Page 79 of No One Else

“For me, it was just someone who constantly teased the crap out of me for years and ripped the heads off my Barbies. Then when he got old enough, he decided I was too much of a baby and ignored me.”

He rubs my back and I don’t realize for a second how tense I am until my shoulders relax under his hand. “Sorry,” I grimace. “I don’t know where that came from.”

“Maybe that’s why you like control. Because you felt like you didn’t have it around him.”

“I- I never thought of it like that before.” I turn toward him, setting my empty plate down on the coffee table. “Do you think I’m a control freak?”

He startles, then laughs. “Not in a bad way.”

“Is there a good way to be a freak?”

“Stop saying the word freak.” He puts his hand over my mouth, eliciting a grin from me. “My girlfriend’s not a freak.” He leans closer, whispering into my ear, “Maybe in bed, though.”

I swat his arm, glancing over at Pete, whose head is now slumped slightly to the side, totally asleep.

“Let me get him in his room,” Evan says, getting up off the couch and going over to the recliner.

I make myself busy collecting the empty plates and take them in the kitchen to wash them up, then put away the rest of the food in the fridge.

I sit back down on the couch when I’m finished, Evan joining me a few minutes later, and he tugs me into his side. I lay my head on his chest as we watch the end of the game. The Rays score another point, but it’s still not enough to beat the Braves.

A movie comes on after that, some Adam Sandler comedy I know I’ve seen before but can’t remember the specifics of, and Evan relaxes further into the cushions. I follow suit, not wanting to leave the comfort of his arms just yet, and by twenty minutes in, we’re lying down, my back against his front, my head cushioned on his bicep.

It feels delicious lying here with him like this, the normal everyday kind of thing I’d like to do more of, his arm draped over my waist, the top of my head tucked under his chin. The comfortableness of it, the familiarity, has me relaxing further into him, my eyelids heavy.

I can’t remember doing anything this mundane with Carter. We always had to be out to dinner, out with his friends, out at a party. And if I wanted to stay home, he just went out anyway. It got to the point where we stopped seeing each other often because he wasn’t willing to compromise.

The more I think about it, the more I realize how much my brother and Carter are alike. Doing whatever they want to me, my own wants be damned. Ignoring me when it’s convenient for them. Maybe that’s why I never pushed back against Carter when he insisted on his way. I was already used to that dynamic with Jason.

This thing with Evan, though... it’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced. The way he knows when I need to have control and when he should take it. The sense of safety yet exhilaration, knowing I can trust him with my whole heart as I take blind leaps of faith with him.

I’ve known him for so long, yet I’m discovering new sides to him all the time. Appreciating in new ways those qualities I listed about him that day at the campus bookstore. Dependability. Security. Trust.

He had said those things weren’t exciting, wouldn’t get him noticed. I startle, realizing now he meant me. Those things wouldn’t get him noticed by me.

“What is it?” he asks, stroking his hand over my stomach.

“Nothing,” I whisper, closing my eyes again, focusing on his fingers moving idly, the subtle shaking of his body as he laughs at something on the screen, the heat of him against my back.

But like I told him, those qualities are important, especially to me. I couldn’t date anyone else so soon if I didn’t absolutely know I could trust them. That they would never hurt me. Always be there for me.

Solid, both physically and emotionally. My rock.

“I love you,” I murmur, snuggling deeper into the couch, into him.

His fingers go still, but I’m already drifting off, safe and warm in his embrace.

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