Page 97 of No One Else

“I won’t,” she promises. “But you can’t keep going on like this. You look miserable.”

“What can I do?” I spread my palms helplessly, as if some kind of magic solution will fall into my hands.

She chews on her lip, her face set in fierce concentration. “Carter’s blackmailing you... so maybe you can get something on him to turn the tables.”

“Blackmail him back?” I sit up, excited now. “With what?”

“Well, I don’t know. That’s your job.”

Damn it. I was afraid she’d say that.

***

OUR PRESENTATION GOESflawlessly, Evan smoothly stepping in whenever I cue him, the two of us working in sync like we’ve been doing it for years. It only reminds me of what a good team we make, how well we fit together.

He doesn’t show a hint of antagonism toward me the entire time, even sitting down easily next to me at our table up front as we watch the other group presentations afterward. It gives me hope that maybe things can be normal between us again, back to how it was last year. Not that I want to just be friends with him again, but I’ll take whatever I can get. Now I know how he must have felt at the beginning of the semester, making up Sarah as an excuse to stay close to me.

When Dr. Kaufman calls it a day Evan springs up from his seat, rushing out the door. I quickly zip my bag, pushing through my classmates to get out the door faster. If only I was taller, I could see where he went... there, up by the math building. The same one we had that moment at during the rainstorm.

“Evan!” I call out, still dodging people to catch up to him. There’s no way he can’t hear me because even people ahead of him turn around, but he powers on anyway. “Evan, I know you hear me! I just want to talk!” I yell, making a scene. He finally slows down, veering off the sidewalk and toward a secluded spot.

I jog over, breathing heavy by the time I reach him. The ease he showed in class is completely gone, his body tight with tension, avoiding my gaze. “What do you want?”

“I-” My mind goes blank, realizing I don’t actually have anything to say to him. After that incident yesterday, though, I can’t leave things like that between us. “You did good in there. For the presentation. Considering we didn’t practice.”

He nods, rolling his shoulders back like he’s uncomfortable, calling attention to that body I miss so bad. The urge to cling tight and never let go washes over me, but I resist.

“How are you doing?” I ask quietly when he makes like he’s going to leave.

He finally meets my eye, his eyebrows raised in disbelief. “You flagged me down in front of all those people so you could ask how I’m doing?”

I bite my lip, shifting from foot to foot, his anger spiking my anxiety.

“All things considered, I’m doing pretty shitty, Natalie.” He blows out a breath and laces both hands behind his neck, agitation pouring off him. “I forced myself not to say anything at work yesterday about it, but if you’re gonna pry, here it is. You said I should trust you, you were done with Carter. Then I see pictures of the two of you online. So I don’t know what to think about everything you ever told me. Was it all a lie? Were you just trying to make him jealous?”

“No,” I insist, reaching for him.

He moves backward, out of my grasp, the action sending a sharp stab through my chest. “I mean, I get now that you wanted him to kiss you-”

“I didn’t,” I interject before my brain can catch up with my mouth.

“Yeah, okay,” he says bitterly. I’ve never seen him this cynical. It breaks my heart that I’ve turned him into this.

“Anything with Carter was independent of you.” I don’t know why I’m defending myself. It would be easier to keep the lie going if he hates me. But I can’t seem to accept the reality, even the possibility, that he might hate me. He’s been my rock, my constant. I can’t let him go, even though it’ll keep him safe.

“You promised there would never be anyone else,” he says darkly, looking at me in a way I’ve never seen from him. Like I’m a stranger. Someone he doesn’t recognize. My insides twist. “And for me, there never will be.” His face morphs into something so distraught, so mournful, it knocks the breath out of me. “Have a good life with Carter.”

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