Page 63 of Poinsettia Lane

“No, it is. If I hadn’t taken so much of your time, if I hadn’t insisted on going out on that date, or made you spend all of your free time with me," she says. “You eventold me you needed to fix the wiring and I didn’t think any further about it. I should have asked. I should have given you the space you needed, but I didn’t. I took everything from you.”

Her eyes fill with tears again and she turns her face away from him so he won’t see.

Of course, Asim doesn’t allow her to hide. He adjusts in his seat, angling himself toward her, and gently turns her face back to his.

“You didn’t ask, because I didn’t tell you. You didn’t know it was a bigger deal, because I hid it. I chose to spend my time with you, instead of on my responsibilities. I have always had a never ending to-do list for the shop, and I minimized this one all on my own.”

Asim’s green eyes hold her captive.

“I was fully aware of the choices I was making, Ever. I’m an adult, and the responsibility for my actions falls on me, and me alone. I won’t allow you to take any accountability for one tiny speck of this, do you understand?”

Everly nods, but he sees right through her agreement. Pinching his lips, he clenches his hands on his thighs and silence drenches them again.

“You probably have questions," he finally says.

“Are you okay?”

His eyebrows go up, apparently not expecting that one.

“I am. I needed some extra oxygen after I went in to get Moose, but nothing lasting or serious. Just some minor issues with my lungs and voice, as you can tell.”

“What about… mentally?” she asks.

Asim sighs, looking lost for a moment before he swipes a hand down his face. “That is going to take some time, I suppose.”

Everly nods silently.

They both look out the front window, absorbing the desolate view through heavy eyes. Everly doesn’t want to see it anymore, so she looks down at her hands instead.

“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out.” Asim’s voice is quiet and rough in the stillness between them.

“Why didn’t you?”

Her eyes flick to him before her gaze returns to her hands. She isn’t sure she wants the answer to that question, but it’s been hammering to be let out anyways.

“I… I didn’t want to put you in danger.” He shakes his head, trying to sort out his thoughts. “When it happened, you were the first person I thought of, but I didn’t even have time to text or call. I skipped the ambulance because I had to take Moose to the emergency vet, and then when he was stabilized I had to get myself checked out. Lungs and all that.” He waves his hand dismissively, but Everly can tell his voice is going to cut out soon. She reaches into the backseat for a bottle of water.

“My phone died, I didn’t have a charger at first because… well.” He averts his gaze, staring unfocused out the window away from her as he takes a sip, wincing when he swallows. “By the time things started to slow down, I realized my negligence nearly destroyed everything I care about. I couldn’t stand the thought that you could have been there. At any moment when you were here, it could have happened, and you could have been seriously hurt, or worse.”

Both of his hands sweep through his hair to clasp behind his neck, his head pinched between his forearms. His throat bobs with a hard swallow before he speaks again.

“What if it happens again? What if I overlook something else and I continue to put you in danger? I can’t risk that. That’s why I stayed away. I wrote you so many messages, only to delete them. My fingers hovered over your name every day, every hour, but the horrible image of you getting caught in something like this…” he flings his hand out, gesturing to the ruins in front of them.

Asim sighs, the sound belonging to someone twice his age, then he swings his head around and meets her eyes.

“You deserve more. You deserve better than me, better than what I can offer you. You deserve the best in the world, Ever, and I’m not it.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

SHE’S FLOORED BY his words. Asim thinks he doesn’t deserve her? They’ve both been blaming themselves, assuming the worst of themselves, when they really needed each other. It’s obvious he isn’t, and hasn’t been, thinking clearly with everything that happened, and Everly doesn’t blame him for a moment. It’s her who needs to get her head on straight and fix this.

Everly inhales a long breath, drops her feet from the seat, sets her shoulders back. Then she turns to Asim and cups his face in both of her hands, forcing his weary gaze to stay on hers.

“I love you," she says, and his eyes flare wide. He attempts to jerk back out of her hands, but she holds tight.

“I love you, and I won’t let you push me away. I won’t let either of us ruin this. You are the best part of my life, Asim, the best thing to ever happen to me. You can try to hide, but I’m not going anywhere," she says, staring directly into his green eyes. Her favorite eyes, now dulled by trauma and loss.

His beautiful gaze turns glassy, and he leans forward, pressing his forehead into hers. She pulls him in and snakes her arms around him, giving him the best hug she can while awkwardly cramped in her small car.

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