Page 69 of Frosting and Flames

“This needs about fifteen minutes to cool,” she says, turning back to me from the other side of the kitchen counter.

That’s perfect. I don’t want to lose the momentum we’ve gained.

“I didn’t mean to make that conservation all about me,” I tell her. “But when you mentioned trust, I felt like I had to get that off my chest.”

She nods, but stays quiet.

I clear my throat, knowing I’ve never been great with words, but for Rachel, I have to try. “I’d like to earn your trust.”

She looks back at me, still silent, her eyes wide. There’s some kind of emotion swimming in them, but I can’t tell what. Fear? Hope?

“Others have let you down,” I say quietly. “And I don’t want to be another name on that list. I want you to know you can depend on me. That I take your trust seriously. If I earn it. I want to be someone you can put your faith in.”

Her lips part, as if I caught her off guard. “Okay,” she says in a shaky voice.

“I know it isn’t something you hand over easily. It’s easy to tell you I’d never hurt you, but they’re only words. Actions speak louder. To me, at least.”

She nods in agreement.

“But what I will say,” I continue, “is what I said on your porch is true. I’ve had a thing for you for a long time. And if you took a chance on me, I’d never waste it.”

She swallows hard, looking more and more like she might cry. I don’t think that’s a good sign, but I press on anyway. I have to get this out while I can.

“I don’t need an answer or response about any of it right now. I just wanted you to know. And I’m here if you ever want anything more.”

She nods again, pressing her lips together tightly, and rounds the counter to hug me.

I rock backward for a second, surprised, until I gain my footing and wrap my arms around her in return, cautiously at first, afraid she might slip away. To have her willingly press against me like this, her body warm and soft… My heart clenches in a way that almost hurts. Like maybe I’m halfway to earning that trust I so desperately crave.

She’s still silent, but it doesn’t feel heavy. More like something fragile, but real. A tenuous connection I grab onto with both hands, afraid to lose it again. I want to stay in this moment, memorize every second of it. The way her fingers curl lightly into the fabric of my shirt. The way her head rests against my chest.

She leaves all too soon, though, letting go and taking a step back as she wipes under her eyes. “Sorry,” she mumbles.

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“I feel like I’m jerking you around and I don’t want to be like that. I’d hate if someone did that to me.”

She looks like she has more she wants to say, so I wait.

Her weight shifts from foot to foot, glancing at me then away as she sticks her hands in her pockets. “You’re right that trust isn’t something I give easily, especially lately. I don’t want to gethurt again. But that’s not fair to you, when you’ve done nothing but show me over and over you’re here for me.”

She looks at me, her hazel eyes a mesmerizing mix of green and honey-brown, clear and hopeful. “I really like you, Nick. Even if that scares me a little.”

My pulse pounds loud in my ears, wanting to believe I heard her right, but a part of me is afraid to move, afraid to breathe for fear the moment will slip away. I’ve spent so long sure that my feelings for her were one-sided, that there’s no way I could atone for my past mistakes. But she said she forgives me, that she was never angry to begin with.

Warmth trickles through my chest, equal parts relief and exhilaration, all the words I should be saying jumbling together in my throat that’s suddenly gone parched.

I swallow hard. “I really like you, too.” It’s all I can seem to manage.

“Maybe we can take things slow,” she whispers.

I nod before she’s finished, embarrassed at my eagerness, but she seems to like it from the way she smiles, biting her lip as she looks up at me shyly.

Unable to help myself, I slide my hand around the back of her neck, loving how her eyes drift shut, a dreamy expression on her face as I bend to kiss her. The touch of her soft lips is a homecoming, and I purposefully keep it light, not wanting to scare her off again.

This time is a gentle exploration, learning the shape of her lips. I ache to grip her waist and tug her in tight against my body, to press her against the counter and let her feel exactly how much she turns me on.

But if she wants to take things slow, I’m right there with her. I want her to be comfortable.

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