her messages from Jacob. He had sent a reply to her break-up message.

I’m sorry it’s so hard, Addy, and I’m sorry if I shouldn’t be replying here, but I also personally feel it would be good for us to talk more once you’re feeling better. But it’s up to you. Please could you at least let me know how you’re doing? X

She can’t resist texting him now. Maybe she’s a fool, but she tries to think if their roles were reversed, she would definitely want to know that Jacob wasn’t in hospital or anything.

I’m ok. Family were looking after me and now going back to mine, going to rest some more before returning to training.

He replies immediately:Thank you, Addy xx

Adriana closes her eyes and sits there for the rest of the journey. Arriving at her flat is a relief, especially as it’s particularly quiet and restful today, in the September sun. She takes it in, trying to breathe deeply, trying to let go of the tension in her. So much so that she doesn’t notice that there is someone else there in the courtyard with her.

There he is on her doorstep holding a huge bouquet of sunflowers.

‘Jacob,’ she whispers, stunned.

Jacob leaves the flowers on the step, and walks over to her.

‘Addy,’ he says, seeming unsure of how to greet her. ‘God, it’s so good to see you. How are you feeling?’

She shrugs, teary. ‘I’m– I’m okay.’

‘I know I’m being cheeky with making a loophole from your message asking me not to text you… if you want me to leave, please tell me, and I will.’ He speaks as if this is something he’s practiced saying to her.

She finds his loveliness hard to bear. She feels herself welling up, and looks away, wiping desperately at her eyes to try to stop it.

‘No, it’s… you know it’s wonderful to see you. I love seeing you, I just… it’s hard. Hard seeing something I want and can’t have.’ She admits.

‘Could I come in?’ he asks gently. ‘I’ll leave whenever you want, I promise. But I have some things I would really like to talk to you about, and I…’

He gestures to the doorstep where, Adriana hadn’t noticed, there is a large takeaway bag from Honey, with a drink in a holder.

‘Your mocha might be a touch cold, but the brownies should still be good.’

Adriana’s eyes well again in pleasure and gratitude. And then she laughs, thinking of how much of Emily’s baking she’s been consuming recently.

‘You and my family have the same tactics,’ Adriana says, wiping her eyes as she lifts the Tupperwares she’s carrying. ‘You better come in.’

Her body still feels heavy as she heads up the stairs to her flat, Jacob in tow. In her kitchen she gets them two glasses of water, feeling embarrassed at how much of a state of chaos her open plan studio is in the first time he’s seeing it.

‘May I?’ Jacob asks, and lightly takes over setting up their teatime plates of brownies and pastries, and pouring her mocha over star-shaped ice from her freezer, into one of her chunky pink bubble glasses, with a metal straw.

‘Iced mocha for Adriana?’ he calls, like he’s her barista.

Adriana raises her hand playing along. ‘That’s me!’

He hands it over and sits on the armchair opposite her on the sofa, bringing the smiling cloud shaped pillow from his back onto his lap, seemingly unconsciously stroking it softly. For a moment Adriana has a vision of the two of them, just being able to be silly like this, having these gentle, mundane moments together, sharing tea and cake. She wants it so much she starts tearing up again and the thought it can’t be like this.

Jacob sits leaning forwards, arms on his knees and she wonders if this is how he looks when he is preparing for one of his big pitch meetings.

‘Can I tell you something, Addy?’

She nods.

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