Page 42 of Sort of Seeing Someone

“Fine. You want to play hard ball? Put your palm on mine,” Nora says, holding up her hand like she’s giving me the Scout’s honor. Still, I say nothing, and I do nothing.

“Or don’t. Because you won’t see anything anyway. Did you discover that fun-fact aboutExexveei yet?That when you touch the palms of normal people, you’ll get a vision. But when you touch the hand of another person with the same gift as you, you’ll see nothing?”

As soon as she name drops Exexveei, I know something is officially up with the Miller girls.

“Nora and I both have it, too. We inherited it from Mom,” a soft-spoken Olivia says, as if she’s explaining where we get our matching bra size from.

I haven’t nearly begun to process what I’m hearing. But my mind flashes back once again to my session with Esther.Live amongst those who are just like you.I could have never imagined that when she said “just like me”, she meant some secret super power that I share with my sisters like it’s a genetic mutation.

Back to the conversation, it dawns on me that with their confession comes the realization that they absolutely never let any of this on—an impossible secret to keep, in my opinion. How did they do it? And why?

“So no courtesy heads up for me?” I ask, finally taking that seat next to my sister at her table. “No one here thought, ‘Hey, maybe someone should tell Moonie she’s going to turn into a freak when she turns 26.’?”

“By the time you were old enough to understand what couldpotentiallyhappen to you on your twenty-sixth birthday, Mom had stopped practicing her gift completely and we were sworn to secrecy about it all.”

“Dad found out what she had been teaching us and he shut it down—he was so creeped out, calling it ‘black magic’ and reminding Mom what happened in Salem, Massachusetts to witches back in the day.”

“So wearewitches?” I ask.

“No, we’re just…special. Anyway, by the time you were in pre-school, we never spoke about it again and they were already divorced.”

“But that didn’t stop us from both experiencing Exexveei when we turned twenty-six,” Liv adds. “We just never did anything with our powers. Dad put the fear in us that if we were witches—or anything close to it, then we would scare away the only people who could ever love us. That’s why Dad left Mom and, well, it’s why I’m not chancing anything with Ted. Especially not now when we’re trying to conceive.”

By now, I have no choice but to believe them. All of this is too elaborate and too specific to be anything but an authentic display of sisterly solidarity as they intended.

Look, I don’t know much about our dad given the timeline and circumstances regarding his departure from our family. And at twenty-six years old, that doesn’t feel good to say. Most people my age are getting engaged and thinking about what songs they’ll dance to with their dads at their weddings. But not me. I don’t even know his address to send a Christmas card. And I wouldn’t even send him one if I did.

I was always under the impression my dad left my mom due to irreconcilable differences. After all, that’s what it says on their divorce papers and it was a palatable concept as a kid to understand. “Mommy and Daddy are fighting too much, so they both are going to take a time out.” The time out never ended, which clearly was for the better.

As much as I wish I didn’t come from a broken home, I would never want my mother to have to choose between beingwho she isand beingwho someone else wants her to be. Especially when that someone else was supposed to love and accept her unconditionally. That’s what marriage is, right? My dad may have been the one to leave my mom, but my mom is definitely the one who broke free. I’ve never been more proud of my mom for following her heart and living a simple life throwing pottery inSedona. Plus it gives me a little insight as to why she is so bad with her phone. She’s got a lot of living to do.

But now, it’s my turn for questions.

“I don’t get it. Mom and Dad have been split forsolong. Why have you never told me—even after he left?”

“First of all, we didn’t expect anything to happen to you until you turned twenty-six,” explainsLiv. “Then, we thought if we kept it dormant for two decades, there would be a chance you would be skipped. When your birthday came, and you didn’t mention anything about visions afterward, we were all convinced our silence left you spared.”

“Clearly, that’s not the case and you’re special just like us. The only difference is thatLivand I don’t practiceExexveei, or anything woo-woo for that matter, at all. Ever.”

“Does Esteban know you’re special? Ted?”

Nora answers first.

“Esteban is a math guy. He thinks in numbers, not words. And definitely not woo-woo.”

I take that as a no.

“And Ted’s a scientist-turned-veterinarian with a specialty in French bulldog nasal cavities. Our dinner conversation is already elevated enough. We don’t need to mix pseudo-witchcraft in with all that.”

I take that as another no.

“And there’s no part of you now that wants to…I don’t know…see if you still got it? Take it for a little spin?” I ask the room, wondering if they really can blame a childhood fear of my dad on not exploring the most curious part of our ‘special’ lives.

“I’m already a mom of two.”

“And I’m on my way to being a mom.”

“So?” I ask, wondering if this is some version of childless-cat-lady-shaming.

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