Page 154 of Home Game

After that, every day at one, he appeared in the doorway with his coat and his lunch. He liked to sit in the park and eat his lunch and afterward walk around the lagoon.

I dared not try to discuss anything personal, but he seemed to enjoy talking about two things. Accounting and wrestling. And not Olympic wresting either. The guy was obsessed with WWE and all the players. The incongruence of this serious, brilliant-mindedaccountant talking about phantom bumps and spot-monkeys’ was the best part of my day.

One day, while we sat on a bench in front of the water, I broke our cardinal rule. “Are you married?”

“I was.” He shut his Tupperware container and put it back in his lunch bag.

“Oh.”

“She was the love of my life. When she got pregnant, we were over the moon. I never felt such joy in my life as I did in her presence.”

“What happened?”

“The baby was breech. We called an ambulance, and I followed behind in our car. The ambulance was t-boned by a grocery truck. She died at the scene and our child died with her.”

“Oh fuck,” I breathed. “I’m so sorry.”

“It was a long time ago.”

“You never remarried.”

“Never wanted to. I knew I’d never find someone like her again in my life.”

That’s how I felt about Ryan. I had been given my one shot at love and it had failed. And that would be it for me. I started to cry. “Sorry.”

He glanced at me, but didn’t speak.

I got myself under control and wiped my face with my sleeve. “Does it ever stop hurting?”

“No,” he bit into his apple. “But you will get used to feeling this bad.”

CHAPTER 31

RYAN

I layin Zoey’s bed and stared at the wall. I hadn’t slept in my own bed since that first night she had left. I hugged her pillow like a teenage girl. Trying to breathe in her scent.

The day Krista took her apartment shopping, I had paced all day, planning my talk with Zoey. My heart had stopped when Krista had shown up at my place instead of Zoey.

“Where is she?” I stood in the doorway and watched as Krista moved around Zoey’s room gathering up her stuff.

“I told you if you hurt her, I’d disown you.”

“Tell me where she is, Krista,” It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Zoey was supposed to come home, and I was going to talk to her and explain what I was trying to do. I was supposed to help her move out and help her thrive. So we could get to the place where she felt like an equal. It hadn’t even dawned on me she wouldn’t come back and wouldn’t give me an opportunity to explain.

“She’s at my place which is where she will stay.”

I dropped her arm and moved out of the bedroom, looking for my keys and wallet. I needed to talk to Zoey. Make her understand.

“Ryan, where do you think you’re going?” Krista followed me.

“I need to talk to her.”

“No!” She stood in front of me, her arms pushing against my chest. “Absolutely not.”

“She can’t just leave. Not without me explaining.”

“You fooled around with her and then asked her to leave. She is devastated!”

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