“Oh my god," she cries. “Moose! Is he okay?! What happened?” She reaches a hand out, then pulls it back to her chest, afraid to touch him. “Asim, what happened?”
Everything is moving too fast now. Moose is lying on a bed of puppy training pee pads. His fur is patchy, and there are raw red areas of skin showing. His back left haunch is entirely bandaged, and now the tears do spill over. Sweet Moose, what happened to him?
Asim sits down on the ground next to her about a foot away, keeping his distance. She wants nothing more than to pull him close or crawl into his lap, but he’s so closed off, giving her no signals, and she doesn’t know how to read this situation.
“Asim?” Everly whispers.
He nods, resigned, and begins talking.
“Moose is okay.” Asim’s voice is scratchy and strained. “He was inside when the building caught fire, but I was able to get him out. He has some burns where something fell on him, and likely some areas his fur won’t grow back, but overall he should make a full recovery.”
Everly is so relieved to hear this, the tears resume again in earnest.
Then he tells her about the fire itself. Everly listens quietly as he tells her he lost everything in the main building, including most of his personal possessions from his living area upstairs. Luckily, the fire was contained quickly enough that it didn’t spread to any of the greenhouses, and the majority of the plants are okay.
She’s glad he’s updating her, but he isn’t telling her any of what she wants to know. Where has he been staying? Is he really okay? And, selfishly, why hasn’t he contacted her? Everly tries to put these questions aside for now, respecting the boundary he has set for the moment.
“What caused it?” she asks, and Asim visibly flinches, looking away from her. Everly pulls back, confused by his reaction.
“The wiring," he mutters.
“The… wiring?”
“It was an electrical fire. I’ve been working on replacing large sections of the wiring, parts weredamaged and faulty. The original contractor cut corners and I was fixing it, but I didn’t get it all done when I needed to. It should have been done months ago. I guess it’s too late now…” Asim trails off, palming the back of his neck and looking over the ruins of his business and home.
Faulty wiring.
The blood drains from Everly’s face. Her head swims for a moment, the sudden lack of blood and shock of her realization making her dizzy. This is why he hasn’t been talking to her, because itisher fault. She’s been taking all of his time, and he tried to tell her he had work to do, but she didn’t realize it was so serious. Truthfully, she didn’t even give it a second thought. Guilt suffocates her, the reality of their situation drowning her in shame.
He said months ago—that must have been what he was buying at the hardware store the day they ran into each other. The pieces fall into place and her heart begins to bruise, her chest curling in on itself. Asim cancelled on her to work on it, and she didn’t ever ask if it was done or if he had more he needed to fix. Everly prioritized herself and her stupid terrace and then had the audacity to demand a date, as if she hadn’t already consumed enough of his time. She just took and took and took. She took all of him, and now he has paid the price.
Everly pulls herself up on shaking legs. No wonder he didn’t reach out to her, it all makes sense now. She can hardly see from the tears blurring her eyes, and swiping them away doesn’t help. They just fall faster.
She starts to back away, and Asim looks up at her, still seated on the ground next to Moose. His eyes are haunted, the dark shadows ringing them piercing her soul, tension lining his body. He looks exhausted. Everly’s eyes flick between him and Moose, and somehow, she hurts even more. She not only destroyed Asim’s life, his entire livelihood, but she put both him and his dog in danger, and Moose is suffering massively because of it.
“I’m sorry,” she manages to whisper the words, clenching the sobs inside her chest so they don’t escape. “I’m so, so sorry.”
Then she turns, and flees.
~~~
She only makes it as far as her car. Everly slumps into the driver’s seat, fumbles her keys as she tries to insert them into the ignition, vaguely hears them drop somewhere by her feet. She can’t drive like this anyways; she can hardly see through her blurry and swollen eyes.
Pulling her feet up onto the seat, Everly hugs her knees to her chest and hides her face in them. A few moments later, the passenger door opens and she has no doubt who it is. Asim drops heavily into the seat next to her, folding his large frame into her car. They don’t speak for minutes that feel like hours, and Everly hates this silence. It’s always been comfortable quiet between them, but this one is deafening.
Finally, Asim speaks. “I can’t let you go.”
He pauses and Everly holds her breath, keeping her eyes averted. In her periphery, he rubs his throat with his hand before he swallows hard and continues.
“I tried, I really did, but now that you’re here, I can’t. I can’t let you go, and for that I’m the one who is sorry.”
Everly blinks rapidly to clear her tears, then she turns her head on her folded arms, focusing on his chest because she can’t bear to see the hurt that is sure to be looking back at her from his eyes.
“I don’t blame you for trying," she says. “I would have tried to get rid of me too.” Everly picks her head up and looks around, staring again at the scorched rubble in front of them, then looking toward poor Moose lying uncomfortably under the table in the shade. “This is all my fault. I’ve cost you everything, and if you want me to go, I will. I understand.”
“Wait.” Asim’s brows furrow and he shakes his head, clears his throat. “None of this is your fault, Everly.”
He uses her full name, and it catches her attention. He rarely uses her full name since he started shortening it. She’s already shaking her head in response to his statement though.