Page 86 of Bro Amazing

As soon as the words are out of Mom's mouth, I realize she's right. Throwing myself into work is a pretty good idea. So good, in fact, that I wonder if that's why my ex-boyfriends' schedule is suddenly so full. Maybe it's not a big upcoming competition. Maybe they, too, are reeling from the breakup.

I search through the public appearance page on their website and I'm not seeing any public appearances for a few more months. Even perfectionists like them wouldn't prepare for something six months in advance.

My phone beeps and I reach for it automatically.

It's a text from Sasha, of all people.You weren't at critique group this week.Maddie and Angela read me the riot act. I'm sorry that the stress of publishing made me try to sleep with your boyfriends.

Rolling my eyes, I text back,That's a shit apology. Not accepted.

Then I take a page out of my exes' streaming book and block her number. I don't need that kind of negative energy in my life,and I wouldn't put it past her to find out that we broke up and for her to apply for the job of their live-in girlfriend. Shaking my head, I try to dislodge that image from my mind. I'm not going to go there.

But Sasha's shit apology makes me think of my own. I didn't really give any validation to the gamers' feelings that I used and betrayed them. For all my pretending that I'm so good with people and know what I'm doing, I'm ruining a lot of things lately.

The live stream is over, probably in part because of the comment thread in the sidebar chat. So I pull up the private subscriber chat.

I don't want to out them on lying on their site that they're no longer in a relationship so I need to craft my message carefully.

"Your girlfriend is lucky to have five amazing boyfriends like you all."

Simple enough that most of the other subscribers won't pay much attention, but direct enough that they'll know I'm the one who left the comment, if my user name matching my pen name didn't already clue them in. I'm giving away that I'm one of their subscribers and they'll probably block me, but I'll need to stop subscribing anyway if I'm going to have a chance of getting over them.

All I can do is stare at the comment, waiting to be blocked.

Some of the other subscribers are already responding, confused because they didn't realize all of the gamers shared the same girlfriend. Others are berating me for bringing her up because the guys don't like to talk about their personal life, telling me that I'm going to be kicked out for talking about it and I should respect the rules and their desire for privacy.

It's such a mixed bag of emotions and replies, and I can't just sit here and wait for them to block me. So I do it myself. I pull upall of their numbers on my phone and block each and every one. If I'm going to have a chance of moving on, I need to start now.

I close my laptop again and join my mom in the kitchen, where she's heating up some leftovers. She even pours us some wine and lets us sit in the living room to watch a movie. We choose a comedy so neither of us cries.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

"Clarissa," says Dad, knocking on my closed bedroom door.

Rolling out of bed to answer it, I know look like a troll. Now that my parents know my sad situation, I've fluctuated between not caring about how I look and feeling super motivated to be so awesome that my exes will regret their decision.

Today is a troll day.

"Hey, hun," says Dad in his sad-but-trying-to-be-upbeat voice, "your mom and I thought we could all use a little family fun time. Why don't you get dressed and we can leave the house today?"

"Today's not a good day." I start to close the door so I can crawl back beneath my blankets, but he sticks his foot in the door.

"Coffee is brewed and we're leaving in twenty. See you downstairs." Dad heads back down the hall, calling, "I love you!" over his shoulder.

Grumbling to myself, I go into the bathroom to take the hottest shower of my life. After that, I'm pouring my coffee into the biggest mug I can find in order to endure this. If I'm not downstairs in time, Dad will come back up here and guilt trip me until I comply, so it's better to just go along with it. Especiallybecause they really have been understanding with my staying here lately.

I'm not sure they'll be quite as understanding when my boxes arrive from Chicago, but I'll cross that bridge when it happens.

Mom hands me a travel mug as soon as I'm downstairs.

"I can't even sit and enjoy my coffee?" I grumble.

"Of course you can," says Mom. "In the car while we're on our way."

"Where are we going, exactly?" I settle into the backseat of the car, sipping the life-giving brew that is coffee. If they expect me to be upbeat or even alive, they'll have to wait until this entire thermos kicks in.

"It's a surprise," says Dad cheerily as he turns around to back us out of the driveway.

Great. I'm not sure I can take any more surprises. I just watch out the window as the small town I grew up in passes by, then disappears.

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