Page 93 of Devious Madness

“You got caught up in a mess of your ex-boyfriend’s doing. Everything that happened after that is Marco’s doing.” He runs the back of his knuckles along my jaw, and I know he means for it to be comforting, but it only makes the guilt harder to breathe around.

“It’s not right others having to pay for my choices.”

“We’re not ‘others,’ we’re your family now. Megan would kill Alexander in his sleep if anything happens to you.” His eyebrows lift. “And I would be devastated if something happened. I will protect you with my life, Mira. By now, you should know I mean what I say.”

I stare into his eyes, searching for the signs of bullshit. He’s saying the right things, and in the right way, and it’s making me feel all the feels that I’ve been desperately trying not to feel for him. But doubt creeps in, anyway.

“I do.” My shoulders drop, the weight too much to bear. “But what if I’ve done something unforgivable? You’d all be better without me here.”

He narrows his eyes.

“That is not true, no matter what you think you’ve done.”

He has no idea what he’s saying because he doesn’t knowhow all of this is my fault. And if I tell him, he’ll see what a true fuck-up I really am. He’ll see how dangerous I can be. But if I tell him, maybe we can get it all fixed and Megan won’t have to be in danger anymore.

I’ll lose her, and him, but they’d all be safe.

“All right.” I give an exaggerated sigh. “I won’t get my own apartment. I’ll keep an armed guard with me at all times. I won’t even try to get a job yet.”

A hint of a smile touches his lips. “Then you can go shopping. Two armed guards at all times and you listen to every word they say. Yes?”

“Of course. Every word.”

“Or…”

“Or you’ll make me regret it. I understand.” I give a nod so he sees I’m taking him seriously.

He pulls back, his eyes still searching me. How can this man who has known me such a short time know me better than anyone else in my life? He senses something’s wrong, but thankfully he doesn’t push it.

“All right then. Max and Sergei will be with you today. I’ll let them know.” He cups the back of my head, bringing me closer to him. “Behave today, Mira. I want you safely tucked in bed when I get home tonight. Understood?”

I let myself get lost in his eyes for the moment, letting the warm current of happiness and security his touch brings me flow through me. It’s dangerous allowing myself this moment, because it has to end.

All of this has to end.

“I promise, Rurik. On my best behavior today.” I paste asmile on my lips, even though the ache in my chest at lying straight to him is getting worse as the moments pass.

“Use your card; buy anything you want. The account replenishes when it dips below a certain amount, so it will never decline.”

“I really don’t need your money, Rurik.”

“I take care of what’s mine.” He brushes his lips across mine.

Softly at first, and then again, harder, until he captures my mouth beneath his. Possession. It’s the same every time he kisses me. Each time I believe a little more that he’s right, that I belong to him.

That I deserve that.

I’m breathless when he pulls back, but my resolve is the same. For his own protection, I have to do what’s right.

I have to make this all right.

“And you’re mine, Mira, even if you still need some time to accept it.”

I lick my lips, still tasting him there. “You think very highly of yourself, you know.”

“When I decide something, I don’t change my mind.”

“Oh, I bet there’s situations where you need to change your mind.” Like this one.

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