Page 35 of Christmas Rings

Jed did the same with the ring from Mitch. “With this ring, I thee wed.”

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Everyone, I present Mr. and Mrs. Marsh.”

A roar erupted, much louder than the small crowd warranted.

“You may now kiss,” the pastor said.

They did so, lingering for longer than they should on this first kiss as a married couple. When they looked up, Alissa saw that there was not a dry eye in the group.

“Let’s party,” Alissa said. “I’m starving.”

Jed grinned and took her hand. “Lead the way, beautiful wife.”

As Alissa lay in her groom’s arms in the early morning, when the world was still dark, she woke and listened to him breathe. She thought of all the twists and turns of her life, and how they led her to this man. An image of her mother and father on a Christmas morning when she was six or seven came to her. They’d sat on the couch holding hands and watched her open presents.Someday, she’d thought then,I’ll have a love like they do. I’ll have a handsome husband and babies of my own.

Someday was now. Her mother and father were still with her, watching over her. There were many joyous times to come with her sisters, Mom and Nan.

She shifted to snuggle closer to him. He pulled her close and murmured her name. She drifted off, warm and safe. Someday was now.

Chapter 10

The honeymoon was like a wonderful dream. Each day sparkled with joy as they basked in the warmth of their love. And the cabin? It was like something out of a storybook. Dark walls and a stone fireplace plus a darling kitchen were perfect for their first days as a married couple. During the days, they traipsed around the property on snowshoes, falling often but laughing more. In the afternoons, they’d get in the hot tub with just their heads and faces exposed until they were too hot and had to get out and shower together. Which led to some afternoon bedroom time. Evenings were spent cooking together or eating takeout from the lodge. After dark, they poured wine and curled up in front of the fire.

One night, four days into married life, they sat on the couch holding hands. The gas fireplace cast a warm glow over the room as they shared a bottle of Washington Syrah. A small plastic tree sparkled with white lights.

“I’ve been thinking about my childhood,” Jed said, surprising her. They hadn’t spent much time talking about his parents, almost like they had an unsaid agreement to stay away from the subject. However, it was bound to come up.His parents, whether or not they were physically present, were part of their lives. One never escaped their childhood. It lived inside, affecting everything one did or thought. “I don’t know why but I can’t stop remembering things. Moments I haven’t thought of for years and years.”

“Like what?”

“We used to go to somewhere tropical every year. I’d spend most of the time with our nanny while my parents golfed with friends or whatever. I always dreamed of a place like this. With snow and fires at night. With family.”

“My family is yours now,” Alissa said.

“Do you think they forgive me yet? Like for real?” He let go of her hand to scoot forward for his glass of wine.

“Yes, even Stevie.” Alissa cringed, remembering the mutilated cake tops. That story would definitely become family lore. “She just loves me so fiercely and you too. We made her believe in love and when we shattered, it shattered her too.”

“I hope she’ll trust me again.” His voice shook before he took a sip from his glass, then set it back on the table. “After everything you girls went through, I hate to think I caused her pain.”

“It’s okay. That’s not how we do things in our family. We do second chances and forgiveness and a whole lot of grace. The expectation of perfection is not there. Look at how Mom reacted to my big secret. I feel dumb now.”

He brushed his knuckles against her cheek. “Until I met you, I never knew what it felt like to be safe or loved unconditionally.”

“Oh, Jed, that makes me sad.”

His eyes misted over as he moved his gaze back to the fire. “I can remember being ten years old. My father and I were on the way home from a basketball game. I’d played poorly and he berated me the entire ten miles home. My focus was crap. I looked like a toddler out there compared to the other kids. I’d embarrassed him in front of the other parents. People feltsorry for me and Marshes were never to be pitied. By then, I’d started to cry, all slumped in the back seat. Then, more furious than I’d ever seen him, he called me a crybaby.” Jed’s voice cracked. “He never came to another one of my games.”

Her chest ached with pity and rage. How dare he do that to a little boy? Especially one like Jed, who Alissa knew did nothing but give one hundred percent to everything he tried. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I’m so sorry.” Tears prickled her own eyes as she tried to get control of her emotions.

“When my mom pulled that stunt before the wedding—it was like I was that ten-year-old kid again…feeling like I was a worthless piece of crap. The very last thing I wanted was to drag you into that place too. I couldn’t bear to think they’d ever hurt you like they did me.” He turned back to her. “Your family isn’t like anyone I’ve ever known. The way they accepted me back into the fold despite what happened. I’m so humbled by it. So grateful.” Tears gathered at the corners of his eyes. “Baby, I’m broken. That’s just the truth. I’m still that little boy in here.” He tapped his chest. “I want so badly to be everything you need but sometimes I wonder if I have it in me.”

“You’re already everything to me. I don’t need you to be strong all the time. I simply need you to be real. To choose me over everyone else. We’re a team now. I want to see your brokenness and be there with you in the dark places. Just as you will be there for me. Together we can make a life we’re proud of. There will be no doubt about how much I love you or how worthy you are of my love.”

He kissed her softly, then smoothed stray hair from her face. “You’re so good and beautiful. I’m scared all the time that I’m going to let you down. I want everything perfect for you.”

“No one’s life is ever perfect,” Alissa said. “The beauty’s found in life’s imperfections. When my parents died, I was devastated. I didn’t think I’d ever feel joy again. And thenMaddie found me and gave me a new home and sisters. Out of all that tragedy—both mine and hers—grew love. Such tremendous love from all the broken places in each of us. Together, life became beautiful again.”

“Here in this quiet place, I can see how my life has been a dead run just all the time.” He closed his eyes. “I was tired and so weary of the rat race and expectations of my parents. Except for the moments with you, life was nothing but obligation. You gave me life. Woke me up. Made me realize what I really want.”

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