Page 62 of Sort of Seeing Someone

“Say what?” Angeline is shocked. “That’s not how Exexveei is supposed to work.”

“I know that,” I say, reminding myself of what Liv told me after the manicure training session. “It’s never about us. It’s supposed to be visions of other people and other peopleonly.”

“Hmmm. Something seems to be misfiring. But, is that such a bad thing? To know what you’re in for?”

“The vision I had was of me possibly having sex with this Swedish engineer. You be the judge.”

“In that case, I’ll take a life sentence. Swedes are fabulous lovers, honey. And an engineer is probably great with his hands. I once hooked up with my building’s super and let me tell you…” Angeline thankfully stops there and goes back to sorting a new shipment of crystals. I’ve officially lost her interest.

“No, no, no, Angeline. You don’t understand. I don’t want to know what’s going to happen with this guy.”

“What’s his name? Ludvig? Gustav?” Angeline is clearly going through her Rolodex of Swedish lovers.

“Ollie,” I say. “It’s Ollie.”

“Come with me on this,” she begins. “If you know ahead of time whether or not it’s going to work out, you can decide if you want to waste your time seeingOllie.”

“Sure. That’s one side of the coin,” I explain. “The other? I’m not jonesing to know his penis size, shape, how long he’s going to last, or what kind of kink he’s into when I’m trying to learn things like, I don’t know, his favorite animal?”

“Honey, people would pay big money for X-rated intel. I still have a jump-scare every time I encounter an uncircumcised penis.”

I cringe at the thought of Angeline face-to-face with male genitalia, but I put the image aside in the name of getting help.

“Look, I see your point. I really do. But Ollie and I have already touched palms twice and something tells me we’re going to do it again. And the next time it happens, it may not be just an accidental brushing. We might touch each other because we actually want to.”

“You like this guy, huh?”

“Ugh.”

“I don’t speak Gen-Z. Should I take that as a ‘yes’?”

“Ollie is the first guy that I’ve hung out with since being back in Chicago,” I begin to explain. “We had a bit of a rough start, but it turns out we’re…kind of compatible? Point is, I’d like to eat deep dish pizza with him for dinner without knowing if I’ll be giving him a blow job for dessert, capeesh? Plus, I already know he’s really not super into all this woo-woo stuff. It’s best if I can keep it somewhat chill. At least for now.”

“Are you sure that’s not what this is really about?” Angeline asks. “That the two of you will stop being so cutesy compatible once he finds out the extent of your abilities?”

When Angeline asks me, I think about my mom; divorced because my dad was too freaked out by her. I also think about Olivia and Nora and the way they’ve decided to live a part of their lives in complete secrecy from their husbands who most likely couldn’t handle the truth. I quickly convince myself that this is not that. This is more about me than him.

“I just don’t want to get lost in a vision of him going down on me every time we accidentally brush hands. Can you see how that could be alittledisruptive during the getting-to-know-each-other phase?”

“Wait. You saw him going down on you? How was it? Did you…”

“Angeline! Please. Can you just stay focused and help me?”

She fans herself with her inventory sheet and apologizes for her head being in the gutter.

“Here, I brought this with me. It belonged to my mom. There’s got to be something in here to help turn down the volume on my visions.”

Angeline grabs her readers from the chest pocket of heroversizedtie-dye t-shirt and rests them on the bridge of her nose. She carries the secrets and spells book to the counter and sets it down. She licks her pointer finger as she thumbs through the yellowed pages of the old book filled with my mom’s handwritten notes.

“I don’t know, Moonie. This all just sort of looks like jumbled notes. Why don’t you just give your mom a quick call and ask her yourself?”

“I tried. No answer. Only you can save me now, my spiritual queen.”

“Kid, I’m flattered. I really am. I just don’t know—”

“Please.”

Angeline stares deep into my desperate eyes before taking a breath and returning her attention to the spell book.

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