Page 115 of Fielder's Choice

She gives me a solemn smile. “Your grandparents died in early February. I think it’s safe to assume today would be the anniversary of your grandfather’s death.”

I let out a breath and look to the ground. “Yeah… Thursday is my grandmother’s.”

“I’m sure this is hard for you. Don’t feel bad about forgetting to let me know you weren’t going to be at the studio today.”

“You don’t have to be here,” I sigh. “This is just going to be a den of sadness for the next few days.”

“Lane,” she says, tipping my face up to meet my gaze, and I know she can read every emotion I’m feeling right now. “I’m here because Iwantto be here. You don’t have to do this alone.”

I close my eyes and try to steady myself, afraid I’ll break down if I don’t. “Thank you, Olive. How did you get up here, though?”

She gives me a shy smile. “I might have borrowed Rory’s elevator key.”

I can’t stop the laugh that escapes me at her determination to be here. “Thank you, Ballerina. I usually prefer to be alone for this, but I’m really happy you’re here.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Hotshot,” she assures me. “I’m here to help take care of you and Sage. So, you just relax and let me help.”

Olive gives me a soft kiss before heading out to the living room. “Hi, Sage.”

“Owive!” my daughter shrieks, excitedly jumping on the sofa.

“Wanna hang out with me today, sweet girl? I was thinking we could start with a tea party!”

“Yes, yes, yes!” Sage chants as Liv scoops her up and starts toward the hallway.

And I just watch as they go.

I’ve always wanted to do this alone.

I’ve never wanted anyone to see me so down.

I’m the guy that’s never serious. The one that can make a joke out of everything. The one that’s always down for a good time.

I know my friends have seen me like this before, but not letting them see me like this now lets me pretend that I’m still that guy.

But I’m not.

My grandparents’ deaths broke me, and I was only reset when I found out about my daughter.

I still try to not be too serious, to make jokes, to have fun, but deep down, that’s not all I am.

I’m a dad who still struggles sometimes with feelings of inadequacy.

I’m a professional baseball player who still has to fight his demons.

I’m that five-year-old boy wondering what my grandparents meant when they told me my parents wouldn’t be coming home.

I’ve come a long way, but I’ll never be perfect.

I’ll just keep fighting through the darkness to get to the next better day.

And since I met Olive, I’ve had a lot more better days.

“Do you want a drink, Lane?” Olive asks as she throws our takeout containers away.

She’s been an absolute godsend today. She spent so much time with Sage, letting her have fun instead of just sitting in front of the TV while I wallow.

Later, she had Rory and Cole come pick my daughter up so they could watch her for a couple of days, letting me relax and cope without having to stress over being a dad while I did.

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