Page 99 of No One Else

I glance up and catch him looking at me, the confusion on his face completely endearing. I can tell he wants to be mad, anger still coursing through him, and I can’t blame him. If the roles were reversed, after everything I’ve put him through, I wouldn’t give him the time of day.

I approach him carefully, his breaths picking up the closer I get, and wrap my arms around him. His body is stiff, refusing to return my affection, but that’s okay. I’ll win back his trust eventually. I have to believe that. Without that hope, I’ll go insane.

“I’m mad at you,” he declares, even as he lets me clutch at him, pressing in as close as I can, soaking up every last bit of him. “Furious.”

“I know you are,” I mumble into his chest. “I deserve it.”

He doesn’t return my embrace, but after a moment I feel the lightest stroking of my hair, his touch sending shivers through me. I wore it down around my shoulders today, knowing he likes it that way. Should I invite that kind of familiarity? No, but it’s too late now. I’m too far down the rabbit hole.

“You broke my heart,” he whispers, his voice catching.

I hug him tighter, my own heart breaking at the torture I’ve put him through.

“I know I did. But you can trust me. I promise.”

He bends his head down to skim his nose along the crook of my neck, causing me to shudder with how good it feels, then steps back a final time, the loss of him like a knife to the chest. I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly cold after the warmth of his embrace.

“Carter may be a cheater, but I’m not,” he says, tucking his hands in his pockets. “And whatever game this is you’re playing, I don’t want any part of it.”

“No,” I deny. “It’s not what you think.” I pace a few steps, wanting to confess everything, but unsure if what I have is enough for Carter to let all this go. “Evan, I’ve only ever lied to you one time. To protect you.”

His gaze flicks between my eyes, his mind working to make sense of how weird I’m acting. “Protect me from what?”

I sigh. “Do you remember how you made up Sarah?”

He takes a further step back, digging the stake deeper in my heart at his wariness.

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad or guilty,” I assure him. “I’m reminding you that you did it to spare my feelings. Right?”

His face goes back to confused for a second before he scoffs, “What, are you saying you broke up with me to spare my feelings?”

To spare you. Period. “I can’t explain it right now, but know that I always have your best interests at heart. Always.”

“How can I believe that?”

“You have to,” I plead, all earlier reasoning to keep him safe and away from me gone. I can’t go on like this, having him mad at me, untrusting. My heart can’t take any more. “Please, Evan. Just trust me.”

“Natalie, you can’t...” He runs his hands through his hair, his eyes going a little wild. “You can’t just barge back into my life like this, telling me to trust you without making any sense. Do you know how hard these past few weeks have been trying to get over you?”

Don’t get over me. Anything but that.“Please,” I whisper.

“Why are you making this difficult?”

“Please,” I repeat. “Can you trust me?”

He shuts down all emotion on his face, giving me no clue to what he’s thinking, but I know mine must look desperate, all the longing out in the open, how torn up I am inside plain for him to see.

He gives me a long, searching gaze then shakes his head sadly. “How can I?”

My body tenses, the weight that’s been pressing on me all these weeks multiplying until my knees buckle. I brace my hand against the brick siding of the building for support. “I’m going to make this right,” I promise him, infusing my voice with confidence. I need him to believe me.

“Make what right? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I wring my hands together in front of me. “I can’t tell you.”

“So you want me to trust you about something you can’t tell me?”

I shrug helplessly, knowing I look like the flakiest person ever right now. “It’s a blind leap of faith. Please have faith in me.”

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