Page 46 of Fielder's Choice

“No,” Lane replies, looking down. “My parents died when I was five. Car wreck. I was raised by my grandparents. They both passed a few months before I found out I was going to be a dad.”

“I’m so sorry, Lane. Your grandparents passed at the same time, too?”

“Almost,” he says, words slightly choked. “They were in their late seventies, so they already both had health issues. Pap passed in early February from a stroke. He and Gran had been together since they were sixteen, so she was devastated. Takotsubo cardiomyopathy took her a couple days later.”

“What’s that?”

“Broken heart syndrome. A sudden weakening of the heart that impacts the way it pumps blood. It can be caused byphysical stress, but emotional stress can cause it, too, such as losing a loved one after spending more than three-quarters of your life together. Gran literally died of a broken heart after Pap was gone. She just couldn’t carry on without him.”

I place my hand on top of his. “I can’t imagine how difficult that was for you. And then to find out a few months later that you were having a child.”

Lane lets out a breath. “I was in areallydark place when I found out, but Sage is exactly what I needed. I got myself put back together so I could be there for her. I don’t know where I would be right now if I didn’t have her.”

“I’m glad she’s here, too,” I smile softly. “You’re an incredible person, Lane, and I’m glad I get to know you now.”

“The darkness still comes sometimes, but it’s far less frequent than it used to be.”

I lower my voice. “I know exactly what that’s like.”

“You’ve gone through something, haven’t you?”

I force myself to meet his eyes. “When I was seventeen. Something happened, and my life spiraled. I dropped out of high school. I shut myself out from the outside world. I didn’t speak to anyone but my family, and I hardly even spoke to them. It’s been a slow process, and I’m still healing, but the darkness isn’t constant like it used to be.”

Lane rubs his thumb over the top of my hand to comfort me. “I can’t imagine seeing you without a light in your eyes.”

“Do I have a light in my eyes?”

“You do around me, at least.”

I still. “Oh.”

“You don’t have to read into that, Liv. I can’t speak to how you are around everyone, but I can see happiness in you when we’re together. Whether or not I have any part in that, I don’t know.”

“I think you might,” I whisper. “I was getting better before I met you, but I feel pieces of the old Olive coming back with the way you are to me. I feel… adored.”

He cups my jaw in his hand and turns my face to meet his. “Because you are, Olive. I haven’t known you long, and I don’t know what it is about you, but I fucking adore you. My daughter loves spending time with you.Ilove spending time with you. I want to get to know the deepest parts of you.”

I swallow uneasily. “What does that mean?”

Lane lets out a breath and looks up at the ceiling before turning back to me. “I want to know everything about you… but I want more than that, too. I won’t deny it. It’s more than just physical desires, but I do have those as well.”

My voice is shaky. “Lane, I have a confession. I’m a… virgin.”

I loathe that word. I can’t help but feel like it doesn’t belong to me, but it’s the easiest thing to go with when I don’t want to just unload all of my trauma.

“A… virgin?”

I bring my hands up and cover my face. “Yes. I know that’s weird, and I don’t know what you think about that, and I—”

“Olive.” His voice is stern but gentle, and his eyes radiate nothing but warmth. “It’s not weird to be a virgin. I’m not going to pressure you to doanything, okay? I promise. All I want right now is to keep getting to know you. Is that okay?”

“Y-yes. I’d like that.”

Just like that, my nerves have dissipated. I know the girls told me earlier that Lane wouldn’t be bothered by that, but hearing it from him solidifies it.

But what will he think when he learns how much more there is behind that word?

sixteen

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